


Chasing Iron

by JaebirdPikeri



Series: Crossing Lines [2]
Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2020-03-20 07:19:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 73,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18987913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaebirdPikeri/pseuds/JaebirdPikeri
Summary: MOST OF THE WORK IS T/M. OCCASIONAL CHAPTERS CONTAIN SEXUAL SCENES WHICH I HAVE BEEN WARNED MAY CLASSIFY AS E RATHER THAN M. THESE WILL BE SIGN POSTED FOR PEOPLE WHO PREFER TO SKIP SUCH CONTENT.After three years, Magnus and Alex have finally defined that they are, in fact, in a relationship. Now they have to face the conversations and complications they avoided all this time.Direct sequel to Alex Fierro and the Thanksgiving of Doom. Events happening in that fic will impact the plot of this one, so without reading it first you may find this harder to follow.





	1. Reyna's spear is called WHAT now?! (Magnus POV)

**Author's Note:**

> For those who didn't read Thanksgiving of Doom: Annabeth invited Magnus to share Thanksgiving. He brought Alex. Percy invited many of his former questing buddies. There were hijinks, a talking weapons conference and Alex finally realised/admitted that they are dating seriously.

_Alex loves me._ The words had been circling round in my head since she’d told me before Thanksgiving dinner. Now, as Jack finally returned to pendant form, he mistook them for a message.

_‘Um… Duh? Señor, Alex has loved you for a_ long _time.’_ He buzzed against my collarbone.

_‘How did_ you _know, Jack?’_

_‘Everyone knows; it’s pretty obvious.’_ I took this with a pinch of salt as Jack thinks it’s ‘pretty obvious’ that the song ‘Call me maybe’ is the greatest love song of all time. (Although he _does_ tend to fall in love at first sight…)

I glanced over at Alex. She was usually adept at fitting in anywhere she felt like, but seemed to be having trouble during this trip. She was smiling and exchanging postal addresses with Piper and Nico (typically the two people Annabeth confided she was _most_ worried Alex would despise) but I could see her hands shaking a little.

_Maybe it wasn’t fair to ask her to come along._

_‘…You don’t get it do you, señor?’_ Jack sighed.

_‘What don’t I get?’_

_‘You didn’t ask.’_

_‘She offered to be nice.’_

_‘She just wanted to come with you.’_

I shook my head at Jack’s ditziness and went over, gently touching Alex’s shoulder to remind him that he did have allies here.

‘Tell Jack he’s welcome to visit Maka and I any time… He can even bring you if he likes.’ Nico told me, his eyes glittering with mischief. The mismatch between that and the constant drag of his mental wounds always made me nervous but I smiled back and shook his hand.

‘Maka?’

‘He didn’t tell you? He ran a masterclass on getting to know your weaponry last night.’

_‘JACK!’_

_‘What? They asked! Ask Alex, she was there!’_

‘You held a masterclass for Nico and Alex?’ I asked out loud.

‘Technically, Reyna, Hazel and me. Alex just walked in on us.’

‘It was so freaky, they looked like a cult.’ Alex grinned up at me and unexpectedly latched onto my arm.

My face flamed. I felt like I was supposed to make some kind of answering gesture but I couldn’t exactly hold his hand and I knew for sure if I did anything that might be perceived as patting his head, mine was coming off.

_‘Kiss.’_ Jack suggested.

_‘Stop reading my mind Jack!’_

_‘Shalalalala, my oh my, looks like the boy’s too shy, ain’t gonna, kiss the guy, shalalalala, ain’t that sad? Such a shame, too bad, you’re gonna waste his time.’_

Someone kissed the guy but it wasn’t me. Alex went up on tiptoe and kissed me softly.

‘You okay, Mags?’ He cocked his head, his mismatched eyes gorgeously softened.

I managed to swallow. ‘Jack’s writing Disney parodies in my head.’

‘Oooooh… Good luck.’ Alex laughed and squeezed my arm slightly.

_Is he asking for permission after last night?_ Trying to test my theory before Jack could weigh in (undaunted by the kiss he was still rewriting ‘Kiss the girl’ to be more appropriate to the situation) I wrapped my arm loosely around him. Usually he would squirm free and tell me to back off but to my surprise he moved closer.

‘Magnus.’ Annabeth wrapped me up in a sweet-smelling hug. ‘Thank you for coming.’ She bit her lip. I knew she was worried about ‘nagging’ me so I smiled and hugged her back.

‘Thanks for inviting me… Sorry that Jack started a cult.’

‘Jack is a noble blade! You’re lucky to have him!’ To everyone’s surprise (I could tell because they all stopped what they were doing to watch), Reyna spoke up in Jack’s defence. ‘He’s kindly and wise!’

‘ _REYNA!’_ Jack burst out of pendant form. His runes flashed emotionally. ‘You and Cutie are lucky to have each other too… Keep trying and I know you’ll be able to communicate, even without me!’

Alex pressed his face into my chest. This was not affectionate, but a way to hide the fact he was shaking with laughter. Almost everyone else tried to cover their amusement but Percy laughed so hard he collapsed on the sofa. (Estelle squealed, still riding in his arms.)

Jack bobbed over to him and said (In his deliberately deepened, flirting voice.) ‘Take care of Riptide. I’ll be back for her.’ He floated over and returned to runestone form.

By now, I was probably crimson. ‘Sorry. Jack’s… free-spirited.’

‘Hey, that’s our cult leader you’re talking about.’ Nico laughed.

‘We better go… Boston train.’ Alex tugged on my shirt for attention. (Usually he’d pull my hair. Apparently he freaked out more than I thought about getting pushed away last night… Well, he _did_ say he didn’t know I had a touch thing.)

‘Yeah, Sam’s coming to meet us, I don’t want to keep her waiting.’ As I spoke, I felt a massive internal wound in Alex rip open. He went rigid and pulled away from my side.

‘She might be too busy. Don’t get your hopes up.’ He didn’t look my way at all.

‘Did you two have a fight?’

Alex turned and glared sharply. I could hear as clearly as if he’d yelled _‘Back off, I’m not ready to talk about this!’_

‘…Sorry.’ It was almost reassuring. Pulling close and pushing away in turns is Alex’s thing.

‘You’re smiling, you know?’ Annabeth muttered.

I covered my mouth, blushing. ‘It’s just… A really Alex thing to do, you know?’

Annabeth sighed. ‘Well, I wish for your sake he was a bit more straight-forward… But it’s too late for that, isn’t it?’

‘I’ll be in touch.’ I hugged her once more, thanked Mrs. Blofis for having us and hurried down to the station.

Alex cheered up and roped me into playing Mario Kart with him on the train. He was more relaxed now that we were out of the apartment.

‘Hey…’

‘If you’re going to whine about the blue shell, whine to the dev team, not me.’ Alex quipped.

‘Thanks for coming with me.’

Surprisingly, he blushed. ‘Just did what I wanted to. Don’t make a big deal.’

‘It’s fine. I’ve accepted you all worry about me.’ I tried to smile.

‘Magnus.’ There was a warning note in Alex’s voice. ‘I’ll tell you this once more and then the case is closed. I wasn’t worried, I just did what I wanted to do.’ He was really blushing by now.

_He actually just wanted to spend Thanksgiving with me._

‘Alex.’ I got his attention away from his game and lifted my eyebrows slightly, looking at his mouth. (Yes, we developed a code for ‘Can I kiss you?’. It was too embarrassing to ask otherwise.)

He nodded, biting his lower lip.

I only meant it to be a quick peck but well… Alex is kinda my catnip. I’m not sure how long we would have kissed if we hadn’t heard someone mutter: ‘Disgusting… You can tell about the feminine one but the other one looks like a regular guy.’

Alex broke away and looked him up and down. When he got like this, it was the only mood of his that still scared me. There’s just too much _Loki_ in his eyes.

‘Disgusting… He looks like a normal guy but he’s a cheater, clear as day.’ He lashed out, his tongue as sharp as his wire.

The guy went from normal to white to red too fast for Alex to be wrong. He stood up, his eyes blazing with fury. ‘Listen you piece of shit-’ He started blinking rapidly. Where Alex was, there now sat a pretty black cat with mismatched eyes. ‘Listen… kid… Animals aren’t allowed on…’

‘What, you’re calling me an animal now? _Rude_.’ Alex leaned back against me. ‘Think I should punch him Mags?’

‘I think we should just play Mario Kart… Should I invite Jack?’

‘Oooh, please.’

A flying, disco light sword serenading the carriage proudly with his latest song lyrics was enough to tip the mortals over the edge. They stopped looking at us at all rather than try and make sense of it.

‘Thanks Jack.’

‘Any time, _señors_.’ He went back to sleep.

‘Do you think I’m feminine?’ Alex may have been seriously asking, or may have wanted to distract me long enough to hit me with a green shell.

‘Dammit Alex!’ I looked at the screen without seeing it. _Was_ Alex feminine? I thought of her in the wedding dress. ‘Sometimes, yeah.’

‘As a guy though?’ He persisted. He wasn’t looking at me know, his knuckles white.

‘I dunno. You’re still pretty; like in your face. But feminine’s not exactly…’ I was starting to flounder. Conversations like this with Alex are a minefield. There’s a lot of wrong answers and there better not be a hint of a lie in even the best answer.

‘I don’t like this.’ He muttered. I’m not sure if I was meant to hear but I asked anyway.

‘Being pretty as a guy?’

‘Caring how you think I look!’

It seemed obvious when he said it aloud. For Alex, people usually didn’t like him dressing or looking how he wanted. So getting approval meant being liked, which used to mean he’d agreed to change himself for someone else.

I put my hand on his nervously. ‘You like looking like this as a guy though, right? Deciding what’s manly or girly for you.’

He blinked. ‘Yeah. I do.’ He squeezed my hand. ‘I do want you to like looking at me though. But I don’t want you to see me as a girl playing dress up.’ It wasn’t much more than a whisper.

I wished I was one of those eloquent people who knew how to express themselves, like Annabeth. I just had to flounder and hope Alex understood. ‘I think… you’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. But I don’t think that’s something to do with masculine or feminine or what… The first couple of times I saw you change… it seemed weird to me that you don’t look more different. Most of the time unless we’re… _really_ close… I can’t even tell by your figure which you are it’s just… a feeling. I don’t really… If you felt like you had to be different… Or that I want you to be… That’s not right. Like, not correct, not just… not morally right.’

He shut me up by kissing me again. He was forceful as usual, setting the pace. I’d always liked it too much to complain.

‘You’re too charming, you big dork.’ His voice was breathier than usual, eyes dark and intense. It sent my brain and stomach cart-wheeling, tightening my chest. Some part of me was aware that this wasn’t a good idea but all I could think about was Alex; the taste of his mouth, the way his lips quirked toward his amber eye only when he was amused, the softness of his skin compared to the roughness of his palms.

_‘Yo señor! You’re still in public!’_ Jack warned me.

‘I… uh… Oops…’ My face burned. I expected Alex to smirk and flounce, to be winding me up and pushing my buttons, but he blushed as much as I did, adjusting the sweater wrapped around his waist.

_Oh._

This is going to sound bizarre but I was always kind of assuming that Alex kinda… tolerated me not being… I don’t even know. Alex isn’t exactly a guy who freely confides his type. And I’m usually not _anyone’s_ type so…

‘I didn’t know you were… y’know… _into_ me.’ I blurted out.

Alex looked at me as though I’d burst into that dreams song from Cinderella. (I know that seems oddly specific but Alex _hates_ that song. Jack burst into it once and Alex lassoed him and threw him so far out of the hotel that him coming back killed me.)

‘Magnus… In your mind what _exactly_ have we been doing the past three years? I know we weren’t dating but why would I make out with someone I wasn’t _into_?!’

‘I don’t know! I just… You just… I always look kind of goofy and you like things that are beautiful and interesting so…’

Alex gave me a weird look; like he was weighing up kissing me or killing me. I nervously waited and tried not to get killed.

‘You actually aren’t kidding are you?’ Alex rubbed his eyes, looking more openly perplexed than I’d ever seen him. ‘You don’t like how you look?’

‘I don’t really think about it… Not much?’ I didn’t really want to go into the whole einherjar body story. I mean, I’m lucky enough to not be hugely ugly or anything… just not handsome. Especially not next to someone like Alex.

To my surprise, he reached out and stroked the side of my face. ‘But you’re so gorgeous… I can’t believe you don’t see it.’ His black brows knotted together, fluttering his long lashes beneath them. ‘Is that why you always wore your hair long? I thought it was a waste hiding your face…’

_Never mind Valhala. This is the real paradise afterlife._

‘You aren’t winding me up?’

‘I mean every word.’ Alex kissed me again, soft and sweet like he only does when he thinks I really need him.

There were so many explosions going off in my head, I might have missed Boston Station if Sam hadn’t found our window and thumped it with her fist.

‘Oh fuck.’ Alex went white. ‘She’s going to kill me.’

‘Alex… What did you do?!’


	2. It's possible I am VERY OCCASIONALLY wrong (Alex POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for mentions of suicide

I knew right away that Sam was still angry. She had her lioness eyes on, which were a sure give away. I’d meant to spend the last part of the journey calming myself down so I could face her without getting defensive but Magnus had been very distracting. (In my defence, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let him think he’s not hot?)

It was not the ideal conditions for an apology. I was still flushed and awaiting the return of blood to my brain. Sam was thrown off guard because she really doesn’t like people making out in highly public places but she’s _way_ too respectful of other people’s opinions to complain about it. Magnus was confused and clearly determined to stay and save me from being killed. Jack had really missed Sam and didn’t think anything the rest of us had going on could be more important than that.

‘Did you have a good Thanksgiving?’ Sam spoke tightly. I had a feeling she was missing her axes.

‘Um… Pretty good.’ Magnus gave up trying to catch Jack and let him chatter on.

‘It was… different.’ I shrugged. ‘Can we… y’know, talk?’

Sam stared at me long enough that I thought she was going to say no. Then she nodded curtly, excused the pair of us and walked off, her head high.

‘So… I’m sorry. Yesterday I was spiteful and it’s not right for me to treat you like that.’ Ugh, I hate apologising. But I hate people who can’t admit when they’re in the wrong more.

‘No, it’s not.’ Sam’s eyes flashed. ‘I shouldn’t have to expect my sibling to take cheap shots like that!’

‘Brother today. For now anyway…’ I mumbled.

‘Brother.’ Sam nodded.

‘I don’t have any excuse. I knew you were right, freaked out, lashed out. It’s a shit reason and I’m sorry.’ I hung my head.

Sam hugged me unexpectedly. Even if we’re brother and sister, she doesn’t do that often.

‘I know talking about stuff like that scares you. I shouldn’t have pushed you, especially not over the phone when I couldn’t see you properly… I just get frustrated sometimes… you’re going to push him away too far one day and you won’t be able to come back from it…’ Sam sighed. ‘But you were right too. It was a horrible thing to suggest to you. I just wanted you to seriously think about the fact that if you two aren’t dating, he might decide he wants a proper partner.’

‘Well _you_ were right about that. My boyfriend’s disgustingly happy over making things official.’ I tried to be casual but I knew I was blushing.

‘Your _what_?!’ Sam stared.

‘I know I’m stubborn… But I _do_ listen to you Sam. We talked.’ I fiddled with the ends of my hair. ‘I don’t know if it will work out… I freaked out when he tried to tell me he loves me… But we’re trying.’ I didn’t tell her about the touch thing. That’s Magnus’ business to confide or not confide.

She smiled at me. Sam is unbearably beautiful and serene when she smiles. Particularly as after I was so bitchy to her and she was still able to be honestly happy for me.

‘You took the first step. Every one counts.’ She told me, hugging me again.

She took us back to the hotel. She might be retired as a Valkyrie but she’s done too much for them not to get a free visiting pass. On the way we filled her in on as much of the weekend as we could. She laughed a lot, especially over the thing about Estelle’s fascination with my hair.

‘Oh her poor mother.’ Sam wiped her eyes.

‘It’ll be okay… Alex talked her out of it with a fairy tale.’ Magnus spoke softly, looking bothered. Seriously, that fairy tale was the worst idea I’ve ever had. It’s got everyone freaking out about me.

‘..For the record, it’s not like my dad used to beat me or anything.’ I blurted out.

Sam jumped, clearly wondering where that came from.

Magnus looked at me, his eyes steely. ‘There’s a lot between not hitting and beating.’

‘There’s a lot of stuff that isn’t your business.’

‘You brought it up Alex! I didn’t ask!’ Magnus glared at me. It was weirdly reassuring, like when you get into a pool and check that you can still put your foot on the bottom. I like feeling out people’s limits… And knowing what they’ll do. If he’d grabbed me or shoved me, I’d have been worried but this… Well, getting angry is pretty normal.

‘Okay.’ I kissed his cheek, hoping he could hear the _sorry for jerking you around._

Either way, I think he liked it, since he put his arm around me and hugged me to his side. Sam raised her eyebrows. (Well on Wednesday we _were_ still at the stage of never doing more than hold hands in public.)

‘Sam, are you coming in for dinner?’ Magnus asked.

She went a particular shade of red that we’ve named Amir-red for its only reason. ‘I can’t, I have other plans.’

‘I hope you have a suitable chaperone.’ I teased.

‘Jid and Bibi are having dinner with us.’ She smoothed the green silk of her hijab. ‘You can stay with your boyfriend.’

Magnus jumped. ‘Alex told you?’

‘Yes he did.’ Sam seemed to be trying not to laugh.

‘What, were we a secret?’ I put on a glare, wanting him to get flustered.

He fell right into it, blushing and gabbling. ‘That’s not it! I just wanted- I thought you- I wasn’t sure- We only talked about dating not about telling anyone so-!’

I grabbed his face and shut him up with a kiss.

‘You’re so easy to tease.’ I laughed.

Sam cleared her throat. ‘I think I’ll leave you two in peace.’

‘…Sorry Sam.’

She shook her head. ‘You two are comfortable around me… It’s nice that my family feels that comfortable. It’s just… unusual seeing you so flirtatious.’

As she hurried off, Magnus commented. ‘You know, it’s not often I see it but you two are surprisingly alike.’

‘Alike? In what way?’

‘Your feelings are complicated… It’s not as straightforward as she likes us being relaxed around her or she doesn’t like us kissing in front of her, it’s both.’ He laughed, self-conscious and self-depreciating as usual. ‘I think I’m too simple minded for that.’

‘Really? You’re pretty hard to figure out if you ask me.’ I muttered. This complimenting thing doesn’t come naturally to me, but if being more honest is what it takes to get him over stupid notions like me just tolerating him… Then it’s worth it. ‘And you noticed that contradiction. Most people, if they pick up on that, would say ‘She’s lying about one of them’ not ‘She’s complicated so she feels both at once’…’

I didn’t get an answer right away because Magnus spotted Hundig and went to give him his chocolate. He never forgets to pick up some kind of treat for Hundig when he leaves the hotel. I hung back, watching the bittersweet look cross his face as Hundig lit up at the sight of it. He’d explained that look to me once and it’s honestly one of the most Magnus things I’ve ever heard.

_‘I like that I can make him so happy… but it seems wrong that he treats it as such a big favour when I can’t actually help his situation at all.’_

He never quite seems to realise that’s part of his power. That he brings that happiness and warmth to protect you from the hurts that can’t heal. He turned back to me as Hundig moved away, face splitting into a sunny smile.

‘So… Ready to officially tell Hall 19 we’re boyfriend and girlfriend?’ He asked, taking my hand. I still don’t know how he can always tell when I’ve shifted. He always insists he doesn’t know himself but he’s scary accurate. I used to count down how long he would take to notice but these days he often brings it up as soon as it happens.

‘Why do you always tell me you’ve noticed?’ I asked, deciding to finally settle the confusion.

‘…Because you always look impressed when I do.’ He admitted, blushing.

‘You’re too easily pleased.’ I nudged him, trying not to smile.

‘Says the girl who’s blushing because I noticed she wasn’t a guy anymore.’ He nudged me back, giving me his sassy half-smile.

‘I am _not_ blushing!’

‘My mistake, you shape-shifted into a redneck then?’

‘Look who’s talking, Beantown!’

We bickered amicably all through the elevator ride, stepping out just in time to be killed with one of Mack’s knives.

I stared down at where I was bleeding out over my pale pink button down. ‘Dammit Mallory, you couldn’t do it quick and clean?’

‘I was aiming at the big oaf.’ Mallory sighed. ‘Want me to carry you so you can die in your own room?’

‘You know, you could let me heal it…’ Magnus’ fingers were already glowing gold, his power responding instinctively.

‘Eh. If I’m still alive when you get me into bed, sure. You could use the practice.’ I teased him, trying to focus on his face rather than the pain.

Between them, Mallory and Magnus carried me into my room, with Halfborn opening doors. I was starting to fade out now, everything seeming to slow down. I felt the agony of the knife being pulled out… and the familiar flood of warmth and energy. My mouth filled with the taste of the cherry shaved ice _Abuelito_ used to make. There was a coldness around my stomach, and heat from Magnus’ hands.

_Typical. First time he takes my clothes off and it’s medical rather than sensual._

I thought about making a quip along those lines when I woke up, but Magnus was sitting against my wall looking traumatised. I felt all my old defences springing up.

‘What the hell did you see?’

‘That… Adrian guy… When he found out you could shapeshift and…’

‘And the fact I drove him to suicide with it? Because I could switch back and forth and he couldn’t even get his body to go right once?!’ I spat the words out, barely able to breathe.

‘Alex, it wasn’t your fault!’ Magnus started trying the usual spiel of excuses.

‘Get out.’ I cut him off. He was usually quick to heed a direct rejection but this time he tried to stand his ground.

‘You can’t keep blaming yourself!’

‘I NEED MY SPACE RIGHT NOW SO GET OUT!’ I pushed past him into my pottery studio, tossing pieces to the ground at random. I kept raging long after I heard the door shut and sank to the ground among the shards when the protective anger broke dropping me into despair.


	3. Role reversal is kinda fun (Magnus POV)

I sank to the floor outside Alex’s suite, trying not to shake.

‘Our Alex in one of her moods? Sorry for spoiling your flirting.’ Mallory grinned, only half sorry until she saw my face. ‘Magnus?’

‘I saw… something awful. Something she _really_ didn’t want coming out.’ The images were burned into my brain. The body. The note. Alex’s angry words from yesterday: _I ruin everything_.

‘Magnus…’ Mallory sat next to me and wrapped her arms around me, which said more about how bad I must’ve looked than anything else. We could hear the smashing from inside the suite. Alex lashing out desperately at the world like it was a bully holding her down to beat her up and she was trying to fight free.

If this was an anime, going in there and holding onto her no matter how much she raged would lead to her feeling safe and calming down. Unfortunately, I knew to Alex it would feel like being controlled and destroy any chance she had of calming down. I had to wait until _she_ wanted support.

The elevator dinged and TJ stepped out. ‘Are Magnus and Alex back yet… Oh hey there you are.’ TJ grinned which turned into a wince at a particularly loud smash. ‘And there’s Alex… Did you two fight again?’

‘I threw a knife at the big oaf, hit Alex, Magnus healed her, saw something private and now they’re having parallel breakdowns.’ Mallory explained cheerfully.

TJ sat down on my other side. ‘You can’t help seeing into people’s heads Magnus. It’s like they say ‘All magic comes with a price’… That’s the price of yours.’

‘I’m just shaken up. It was pretty bad.’

I knocked a couple of times through the next few hours, feeling out as much as listening out. Every now and then Alex doesn’t say anything but I feel a kind of… Pull? It’s the only time she seems happy for me to approach without being invited. There was nothing either way, she was in total shut down.

She finally came out just as we were all leaving for dinner having changed into something I can only describe as the toxic goth princess look. Her white face contained eyes rimmed in metallic green eye-shadow. Her hair had been turned into waves with one of those tiny top hats on her head. She was wearing a tight, black corset over a silky rose pink blouse and in place of pants she had a tutu made of layers of ripped up pink and green netting. Black tights that looked kinda like a net and knee high green leather boots completed the look. TJ helpfully closed my mouth for me.

‘I know what you’re thinking. You all _wish_ you could pull this off.’ She twirled with a smirk and pointed at Halfborn. ‘Especially you.’

We broke down into collective giggles at the thought of Halfborn in a tutu. (Especially Halfborn, he’s a sport like that.) We all bundled into the elevator as a group. Whether by accident or design, Alex was right on the other side from me.

‘Dude, you have to chill out.’ TJ murmured, counting on Halfborn and Mack’s bickering to cover us. ‘You’re always a little bit obsessed with Alex but this is getting crazy.’

I blushed. ‘I’m worried about her… And… well… you know!’

‘I’m sorry, are you asking me if your girlfriend’s hot?’

‘Wait, how did you know?’ I stared at him.

‘I have eyes, Magnus. She’s not my type but anyone can see Alex is hot.’ TJ looked uncomfortable.

I meant how did he know we were dating now but following up on that kind of took second place and the angry stinging in my stomach. _Anyone can see Alex is hot_. I mean… He wasn’t wrong. I knew that already. So why was it such a big deal?

‘Magnus? Are we still cool man?’ TJ looked really anxious now.

‘Yeah I just… How did you know we started going out? It just happened this morning.’ I blurted.

Typically, this was the moment that Mallory and Halfborn shut up so my voice filled the elevator.

‘Well, _I_ was going to suggest telling them with a little more style but panicked blurting _is_ classic Magnus.’ Alex grinned. I wasn’t sure whether she was amused or getting at me.

‘If you two only started dating this morning… What the hell have you been playing at for the past three years?!’ Mallory demanded.

Alex shrugged. ‘Friendship. With the occasional kiss.’

‘I WILL STAB YOU AGAIN!’

‘Please don’t, I _like_ this shirt!’

‘We were trying things out… After my accidental confession to save the world.’ I blurted.

TJ raised an eyebrow at Alex. ‘It took you _three years_ to decide Magnus was worth dating?’

Silence fell. Even Alex didn’t have an immediate come back because none of us were used to TJ speaking so coldly.

She looked suddenly lost and said quietly. ‘It was a high adrenaline confession. I thought he’d want a chance to change his mind.’

I squeezed past Halfborn and Mallory and took her hand. ‘I’m not changing my mind.’

She gave me a look then that I’d only ever seen on her when she was pulled out of her blackest nightmares. She’d probably smack me for calling it this but I always thought of it as her _please don’t leave me_ look.

I wrapped my arms around her, pressing her up against me. She squirmed and I could feel the heat of her blush.

‘Calm down Beantown, it’s not a huge deal…’ She protested weakly.

I just held on, wishing I could reverse my healing telepathy thing and let her into my head so she could feel how much I loved her. She sagged momentarily before stiffening up and pulling away. I’d done it enough times myself to understand that she’d almost broken down. That’s the trouble with getting in a habit of being ‘strong’; you let yourself relax and every little thing you never cried over comes rushing out. I let her go, wondering if she’d ever trust anyone enough – even herself – to cry out everything that happened. I could tell, the same way I could tell that Hearth ached for his brother and Halfborn still longed to see his mother one more time, that Alex hadn’t even really let herself grieve for her grandfather… Let alone anything that happened since.

When I turned, Mallory and Halfborn had gone back to bickering but TJ was watching us with a concerned look. That stabbing feeling in my stomach came back. _Is he wishing he was the one who hugged her?_ _Did I take his chance to confess when I blurted out about the kiss?_

I went back to my room after dinner. I had a vague thought of going to bed early and going to help out at Chase Space in the morning but it was thrown off when Alex knocked on my door.

He’d changed and showered since dinner, dressed in checked flannel pyjamas and a towel around his neck, protecting his re-dyed hair.

‘I’m sorry for kicking you out.’ He said unexpectedly.

All I could think was: _Huh?_ I mean… I pushed, Alex snapped back when I found the limit. That was the cornerstone of our relationship.

He was blushing, a streak of green spreading down his face as a droplet of dye and water slid down. I reached up to catch it and he jumped slightly, getting redder.

‘I wasn’t- that’s not why I came over- I really did just want to apologise!’ He babbled. Usually _I’m_ the one getting flustered and babbling. (Although I’m pretty sure that I didn’t look half as cute doing it.)

I also suddenly got why he wound me up so often. It was strangely fun being the one doing the teasing.

‘Hmm? You aren’t explaining very clearly Al.’ I caught his waist. ‘Are you hoping to come in?’

He blushed worse than ever and squirmed. ‘I told you! I just came by to apologise!’

‘I didn’t ask if you came by hoping to come in… I asked if you want to come in now.’ The words sounded a little cheesy to me, but it seemed to work. Alex nodded slightly, still bright red.

‘Want to watch something? I found this British adaption of the Sherlock Holmes stories in a modern day setting that seems pretty good…’ I tried to lighten the mood. Alex seemed… charged up, like he might turn into a cheetah and start racing around the room again.

He nodded again, hugging his knees as he sat on the sofa.

I set the tv up, feeling like I always do on quests; like I’m not _quite_ seeing the whole picture.

_Why did Alex apologise this time? He’s never felt bad for needing space before…_

Impulsively, I grabbed a towel from the bathroom.

_This will be easier if we don’t have to make eye contact._

‘Hey… Don’t dye my sofa green!... Here, I’ll dry your hair.’ I sat next to him and started rubbing at his head with the towel. It was weird, there was nothing coupley about it but I felt really close to him doing it.

_Is this why he likes cutting my hair for me?_

Alex was unusually quiet through all this. I realised I had to talk, even if it meant getting used as the spring board for a kangaroo.

‘Is everything okay with you? That apology was kind of weird.’ I tried to sound casual but Alex still went rigid. I braced myself for imminent death.

‘You mean it’s weird because I don’t apologise to you. Ever. Right?’ He muttered.

‘You’ve apologised to me before.’ I tried to reassure him again but he cut me off.

‘Not for kicking you out.’ He shook his head to get the towel out of his face and peered up at me, mismatched eyes soft and sad. ‘Why don’t you get pissed off? I _know_ you do angry, I’ve seen it plenty of times. Am I bullying you? Scaring you into keeping your mouth shut?’

Ironically, as soon as he said that, I _did_ get pissed off. ‘I know I’m not exactly the best warrior but how weak do you think I am?! I’d tell you if you were annoying me!’

‘So why do you _always_ let me set the pace?! Deciding when we go out, when we can be close, when we touch… Don’t you get tired of being bossed and screamed at?’ Alex clenched his hands into fists but I was close enough to see them shake. ‘Even TJ thinks its nuts that you let yourself be jerked around so long. Annabeth too. I bet more people, they just haven’t said it.’

_How can I be angry at you when I can see how much you need me right now?_

I rumpled the towel more vigorously so I didn’t have to worry about making stupid faces or getting lost in Alex’s eyes.

‘You know, I’m not as relaxed as you think, and you’re not as pushy as you think… You think you’re the one setting the pace but that’s because you always choose to give in when I try to change it… You back down when I want space and even when you want space you make sure I know you’re there for me… Like the other day. Me inviting you to Thanksgiving clearly brought up some painful stuff but you still made sure I knew you were happy to come with me… If I don’t push you to change your pace it’s because you don’t overrule me with it… And yeah, sometimes I’d like us to get closer faster… But that doesn’t mean I don’t know that you don’t _like_ people getting close… I already intrude on you enough thanks to the stupid healing thing, I don’t want to push you any more than that!’ I dropped the towel, letting it cover Alex’s face and caught my breath. I was a little unnerved that he’d let me speak so long without a word of his own.

He reached up and pulled the towel down, his eyes glazed with warmth. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way.’

‘Take what the wrong wa-?’ He kissed me, but it wasn’t like usual. It was slow, chaste and gentle… But it made my head spin more than our most frenzied make out session.

‘Not to do anything!’ He pulled back blushing. ‘But not just because of nightmares either… Can I stay here tonight?’

_Yes! YesyesyesyesYES!_

‘Sure.’


	4. More interesting than Jim from I.T. (Alex POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I have never been 100% clear on the boundary between M and E rated sexual content. My understanding is that M can cover sexual situations and feelings but they should be described non-explicitly, however there is a possibility I have under-estimated the line. If you feel this chapter should be rated E, PLEASE tell me, I have no intention of violating the community standards. 
> 
> Also, as you can probably tell from that disclaimer: This chapter contains sexual content.

It would have been easier to seduce him. I’m a natural at that, whether it’s a Loki thing or a Fierro thing. Magnus is more invested in the emotional stuff though.

We were both embarrassed and started the evening on opposite sides of the sofa, looking rigidly at the screen.

‘I think they’re in love.’ I announced, halfway through episode two.

‘Really? You think the John Watson, who’s currently on a date, is secretly in love with his mad roommate?’ Magnus laughed, raising an eyebrow.

‘Do you know how to tell if someone likes you Magnus?’ I raised one back at him.

‘Go on?’

‘They can’t take their eyes off you.’ Oops. Told you I was a natural at seducing people! Naturally, _that_ little comment had Magnus’ eyes dragging down my body, lingering at the nape of my neck and locking on my eyes. (Noted.)

‘I… I guess you have a point.’ He murmured, a little breathily.

_Ugggghhhhhhhhhhhh…. Why is being good so hard?!_

I mean, come on! Who _wouldn’t_ want to jump him?! Still… I told him I wasn’t go to try anything but staying with him tonight… I grabbed a cushion and hugged it to make sure nothing gave me away.

‘What about Sherlock Holmes?’ Magnus shifted as he spoke, moving closer to me.

I tried to concentrate on his question, rather than the heat of his body. ( _He’s hella assertive tonight, I can’t even, at this rate I’m going to need to use his bathroom!_ )

‘When someone’s bad at depending on other people… Sometimes they use stupid pretexts. But the base thing is… they want that person around.’ Episode three had started by now and I nodded at the screen. ‘Look, Jim the psycho from IT is all over him, Molly the mortician is all over him and he’s cold. John Watson gets under his skin.’

‘Jim from IT is a psycho?’ Magnus stifled a laugh.

‘Jim from IT is definitely psycho. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s the main villain of this episode.’ I insisted, nudging him for laughing at me.

‘Come on, you _know_ it’s got to be Moriarty!’ Magnus almost won the argument then, not because of his quality point but because he picked up my hand as he spoke and kissed the back of it. My stomach went into somersaults.

‘Maybe… Jim is Moriarty?’ I guessed, barely aware of the screen at all now.

 _I mean, I suppose_ Magnus _never said nothing was happening tonight_.

‘How badly do you want to find out?’ He asked simply, sitting back slightly. Always the gentleman, giving people outs.

_I can claim I’m dying to know and he won’t question it. He’ll watch TV and not touch me again._

As bad as I wanted this, I almost did. It’s a compulsion, to keep checking that my ‘escape routes’ work. I half tested it, shifting like I was going to get off the sofa. Magnus didn’t move to grab me, he just nodded slightly, his eyes soft and silvery. It was okay. I could change my mind and he wouldn’t get mad or turn violent.

‘I could wait for the answer.’ I murmured, running my hand through his hair. His eyes fluttered closed, leaning into the touch with a little lip twitch that was so _oomph!_

He grabbed the remote and hit pause, looking younger and insecure again suddenly. ‘I might… I don’t know if… If I’ll be okay… I just… I want to try!’

I stroked his hair again, light and non-committal. ‘That’s okay. Changing your mind is okay. You just surprised me last time.’ I promised, wishing I could make him feel as safe as he did me. Sadly safe is not one of my talents, I have an air of danger that makes people call me exciting… but not relaxing.

We sat like that for a few moments, not touching except Magnus holding one of my hands and the other stroking his hair. It was agonising, waiting, but important. I needed him to know he could back out.

He finally cleared his throat to speak. ‘You’re going to have to get closer… If I do I’m going to be on top of you.’

‘Thanks.’ I shifted so I could sit up properly and brought my face close to his.

He put his free hand lightly on my waist. ‘Okay?’

‘Okay… Squeeze my hand if you need to stop.’

I usually took the lead when we made out but tonight he pushed forward first, bringing our lips together. We danced around the issue, a bit of push and pull, testing the waters. It was like the ascent of a rollercoaster, so frustratingly slow and yet there was this flutter of anticipation in my stomach.

‘Magnus…’ I didn’t even mean to speak, it just came out. I barely knew my own voice, this one was low and hoarse and… needy.

It shoved the rollercoaster clean over its peak. Magnus pulled me closer and began mapping out my mouth, confident and thorough. There were a few muffled moans that could have come from either of us. I wriggled into a better angle and my top rode up, making a point of bare contact between our skin. I squeezed reflexively on his hand and Magnus broke away.

‘It’s okay! It’s okay… it was an accident.’ He put his hands up where I could clearly see.

The noise I let out was embarrassingly close to a growl. ‘That’s not it… I _want_ you to touch me I just-!’

‘It’s scary putting your guard down that far.’ Magnus mumbled, looking as frustrated as I felt. ‘Even though I _know_ I can trust you…’

‘…My body still remembers ‘trust nobody if you want to live’ as a rule.’ I finished. ‘And… People usually freak.’

‘Because you change?’

‘Accepting it and being able to handle it aren’t the same thing.’ I punched the sofa so I wouldn’t cry.

‘Can I see you without a shirt on?’ Magnus’ voice made me jump.

Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around myself. ‘Why?’

‘You want to see if I’m actually okay with seeing you as a guy, right? But I figured no pants would be too much.’ He blushed. ‘It doesn’t have to be now just… If you’re right, and you usually are, we won’t know if I’m okay until I’ve had a chance to be okay.’

‘You first.’ I shot back, feeling defensive.

Magnus went crimson, but he peeled the soft t-shirt he liked to sleep in over his head.

_Well fuck._

Did you know Magnus is beautiful? He’s unbelievably fair, from his skin to his hair to his eyes and as slender and lithe as a gymnast. With his unearthly beauty and the impression or light and life and magic he always carried around with him he looked more like a Lord of the Rings type elf than Hearthstone.

I know I’m the one who suggested it but taking his shirt off was _not fair_ because now I wanted to do this even more.

‘Don’t laugh, okay? My natural male form isn’t… ripped or anything.’ I warned him, slowly unbuttoning my top.

Magnus blushed, averting his eyes automatically.

‘Dude, this is the closest you’re getting to a strip tease, make the most of it.’ I quipped, trying to sound breezy. Hopefully he couldn’t hear my voice quiver.

_I don’t want you to just be ‘okay’ with this Magnus. I want you to be as excited as I am looking at you…_

I shrugged off the warm flannel and waited, studying his face for disappointment. His eyes traced me eagerly, pupils blown wide. His hand darted out, stopping just short of grazing my collarbone.

‘Sorry.’ His voice was huskier than usual.

‘You’re not faking?’ I hated my voice there, soft and uncertain and _weak_.

Magnus laughed breathlessly. ‘Alex Fierro get this through your head. Male or female, you’re the most gorgeous person I’ve ever met. But if you _really_ don’t believe me then… it’s okay to punch me for this.’ He caught my hand and pulled it forward, pressing it between his legs and _oh_.

‘Yeah?’ I rested my forehead against his, watching him blush and bite his lip.

‘Yeah. It’s fine if you just don’t feel ready… But if it’s because you think I don’t find you sexy…’ He shook his head, panting. ‘I know I put it there but your hand’s making it hard to concentrate.’

In my defence for what happened next, I’m hard-wired to mischief.

I increased the pressure of my hand and started to move slightly, shooting Magnus a smile that was all teeth as his eyes widened comically. ‘I mean, you said yourself Magnus, you put it there. If that wasn’t consent, I need you to clear things up for me.’

Magnus’ head fell against my shoulder and he groaned softly. ‘Fuck… Alex… That’s!’

I hesitated, worried he was freaking out, but the I noticed his hands. They were loose against his sides, not clenched or scrabbling for freedom. _Trust him._

I leaned back slightly so Magnus could rest against me more comfortably, using my free hand to play with his hair. He kept his face pressed into my chest but I could feel the heat of his blush and every time I started a new stroke between his legs he let out a breathy little whimper.

‘You’re so damn hot.’ I murmured into his hair. I was aching for attention myself by now but Magnus was clearly past fine motor skills and no way in hell was I stopping this. I was starting to figure out the best rhythm, a certain angle and pace that turned his staccato whimpers into a drawn out moaning and gasping.

‘Alex! I’m- if you- Ahh!’ He shuddered, and there was a rush of heat and dampness against my palm. I moved my hand, wrapping both arms around him. The shaking wasn’t stopping.

‘Magnus?’ Fear started to curdle my satisfaction. ‘Magnus, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push so far… I got carried away, I swear I wasn’t trying to scare you!’

He clung onto me suddenly, painfully tight. His breathing was ragged and his skin damp with sweat.

I rubbed his back tentatively, not really sure if I was doing the right thing.

‘Don’t need sorry.’ He gasped out. It was somewhat muffled because his face was smushed against my chest. ‘Just… New.’

‘It’s okay.’ I kissed the top of his head impulsively. ‘Guys are allowed to be emotional about their first time too you know.’

Apparently I’d struck the right note. He went ragdoll against me, murmuring my name a few times.

_I don’t think anyone’s ever trusted me enough to let go like this on me._

Great, now _I_ was getting emotional. I held him tight, still rubbing circles on his back, until his breathing evened out.

He lifted his head at last, looking uncertain. ‘Sorry. That was weird, wasn’t it?’

I kissed him for a good twenty seconds before replying.

‘That was awesome. You’re unbearably cute, you know?’

 _Oh shit. Maybe I shouldn’t have said ‘cute’_ …

Or maybe I should. Maybe Magnus got what I meant. Maybe he just knew me well enough to know it was a real compliment not a sarcastic one. Either was his face split into one of his sunny smiles and he kissed me back.

‘Do you want me to-?’ He started but I cut him off.

‘Not tonight… Let’s go to bed.’

The real answer was _Yes, of course I want you too, but you’re obviously exhausted and already way out of your comfort zone and I want this to be an amazing memory not a stressful one._ Still, the relief on Magnus’ face when I mentioned ‘bed’ was worth it alone.

We separated briefly. Magnus had to clean up and change, which gave me time to discreetly take care of things. (It was pretty easy with the memory of him squirming against me, moaning and panting, fresh in my mind.) I also put my shirt back on because I’ve always _hated_ sleeping uncovered.

I was expecting getting into bed together to be awkward but we fit into each other’s space easily, perhaps because of the times we’d clung together on nightmare nights.

‘Love you Alex.’ Magnus whispered tentatively.

I felt my usual flurry of panic, but it was weaker than usual. ‘Love you too. Go to sleep.’ It came out gruffly but at least I managed to reply.


	5. I'm better at basketball than Hearth though

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to usual rating from now

I fell into a dreamless sleep and woke up three hours later completely wired. I’d usually get up when that happened but tonight I had Alex sprawled over me, somehow managing to tangle our legs together, lie on top of me _and_ use my head as a teddy bear. I was somewhere between panic at being restrained and delight at the sudden closeness.

That’s Alex though. He has a lot of walls but if he’s decided to let you past one he goes all in.

_I still don’t know why he decided to apologise tonight…_

I thought this over. He’d mentioned both TJ and Annabeth. I hadn’t really connected before because Alex doesn’t usually give a fig about other people’s opinions, but maybe he got worried?

I stroked his hair absent-mindedly and blushed, remembering Alex doing the same to me earlier. Urgh… I can’t believe I got so… _weird._ I was so confident, actually managing to flirt for once rather than just babbling and hoping for the best, then one little touch and I came undone.

My chest got tight all over again, remembering the look in Alex’s eyes when he’d called me cute. I wasn’t sure how I felt about _that_ either. There was a part of me crying out _guys aren’t supposed to be cute_ but… Well, _Alex_ is cute, whether he’s a guy or she’s a girl. Hearth is cute when he’s had enough of us and he deliberately put his hands over his eyes so we all _know_ he’s not listening. Annabeth’s friend Frank is cute when he lights up talking about something.

Maybe it was just that… Those guys might be ‘cute’ but there’s also no denying they’re tough. Me? I’m the squishy healer everyone has to look out for, who only survives in battle because his sword fights for him.

Pressed this close, I felt the pain of the nightmare before Alex actually started twitching and whimpering. I rubbed his back trying to calm him down.

‘Don’t burn it!’ He begged some invisible tormentor.

‘Alex, it’s okay, you’re safe now.’ I whispered, struggling to keep a wall between our minds. My power itched under my skin, longing to seep in and soothe the hurt raging inside him.

His face twitched and the pain flickered out. At first, I thought it was a coincidence but he murmured my name, smiling slightly.

My heart promptly went crazy. All this time, Alex had been my Indian summer, beautiful, exciting, a burst of light and warmth… but finite. I was waiting for him to get bored, to pull away, to realise how little I had to offer and shrug me off. I knew I was in love but it getting returned? That seemed crazy to me.

Now though… Alex had followed me to New York for my cousin’s Thanksgiving, even though it had clearly been an uncomfortable experience. She wanted to commit to dating. He was getting insecure over being good enough for _me_ when I was the one playing so far out of my league, I wasn’t sure how I was keeping up. He’d told me he loves me and was sleeping in my arms, just because he wanted to.

 _What do I do?!_ The closest thing I had to a long term couple in my life was Mallory and Halfborn. Maybe one day Sam and Amir but for now they were still betrothed more than boyfriend and girlfriend. There was Blitz and Hearth but they were a seriously recent couple who’d been friends for years first. Me going out with someone I’d only known three was probably outside their comfort zone.

 _Annabeth?_ I mean… by now, she’d been dating Percy a good five years. She didn’t exactly approve of me and Alex but surely she’d give some advice if I asked?

Alex sat bolt upright, pulling a weird face and scrambling away from me. Before I could say anything to him, he stretched and cursed softly. When she turned to face me, her eyes were cloudy with too little sleep and she shuffled back into bed, slumping against me.

‘Sorry… Didn’t mean to wake you.’ She murmured.

‘I was already up.’ I admitted, looping my arms around her. Her body doesn’t change hugely when she shifts but this close I could feel the difference, the narrower waist and wider hips, the different way of angling her legs and the softness of her chest.

‘You okay?’ She blinked up at me, ready to listen.

‘Thinking about tonight. And us.’ It wasn’t quite an answer. I suddenly remembered something he’d said earlier. ‘ _My natural male form’_ ‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Yes, plenty of guys cry.’

‘I was _not_ crying!’ I protested, heating up. (I hope that wasn’t a lie.) ‘No it was what you said about your natural male form… Can you choose what you look like?’

‘If this was anyone else, I’d think you were asking for kink reasons.’ Alex yawned but I heard the edge behind the quip. She was weighing up how much she was ready to tell me. Not wanting to stress her out, I waited quietly. ‘I can, but not properly.’

‘I don’t think I get it.’ I admitted.

‘I’d be weirded out if you did. That wasn’t the whole answer… Okay, you remember I made my face look like Sam’s for her wedding to Thrym?’ Alex waited for my nod. ‘I couldn’t keep that up long term. False shapes are difficult for me to keep up… But I have two real ones. One male and one female…’ She watched me intently there.

‘That makes sense… I never really thought about it but if one of them was fake it would tire you out to keep up, right?’ I remembered how she tended to fall back to her normal human self when exhausted.

She lit up and hugged me then. I realised with a jolt she’d been waiting for me to tell her that was ridiculous and she must have been born in her ‘real’ gender and putting on the other one.

‘So, my natural forms are both pretty androgynous.’ She was speaking quickly and eagerly now. ‘Like… Sometimes I think ‘I’d look better in this dress with bigger boobs’ or ‘Why are my legs so slender?!’ when I’m a guy… but although I _can_ change those things, it’s holding a false form and it’s difficult… Trying to stay in the wrong real form is hard too, but a different kind of hard… That just sets off dysphoria but it _is_ still my body, just wrong.’

‘So you think maybe there’s other gender fluid shape-shifters who have a more obvious change?’ I was once again seized by the image of Halfborn in a tutu and laughed.

Misunderstanding, Alex scowled at me. ‘How should I know? It’s not like we have a club with a monthly newsletter.’

‘Sorry, I was imagining Halfborn in a tutu.’ I explained. I thought more about the visible/invisible change thing. ‘I wonder if it’s affected by your personality?’

Alex sobered up from laughing at the tutu thing. ‘How’d you mean?’

‘You like being the one who dictates whether you’re girly or manly… In a way, people having to be told whether you’re she, like tonight, or he, like earlier, suits you.’ My voice trailed off a little, worried I’d offended her.

She contemplated this, chewing her nails. ‘Maybe. It’s hard to tell. I already had that attitude by the time I got to the age you can tell anyway.’

‘Huh?’

She rocked on the spot, weighing up again. Apparently, I’d earned some more trust because she elaborated.

‘When I was little, my dad wanted a son. He was pretty set that should be my ‘real’ form… For a while, I tried to please him.’ Alex shrugged. ‘Maybe I would’ve tried longer but my _Abuelito_ understood that just one wasn’t for me. Hang on.’ She slipped out of my arms and darted to the door.

I stayed completely still, afraid of shattering this open mood she’d slipped into.

She came back holding a battered shoebox and a photograph. ‘Here.’

I took it. It showed an old man, aged but clearly a past beauty, holding up a little girl with bright mismatched eyes in a green silk dress, patterned with pink and white flowers. She was lifting a wobbly pot up to the camera and beaming out, her dark hair in clumsy pigtails.

‘You were adorable.’ I grinned at her.

‘I know.’ She smirked. ‘That dress belonged to an aunt of mine who died as a teenager. _Abuelito_ let me wear her clothes because my dad would only buy me boys’ clothes. It’s how I learned that you can express yourself with clothes. At first, I would dress as one or the other… Then at his funeral I was stuck. I was a girl but I didn’t want to wear a dress, even if my dad would have listened. So I wore my little tux but I forced my hair to grow out and dressed it up with flowery hairslides… My dad went nuts but I knew _Abuelito_ would be proud of me and that was all that mattered.’ She looked up at me, her eyes shining.

‘You’re really brave you know? No matter who tries to tell you that you can’t, you always be exactly who you are.’ I opened my arms in invitation.

She moved into them, still holding her shoebox protectively.

‘Is that what you have instead of a photo wall?’

‘Yeah…’ She closed down on that one. I decided not to push my luck. She nudged me suddenly. ‘You tired?’

‘No… Completely wired.’ I shrugged.

‘Good.’ She grinned. ‘Your turn.’

‘My turn to what?’ I asked, lost.

‘Tell me something about you as a little kid. Something that stayed vivid your whole life.’

I almost laughed. Three years in and we’re finally getting to know each other.

‘When I was about five I tried out for Peewee basketball. The coach said I didn’t have enough grit and stamina, because I was really scared of my asthma back then so I’d always stop and sit down if I started getting out of breath. My mom told me ‘Of course you can’t do it now. It’s hard. But if it’s worth it, you keep trying until you can do it.’… She spent a whole year helping me build endurance, strengthening my lungs without pushing me to an attack. I was embarrassed to try out again but she went with me and strained her throat cheering for me at try outs.’ I was half smiling, half crying, remembering her little pixie face all lit up with pride, yelling encouragement at me.

‘Let me guess, you were the star of the team and the first one to dunk.’ Alex teased, but she hugged me tight.

‘Nope, I still sucked. I just sucked for longer without giving up.’ I laughed. ‘I wasn’t great at team sports, I was a bit of a loner.’

‘Yeah right.’ Alex laughed until she saw my face. ‘Seriously? But you’re like the heart of floor 19!’

‘Mallory’s the heart of Floor 19, I’m just good at fixing their wounds.’ I shrugged. ‘Come on, you know I’m not great at small talk or anything.’

She looped her arms around my neck and rested our foreheads together, her eyes intense.

‘Your people skills are amazing. I’ve never met anyone so good at easing people’s hearts.’

My mother’s words came back to me. Dating Alex was going to be hard. I didn’t know how to do it. But damn, it was definitely worth it, so I had to keep trying.


	6. Why is always me getting frozen?! (Alex POV)

Three weeks slipped by on a boringly samey note. Sharing a bed was nice and all but I was started to get stressed out by the consistency of the routine. So, even though I’m not usually fussed about Christmas, I was kind of hyped for _anything_ different at that point.

‘Should we have a party?’ I bobbed about the room, barely managing to remember to sign as I talked because Hearth has a hard time reading the lips of a moving target.

 _Might be too much. Very nervous at Christmas._ Hearth signed, frowning.

‘But it’s also something a lot of them probably miss.’ I countered.

 _Too risky._ Hearth glared. He’s particularly difficult for me to argue down because I can’t use persuasive tones on him.

‘Why don’t we just ask the people staying with us if they _want_ a Christmas party? I mean… You’re both right, you know? We can’t know for sure which means most to them until we ask.’ Magnus interjected, signing fluently along to save Hearth effort.

‘Even if we don’t, we should keep the lights burning all night to invite them in… We had _thirty_ one-nighters on Thanksgiving.’ Blitzen smoothed his waistcoat in agitation.

 _I’ll ask._ Hearth signed firmly. _No agenda._ He stomped off, scarf flying out.

‘Have I pissed him off?’ I asked Blitz.

‘You’ve been a bit… Snappy lately. Hearth’s not great with that from his family.’ Blitz shrugged. ‘He just needs a bit of space.’

I glanced at Magnus, expecting him to look confused but he was biting his lip like he agreed.

‘I am _not_ snappy!’ Typically, I ended up snapping that little sentence. (Phrase? I don’t care.)

‘You called TJ a moron for offering you the milk this morning.’

‘I already had milk! How could he not see that?!’ I jumped down from where I’d perched on the filing cabinet. ‘I’m going up to the roof!’

The cold air was soothing but unfortunately I didn’t have the place to myself. Sasha was sitting in one of the lounge chairs, staring at the sky. She’s the youngest kid who’s ever come here; I’m not even sure she’s ten yet. Keiko brought her in this summer, explaining that she’d run away from three foster families and four group homes in one year. She almost never talks so beyond a quick hi, I wasn’t expecting much conversation from her.

‘There was a monster here last night.’ She didn’t look at me at all so she may have been conversing with herself. I decided to answer anyway.

‘Yeah? What kind?’ I made sure not to make eye contact as that tends to send her skittering.

‘Doesn’t matter. It couldn’t get in. This place is safe.’ She sounded so tranquil. ‘I want to stay here forever.’

‘Forever’s a really long time, you know?’ I sighed. ‘You need to change it up sometimes.’

‘I tried changing and the monsters found me anyway. I like here better than always changing.’ She shrugged and hid herself in her thick black hair. Some of the older kids affectionately call her ‘Snow White’ since she fits the whole ‘hair as dark as coal, skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood’ this remarkably well.

‘If the monsters keep bugging you, you tell me and I’ll hunt them down, okay?’ I touched her arm.

‘No! You can’t!’ She looked me full in the face for once, dark eyes full of _way_ too much anguish for such a little kid. ‘Promise you won’t Alex, please, I don’t want to lose you too!’

‘Hey, hey… You’re not losing me. I’ve killed monsters before you know?’ I smiled, letting it go a little savage.

‘Your magic is wrong!’ She wailed.

‘Magic? Sasha do you know-?’ I was cut off by a rush of wind strong enough to send me stumbling, thankfully Sasha had been in some kind of lee, maybe because she was so small. ‘We have to get inside!’

She wasn’t listening. She was in a full blown meltdown and of course a fucking _blizzard_ was descending. I managed to crawl over to her. She wasn’t sheltered at all. _This kid is something else_.

‘Sasha? Sasha, please, come inside with me!’ I hung onto the chair for anchoring but it was in danger of being blown away itself. ‘I promise, I won’t fight the monsters without talking to you first, okay?’

She fell into my arms, sobbing helplessly. Like a switch had been flipped, the crazy winds subsided into heavy snowfall. I was already so cold it took ten minutes of tugging to get the simple latch open and I stumbled inside, having to carry her. She’d gone practically deadweight, limp in my arms. Cold as I was, she still felt like hugging ice.

‘MAGNUS!’ When I called out, my voice was high with panic. I was already too cold to shiver. If she was even colder... ‘BLITZEN! SOMEONE HELP!’

Naturally, when I’m screaming the house down, the deaf elf is the first one to notice. Hearth walked into the library, spotted me holding the unconscious Sasha and sprinted forward. He pulled out his _fehu_ rune and tossed it at our feet, causing a burst of summery warmth. The heat made me sleepy but he shook me sharply and signed an _M_ at me. _Magnus._

Understanding that Hearth wasn’t sure his rune would last out, I kept yelling for help until Magnus appeared in the doorway. He touched my face briefly and I felt the familiar, deep-rooted calm as he knelt next to Sasha and clasped her hands, starting to shine golden.

I’ve seen him heal before, but never his face. It was screwed up with effort, pain flickering across his eyes. It sounds dumb but I’d never realised it was painful for him to see other people’s memories.

Sasha started breathing easily after ten minutes. Magnus smiled once and then fell backwards, his own lips blue with cold. A wave of terror I hadn’t felt since I lost his hand near the _Naglfar_ and didn’t know if the ghosts of Helheim had dragged him off flooded through me.

‘No no no… I did it again… Noooo…’ Sasha, waking up while Hearth and I were distracted by Magnus, was beginning to panic. The winds picked up outside, causing snowfall violent enough to dim the room to only the light of the fire.

‘Sasha!’ I spoke sharply, capturing her attention. ‘Magnus is tougher than you think! He’s going to be fine but you _have_ to calm down!’

She nodded and clung onto my waist, crying again.

 _I will take Magnus, you put Sasha to bed._ Hearth signed. _She trusts you._

I nodded and picked her up. It was difficult; by this age kids are pretty heavy, but I managed to get her to her bedroom. It took an hour to stop her crying, another hour to get her to eat, drink and wash, and a third to settle her to sleep.

‘Promise you won’t fight the monsters tonight?’ She murmured, fighting off slumber even though she was exhausted.

‘I promise I won’t fight them tonight.’ I agreed. She finally smiled and dropped off, cuddling a plush hare I’d never seen before. Blitz must have made it for her.

I crept out of her room and went to Blitzen and Hearthstone’s, hoping that was where Hearth had taken Magnus. It wasn’t and I had to search the mansion, finally tracking him down in the kitchen where he was drinking cocoa with the other two. There was something serious in his face that made me pause before coming in. Call it a bad habit, but I shrank into a little spider and crept into the room.

‘I think she’s already bored with me.’ Magnus sighed, looking downcast.

Hearth replied something I couldn’t see, having not got to the right angle in time.

‘You’ve seen how tense she’s been… It started when we started going out.’

A weird mixture of warmth and hurt flooded me. Warmth because even though I’d deliberately said nothing, Magnus could still tell I was struggling. Hurt because he _still_ couldn’t trust that it wasn’t a matter of not liking _him_ enough.

‘…Kid, can I say something I think pretty much everyone’s wanted to scream at you for a while now?’ Blitzen spoke cautiously, like Magnus might bolt at any moment.

‘Why are you asking when I know you’re going to tell me anyway?’ He grumbled.

Finally finding an angle where I could see all three of their faces, (and Hearth’s hands) I stopped.

‘You have no idea what Alex is like when you’re not around.’ Blitzen shook his head.

 _What the hell is that supposed to mean?!_ I wanted to yell. Since I was eavesdropping, I refrained.

‘What she’s like when I’m not around? How would I know that?’ Magnus asked, pretty reasonably.

 _Never quite happy. Misses you all the time._ Hearth signed, nodding sagely.

‘Yeah… She’s independent, so it’s a subtle thing but… Whatever is eating at her might be about dating you but I don’t think it’s being bored with you. She kind of adores you; I don’t think she even realises how obvious it is that she admires you.’ Blitz chuckled.

I’d always thought the expression ‘I could’ve died of embarrassment’ was ridiculous but now I understood. Mortification so intense I almost lost my spider shape wracked my whole body. I mean… Yeah, I think Magnus is secretly really cool under the dorkiness… but everyone thinks that’s _obvious?!_ I’ve always been great at keeping my feelings under wraps!

‘So what? I can’t just ignore it and hope it gets better…’ Magnus hugged himself and mumbled. ‘I don’t want to lose her now.’

 _Alex_ (By the way, Hearth is such a sweetheart that he has a different way of signing ‘Alex’ for when I’m male to when I’m female, just so I know he’s paying attention.) _is private person. She probably wants to fix it herself. If you play knight in shining armour_ (He actually signed ‘hero’ here but context is very important in sign language.) _too much you’ll be disrespecting her._

Magnus nodded slowly. ‘That’s true… it’s not like I don’t know how capable she is, you know? I just… want to be helpful.’

Blitz and Hearth exchanged glances then.

‘Kid…’ Blitzen sounded wary now. ‘You know… We think it’s great that you’re always helping people out… but you know you don’t owe us that, right? We’re still your family if you decide you need time off or you mess up.’

Magnus blushed to his ears. ‘That’s not- I’m not- It’s just- I’m not that insecure!’ He shot back defensively.

Hearth’s next gesture was a bit harder to interpret. I got the feeling he was trying to convey that Magnus was ‘worthy’ even when he wasn’t trying hard.

‘I just want to be helpful.’ Magnus repeated, hugging himself tightly.


	7. She's got a point about Health and Safety in the camps... (Magnus POV)

When Alex finally came down from Sasha’s room, she was pale and looked exhausted.

‘Want some cocoa?’ I offered, getting up.

Instead of answering, she hurried over and wrapped her arms around me tightly, burying her face in my neck.

‘Lexie? You okay?’ I rubbed her back, feeling a part of her that hadn’t quite warmed through from her chilling earlier.

‘That kid’s not human… I’m thinking probably demigod but beyond that it’s hard to tell… _Sasha_ caused the blizzard… Because she’s scared of monsters… She knows I have magic but thinks it’s the wrong kind to deal with them… The wards your uncle set up are keeping them outside… She ran from all those places because the monsters kept finding her and I think she had an accident with her snow powers…’ Alex let go of me as she spoke, signing along for Hearth.

 _Not good. What did Magnus see?_ Hearth fiddled nervously with his scarf.

Pain and terror flooded me, reminding me of the night I became homeless. ‘Some monsters came to her home… They looked like girls at first but they turned into weird monsters… They charmed her father… She got scared so she used her powers to drive them off… But by the time she calmed down her father had frozen to death…’

There was a quiet moment. Alex buried herself in my shoulder; I don’t know if it was to comfort me or herself. Hearth knocked his empty cup over in frustration, eerily symbolic. Even without magic, the pain he was in was tangible. Blitzen kept shaking his head, struggling to believe it.

 _Mother._ Hearth had to smack the table to get us all to pay attention to his sign.

‘What about mothers?’ I was too raw to think straight.

 _Sasha’s father was weak to her magic. Sasha’s mother is the key to the mystery!_  Hearth nodded vigorously.

‘Did you see anything about her, kid?’ Blitzen prompted.

‘No… It was just her and her father in the memory but there wasn’t anything clear on how normal she thought that was…’ I deflated. ‘Sorry… I know it’s pretty useless but I can’t really control how much detail I get…’

‘Stop that!’ Alex snapped. She kissed me weirdly; she was radiating frustration. ‘Almost anyone with your power would think about using it to get an advantage and read as much as they could… You’ve never even tried to do that. You only take as much information as you can’t help… that’s amazing.’

I flushed. _She’s been weird about that lately… Like she’s trying too hard to find good things to say._

‘Has she ever mentioned her mom to any of you?’ I asked, trying to refocus the subject.

‘Today was the first time I heard more than two words out of her at a time.’ Alex shook her head.

‘I think she’s a bit scared of me…’ Blitz admitted.

 _Sign language hard for her. Doesn’t like talking to me._ Hearth shrugged.

‘Well it’s simple… We’re pretty sure she’s not a giant right? So she must be a demigod.’ Alex pulled away. ‘We can just list all the goddesses who might give someone snow powers and see if she reacts to any of their names.’

‘It’s… not that simple. Annabeth told me there are magicians who aren’t demigods but they can borrow the power of Egyptian gods to use magic… And there’s one who specialises in ice and snow magic… Plus it doesn’t have to be a female goddess… Plenty of gods can reproduce with someone of the same gender.’ I rubbed my head. ‘We don’t even know which Parthenon we’re looking at… And even outside of that, most demigods aren’t placed unless they’re claimed, almost no powers are definitive.’

Alex deflated momentarily.

 _Does it matter?_ Hearth scowled. _She’s happy here. She’s safe here. There’s no reason to force her to go somewhere. No support for Norse demigods, Greek and Roman camps too violent, don’t have any contacts for others. She should stay here. We don’t need to know where her power comes from to help her control it._

It was pretty rare for him to say this much in one go, especially as we were half guessing most of what he said. Seeing us struggle, he even took Alex’s notebook and wrote it out, even though that must have been all kinds of flashback for him.

‘Hearth.’ Alex gently touched his shoulder before going back to signing. ‘I wasn’t thinking we should send her away… I don’t know if Bone Steel works on other kinds of monsters… Sasha herself is afraid my magic was ‘wrong’… I only want to know what kind of magic she has so we can protect her.’

Hearth hugged her briefly. _Sorry. I misunderstood._

‘It’s okay… It must have sounded like we just wanted to make her someone else’s problem.’ Alex smiled the soft smile she only ever wore here.

‘…Okay, I’m not pushing for this but… If she _is_ some kind of demigod, it’s not necessarily true that she has no family. We might be keeping her from a whole bunch of siblings.’ Seeing Alex’s eyes flash, ready to explode, I added hastily. ‘Like you and Sam!’

There was a lull.

‘Magnus is right… We should at least look into stuff so we can give her a choice…’ Blitz sighed.

‘I disagree!’ Alex folded her arms, forgetting to sign. ‘It’s different for Einherjar… We’re already dead! Sasha is a little girl, sending her to one of those places would be dangerous!’

‘They don’t make little kids fight Alex!’

‘Did you listen to _anything_ over Thanksgiving? Those camps get attacked all the time! If we send her there and she gets killed, that’s on us!’ Alex stepped closer, her eyes blazing. ‘Stop acting like a stupid little kid who thinks his big cousin has all the answers! She’s just normal!’

The words stung like falling in acid all over again. I _had_ a counter argument; that I wasn’t talking about sending her away, just finding out if she had a family, that Annabeth had nothing to do with it, but it shrunk in my throat.

_Looks like I’m still not good at handling an ‘alpha’…_

Alex made a huffing noise and swept out, calling over her shoulder. ‘I’m going to sort the laundry.’

I tried to smile and Blitz and Hearth. ‘Sorry about that…’

 _Why didn’t you press your point? I agree with Alex but you weren’t convinced, right?_ Hearth frowned.

I felt my face heat up. ‘She usually only snaps like that when I’m pushing too far.’

 _She doesn’t know how to lose. If you keep giving in, she won’t change._ Hearth shot Blitz a ‘back me up’ look.

‘Hearth’s got a point, kid. Just because she gets mood swings, doesn’t mean it’s okay for her to lay into you like that every time you guys disagree…’ Blitz shuffled a little, like this was something he’d been thinking about for a while.

‘She’s trying to protect a little kid!’

‘She does this a lot… You’re a strong personality Magnus, it’s a little weird seeing you get so meek around Alex.’

Anger and confusion left me tongue-tied all over again. _You’re not understanding because you only see what happens when she hits breaking point. You don’t see her waiting so I have time to talk because I’m not as quick as she is, or letting me break down on him when I can’t carry on, or pushing me to say what I want when I’m trying to hide it. What you’re calling a strong personality was a shell to cover up how scared I was the whole time but I don’t want to hide behind that or I’ll end up like Loki; overflowing with poison and bitterness._

Could I tell them something like that? This wasn’t strangers, it was Blitz and Hearth. They’d protected me for two years, been my friends for five. They were family and they only wanted the best for me…

Hearth tapped my arm for attention and offered a hug.

_Great. I really must look like a dumb, scared kid._

I did hug him though.

He didn’t move for about five seconds, his natural composure seeping into me slowly. _Take your time Magnus._ He signed, unusually slow and careful as if illustrating his point. _We will listen._

I took a deep breath. ‘A lot of that… strength… It was just me talking tough. I don’t really… I don’t really know _who_ I am any more. The Magnus who lived with his mom and played basketball and went hiking is dead. The smooth-talking hero who flyted Loki and delayed Ragnarok is just a story, I was supported by so many people and so much magic. I don’t want to keep living a lie but I don’t want to be weak either. So I get…. Stuck… trying to express myself.’ (Incidentally, some of that was _really_ hard to sign. I hope Hearth got the gist of it.)

‘I feel like that’s more reasons Alex shouldn’t tear you down when you disagree.’ Blitz frowned.

‘Like I said… She only really does that when something else is going on. …Alex and Sam are alike. They don’t let their true colours show easily. If it’s a choice between her not telling me at all that something’s wrong or lashing out to show something’s wrong… I’d sooner she lashed out. Yeah, it hurts being insulted… But thanks to that I know she really has a bad opinion of the demigod camps…’ I frowned. ‘She doesn’t seem to much like Annabeth either. She only brings her up when something’s shaken her.’ Blitz and Hearth were really staring at me now. ‘What?’

 _You got all that from being called an idiot?_ Hearth raised his eyebrows.

I flushed. ‘I just watch her a lot.’

Blitz stifled a laugh. ‘She’ll have me to deal with if she doesn’t find a better way to tell you she’s upset… But it seems like you two communicate better than we thought.’

‘I’m going to find Alex.’ I muttered, not liking their smug smiles. I literally ran into her almost right away, we collided on the stairs.

‘Good. I’m looking for you.’ She grabbed my arm and dragged me off to the library. It was still dim from the blizzard Sasha had caused.

‘How are we going to clean _that_ up?’ I wondered aloud.

‘You aren’t a stupid kid. I’m sorry.’ Alex blurted out, ignoring my musing. She wasn’t looking at me, but I could clearly see she was blushing to the tips of her ears.

_Blitz has a point, she really does hate losing arguments._

And yet… This was like when she came to my room three weeks ago to apologise.

‘Magnus? Accept it or don’t accept it, don’t just space out!’

‘I think, if she has a family, she’ll regret not meeting them.’ I blurted. ‘She misses her father, badly, and I feel like, if she doesn’t find some validation for her powers, she’s going to end up hating herself because they killed him. I don’t know how to give her that… I thought if she had any demigod siblings it would help.’

‘Oh. I didn’t realise you’d thought it through so much.’ Alex sat down by the fireplace. Remembering how cold she’d felt to touch, I sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her.

‘…Did Annabeth do something to you? You always lose your cool when she’s involved.’ I stared at the flames, happy for an excuse not to make eye contact.

‘…I overheard you two on the balcony. I really didn’t mean to that time!’ _What does she mean, ‘that time’?_ ‘I’m pretty sure if it was Annabeth’s decision, you’d be dating someone more normal.’ Alex’s voice softened to a mumble. She glanced up at me, the dancing flames colouring her mis-matched irises the same golden-orange.

‘I love Annabeth… But she’s not the one who decides who I date.’ I pressed a soft kiss to her lips. ‘I love you. I love that you’re changeable and passionate and contrary. I don’t want ‘normal’, Alex Fierro, I want you.’

‘…Bet you’re thinking, ‘how many times do I have to tell her this?’…’ Alex mumbled, blushing.

‘As many times as you need to hear it.’ We both moved in at the same time for a more heated kiss. I could feel that lurch where things could have escalated but we both drew back.

‘We need to decide what we’re doing about Sasha, don’t we?’ Alex sighed.


	8. We solve a mystery but no-one says "Jinkies!"... (Alex POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this one took so long! This was a heck of a busy week! Kudos to Kreacher who called the big reveal! And to ReadMaster15 who was super close!

Three hours, a long phone call to Annabeth and a very experimental rune reading from Hearth later, we sort of had a series of Pantheon narrowing questions.

‘ _Egyptian: Did the magic require staff and incantation to cast? (No)_

_Greek: Can she read Ancient Greek? (TBC)_

_Roman: Can she read Latin? (TBC)_

_Norse: Does she have a runic fate? (Need a better rune reader. Casting skills do not, in fact, transfer well.)_

_Other: No to all the above?’_

After searching Randolph’s library, we’d found samples of old Greek and Latin stuff. It was only when, after I called Sam to see if she knew if there were any Islamic demi-humans, that she suggested something simple:

‘Isn’t it worth asking her first? If she knows none of you are human, she’s not necessarily going to know that you don’t know what she is.’

 _We should have thought of that._ Hearth signed resignedly.

‘Thank you Sam, we’ll try that when she wakes up…’ I sighed.

‘Are you guys managing over there? I can come help out if you can’t…’

‘Won’t your grandparents flip? Is there tutoring in Winter Break?’ I pretended to be reluctant. Sam tries to claim she’s happily retired from the Valkyries. _I_ know she misses it terribly.

‘V-volunteering at a shelter is a worthy activity… I’m sure they’ll understand.’

‘Sure sure… But you don’t have a brother today so no bringing Amir.’ I was still laughing as I hung up.

‘Sam’s coming?’ Magnus looked up from where he was trying to use Google to figure out the Greek and Latin phrases we’d found.

‘Yeah. I think she misses us.’ I grinned.

‘You should stop trying to tease her back into the Valkyries… She had good reasons for wanting to drop out.’ He shook his head but was kind of smiling about it.

‘You know, when you make that face I know for definite you’ll give up if I cute things up a bit right?’ I teased, poking his sides.

‘You always ‘cute things up’.’ He rolled his eyes.

_What._

‘Alex? Are you okay?’

‘Where did that come from?!’ I busied myself putting the books away. _Damn. I blush more hanging out with Magnus than I usually have to in a year…_

‘Oh? So you’re just cute naturally?’ Even without looking I could tell he was smirking.

_WHY IS HE SO CONFIDENT ALL OF A SUDDEN?!_

‘Isn’t that what you bring to the couple?’ I tried to bat it back to him.

‘Yeah? You think I’m cute?’ He deliberately put his head in his hands, tilting it in an imitation of a cutesy anime fanservice pose.

I cracked up laughing.

‘Oh… Am I interrupting?’ Micah peered around the door. He shows up about once a month, usually when he’s getting sick. He’s either a master of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ or really believes you can cure anything with warm milk and honey. (Magnus magics it up.)

‘Nah… We’re just doing a bit of schoolwork.’ I shrugged.

‘Japanese Lit?’ He quipped.

‘Okay, at this precise moment we’re flirting instead of working…’ I admitted.

‘Don’t mind me then… I’m just looking for the Winnie the Pooh books.’ He shuffled over, stifling a cough.

‘I’ll make you a drink.’ Magnus got up and padded off.

‘Oh… That’s wrong by the way.’ Micah tapped our homemade Latin translation.

‘What now?’

‘I bet you used Google, right? You made a typo that it wouldn’t pick up… You must have put in _acervus_ , which is shock, but you meant _acerbus_ which is bitter.’ He rubbed his forearm as he spoke.

_Oh… Just how many demigods have we attracted here?!_

‘Yeah? You’re a natural at Latin then?’ I put significant emphasis on the words.

‘You could say that.’ He smiled wistfully. ‘We all have our skeletons right?’

‘Just don’t harass the others and we’re cool.’ I patted his shoulder. ‘…Hey, anyone here you… recognise?’

‘Only from Boston.’ He shrugged. ‘But I’ve lived here a long time.’

‘Thanks Micah… You know you can stick around after you recover.’

‘I do know. Thank you Alex… But I don’t really like staying in one place too much… I’m going to leave Boston in the spring… So if this is for someone else who’s a natural… You can send them my way.’

‘I will.’

We sat in silent understanding for a moment after that, until Magnus came back with a mug of warm milk, honey and _alf seidr_ and the big bad demigod soldier padded away in fuzzy slippers to drink his milk and read Winnie the Pooh. (What has my life become?)

‘So, we’re trying Sam’s plan first?’ Magnus handed me a drink too. (Hot apple cordial with cinnamon.)

‘It’s our best bet… Although whether she has any other family or not, this still might be the best place for her.’ I kinda wanted to tell him about Micah, choosing homelessness in a Boston winter over life in New Rome, but that wasn’t my place.

‘Yeah, it probably is.’ He agreed surprisingly.

‘If you think that, why are we going nuts trying to find out who she is?!’ I elbowed him gently.

‘Well… For starters it affects the monsters she attracts… You said yourself; we don’t know if bone steel does anything to other monsters… Plus she needs positive associations for her powers… She’s more like Sam’s type than yours, she hates it and feels like it makes her monstrous… I thought a confident sibling could help her with that…’ He sipped his own mug. (No clue on the contents. Magnus changes beverages more than I change clothes.)

‘Are you saying _I’m_ the one who gave you this cockamamie idea?’ I laughed out loud.

He joined in, nudging me companionably.

‘Miss Modesty… You’re the example but originally it was a gut feeling from being inside her head. She hates her powers and herself for having them… Even if it turns out her godly parent is literally the embodiment of Ragnarok, we need to help her with that.’

Our light mood sank like a lead balloon.

‘Okay, that makes sense.’ I admitted, leaning on him. ‘Why didn’t you say that earlier?’

‘Because you accused me of only thinking it because Annabeth would say Sasha should go to one of the camps… I couldn’t really gather my wits to reply.’ His voice was so low I was only half sure he’d meant me to hear it.

‘Magnus…’ I touched his hand. ‘I… I’m…’

‘You already apologised, so it’s okay.’ He smiled again, frighteningly convincing for the impression _nothing was wrong in the first place_. ‘I just… Didn’t want to be cowardly about it.’

‘You should yell at me back sometimes!’ I sighed. ‘Don’t always let me off easy.’

‘I don’t know… it’s kind of fun watching you beat yourself up over it.’ He quipped.

_Hmm… Is it against the principle of this discussion if I smack him?_

Before I’d solved this important debate, Magnus began talking again.

‘You don’t ever just do it, you know? I had no idea until you snapped like that how badly you thought of the demigod camps… If I stop you snapping, I feel like it’s just going to end with you not telling me at all.’

Something crumpled up in my chest then. I know people have loved me before and aside from Magnus. I just don’t think anyone’s ever wanted to understand me so much they’d take being yelled at. They give up because it’s ‘too hard’. Even I don’t always bother trying to translate what I’m doing! Magnus though…

‘You’re really ace at this boyfriend thing, you know? I feel like I have to up my game!’ I laughed just a touch too hard.

‘Okay we’ll get to the reassuring bit in a moment… I’m pretty ‘ace’ am I?’ His grey eyes danced, almost blue in the cold snowy light.

‘I stand by it.’ I insisted.

‘An ace can be the best or worst depending on that situation!’

‘That’s why it’s a good description!’ I retorted, shaking my head.

‘ALEEEEEEEEEEEX!’ A small, black haired blur tackled me, clinging onto my waist. ‘You were gone!’

_Oh heck._

‘I just came to read some books, Sash.’ I patted her back awkwardly.

_What am I going to do if she develops separation anxiety? I can’t bring her to Dragon-Day!_

‘I thought you broke your promise and fought the monsters… Alex tells lots of stories.’ She peeked up at me, her eyes dark and troubled.

‘Hey… Sasha? You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to… but do you know your mom’s name?’ Magnus asked, voice gentle and calming.

‘…I’m not supposed to say…’ Sasha clutched me.

‘That’s okay then… We only wanted to know what kind of monsters were outside and thought knowing about your mom could help, but we can put up extra barriers without knowing.’ He was quick to reassure her, the definition of a warm personality.

I was at a loss as to other ways to make her feel better about her powers.

‘Bet you got sick of people raving about the movie _Frozen_ , huh?’ I suggested eventually, hoping to get her to open up.

‘Ugh. So unrealistic… Gloves don’t help cover it up at all and only someone with really strong magic could heal the freezing with a kiss… And the kiss is irrelevant in the first place!’ She huffed.

 _She said nothing about the sentient snowmen, Does that mean they_ are _realistic to her?!_

‘I get it… when I watched _Sword in the Stone_ I was annoyed that Merlin could change other people too.’ I nodded, trying to look wise.

‘ _You_ can do magic Alex?!’ Sasha looked up at me like a goddess incarnated.

‘Of a sort… Watch this.’ I transformed into a little black cat and wound around her ankles, mewing.

Sasha gasped in delight. ‘Change me!’

I changed back. ‘Weren’t you listening? That’s the unrealistic part… To change yourself as much as they did in the duel, Madam Mim and Merlin must have been natural shapeshifters, but shapeshifters can’t change other people.’

‘That sucks… What about him?’ She pointed at Magnus who flushed and looked ready to hide. I seized the chance to boost him up too.

‘His powers are super cool… He can heal almost anything just by touching you and make it warm no matter what.’

Sasha laughed and laughed. I mean, I hoped I would make her smile but this seemed a bit excessive.

‘My mom would hate that!’ She finally announced, once she could breathe again. She swung her legs, weighing up what she could trust us to know. (It felt familiar some how…) ‘She hates anything warm or summery and she hates healing magic.’

‘Yeah… That makes sense… If you have ice powers, she’s probably some kind of wintery goddess, right?’ I probed further.

She nodded. ‘Yes… It’s supposed to be a secret but I can tell you I think… Her name is Khione… She’s the most beautiful snow goddess in the whole world!’ Sasha beamed.

I might not be telepathic but in that moment I knew Magnus and I were thinking the same thing: _Why such a violent, cruel goddess for such a sweet little girl?!_

 


	9. I mean it IS pretty chaste but... (Magnus POV)

Khione… It wasn’t exactly _good_ news but it simplified things. Sasha had no demigod siblings, no positive stories to learn that would improve her self-esteem and the kind of power and maternal reputation that would make most of Camp Half Blood wary. She was staying and we were finding another way to deal with that dark knot of self-loathing in the back of her mind.

I was musing on this one of the times I was walking to Chase Space on my own.

 _‘You could always take her out to fight monsters Se_ _ñor.’_ Jack suggested. _‘Then she saves your butt, thinks ‘Wow! My powers are super sparkly!’ and tada!’_

‘Super sparkly?’ I tried not to laugh.

_‘She’s a little girl, right?’_

‘Have you been watching the Powerpuff girls or something?... Anyway, not the point. Sasha’s a kid, we don’t want her getting into fights.’ I muttered.

 _‘Demigods have to fight to survive Se_ _ñor… Especially that kind. Their lives are wild, one time Frey was getting chatted up by a hot blond with a_ huge _ego_ _and he was all ‘Ohhh my kids can slay minotaurs’, ‘My kids can see the future’, ‘We’re both such amazing healers, don’t you want to see what we can make together?’… Luckily I am the_ best _wingman in the biz. I just kept talking over him until he stopped spouting poetry and stormed off.’_

At first I thought Jack had gone off on a tangent until the poetry/healing/blond/future combo clicked in my head.

‘Jack… Was my dad _chatted up by Apollo?!’_

 _‘Yeah Se_ _ñor… Frey’s really popular you know? It’s the rugged good looks and nice-guy persona, it just_ melts _people, if he’d been a little more open to wingmaning himself we could have scored all over the Nine Realms and beyond!’_

‘Sorry, I’m not much of a wingman either…’

‘ _It’s okay Señor, I grew out of that phase-’_

 _This is Jack_ grown out _of his flirty phase?!_

_‘Yes it is! Anyway, like I was saying… All those centuries on a muddy riverbank gave me time to think. I prefer being with you to the party life that Frey never indulged with me.’_

‘That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me, Jack.’ I was feeling all warm and fuzzy; which was just as well as the next thing I knew I was being flung across the street and slammed into the pavement by a blast of wind so arctic that it stole my breath away. I flashed back to Niflheim.

‘If you ever bring your insidious heat near my daughter again, I’ll freeze you into a statue and smash you on the roof of your precious ‘Chaste Space’!’ A cold voice hissed in my ear before the uncommonly strong winds vanished, leaving me gasping for air and too numb to move.

_Okay Magnus, calm down… She said ‘daughter’ so that was probably Khione… And she got the name wrong, so she probably doesn’t know you’re connected to Annabeth, yet, but you need to find a subtle way to communicate…_

_‘I can do that Señor!’_

_You can Jack?!_

_‘Sure, I’ll send a message out to Cutie, who can tell Reyna, who can tell Annabeth, simple.’_

I was lost for a moment until I remembered that Jack had tried to teach a crash course in speaking to your weapons to Reyna, Hazel and Nico at Annabeth’s thanksgiving sleepover. Reyna’s spear-sword had turned out to be named Percutio and by the logic that they couldn’t be Percy thanks to Percy Jackson (Jack had taken the lesson on why he couldn’t be Magnus to heart), they’d ended up going by Cutie. (In Jack’s mind at least. I had a feeling Reyna would be using Percutio.)

_You can get a message to Cutie?_

_‘Sure, weapons have their own network.’_

As I often did with Jack’s social life, I opted into the ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ mentality.

_Thanks Jack._

By now, my natural healing/warming factor had kicked in enough for me to get up. I was a little unsteady but managed to reach Chase Space.

_Should I warn the others?_

_‘Why wouldn’t you tell them Señor?’_

_Khione was only threatening_ me… _Because my powers contradict hers. If anything, Sasha might be safer if her godly mother’s watching out for her and nobody else should get attacked…_

_‘Then how are you going to explain the dirt?’_

_Umm… I tripped?_

I wasn’t sure how bad the dirt Jack was describing was until Hearth spotted me, turned pale and ran over, signing so agitatedly that I was basically guessing from context he was asking what happened.

‘I fell.’ I tried to sound nonchalant.

Hearth looked at me incredulously, grabbed my arm and bodily dragged me upstairs.

Blitz turned to greet us and dropped a basket of laundry. ‘Magnus! What the hell happened to you?’ He rushed over, taking out one of his silk handkerchiefs and wiping the side of my face. Black grit and dried blood came off, thanks to the incredible self-and-other cleaning fibres Blitzen had developed. (Ideal for the adventurer who wants to stay fresh over a long journey.)

‘I slipped on some ice, didn’t managed to catch myself and took a bit of a spill… All the grazes healed on their own so I didn’t think of it as much of a big deal…’ I bluffed.

‘That’s just it… You’re still bruised… For them to be this dark now and you to have healed big enough scrapes to bleed that much… How hard did you go down?’ Blitz looked really freaked now.

‘I was running, since it was getting late… Probably pretty hard…’

‘Hey, Blitzen, have you seen- Magnus!’ Alex rushed over, a blur of red and white. (Apparently she was back on the Christmas theme, although I’d never considered steampunk Santa before. It worked.)

‘Hey.’ I tried to smile. The explosion of pain on the left side of my head clued me in to why Blitz and Hearth were freaking out so bad.

‘You look like you’ve been tossed around by a giant!’ She took my right side and helped me get to a sofa.

‘He says he slipped on some ice.’ Blitz sighed.

Alex’s eyes narrowed dangerously. ‘ _Really_.’

I squirmed under her piercing gaze. ‘Kinda.’

‘Jack… Didn’t you say you owed me from Thanksgiving?’

Jack materialised and wavered between us. ‘This is so unfair… I can’t choose between you!’

A rush of annoyance flooded me. ‘Don’t you think I’d tell you if I thought it was something you needed to know? I thought part of this relationship was knowing when the other person needs space!’

Alex turned crimson, clashing horribly with her steampunk santa outfit. I braced myself for the inevitable explosion but she just turned on her heel and ran out.

‘If you made her cry, Loki might send you a Christmas present.’ Jack remarked.

‘Not just now Jack.’ Blitzen shook his head, signing _badly timed joke_ to Hearth.

Hearth shook his head and took over helping me clean up. By the time we were done, the bruising was muted.

‘Okay… I better get to work. I’m on kitchen tonight, right?’ I hurried down, not giving them time to try and ask tactful questions. I’m not exactly an amazing cook and a lot of our visitors prefer to cook for themselves or take food up to their rooms but some of them enjoy eating with people, especially the ones who haven’t been homeless long. They want the cosy home feeling they didn’t get before, although they usually only last a week or two before blowing up about how phony it all is. Others go Stepford, being perfectly grateful, perfectly helpful until they drop a single plate or spill some juice and freak out thinking they’re going to be beaten or cast aside. Then you get kids like me, who had a happy home life with a small but loving family they lost and they usually end up in tears the first time something reminds them of their real home.

I made a huge mountain of mashed potatoes and grilled enough sausages to feed a small army. We had a newcomer tonight; a wiry girl with wolfish eyes who bolted her food and vanished without a word. I didn’t push, if she wanted more than a safe bed and a meal she’d stick around and if she didn’t… well, at least she got what she needed. I knocked on the door of the room she’d claimed after dinner was over.

‘Hey, Jane? I’ve been going around with leftovers, do you want any?’

She opened the door a crack, stared at me intently for a solid three minutes, then her hand darted out, took the plate and slipped it inside, shutting me out. _That’s encouraging. She might stick around long enough to lose that cough._

Now that we’d both had time to cool off, I went looking for Alex.

_‘Are you going to tell her the truth this time Señor?’_

‘I don’t know yet. I don’t want her to freak.’ I muttered.

_‘Khione earned the title Ice Queen. I don’t think you can assume she won’t go for anyone else.’_

Jack’s words lingering in my head, I found Alex on the rooftop patio again. She’d shovelled all the snow away and was now staring out toward the river, wrapped in a blanket.

‘Hey… Can we talk?’ I asked quietly.

‘Up to you, you’re the one who called for space.’ She shrugged.

‘I’m sorry… I wasn’t ready to talk.’ I climbed out to join her. Notably, she did _not_ offer me any blanket.

‘I get that.’ She sighed, still looking troubled.

‘Something on your mind?’ I stared at the river too, saving her having to compose her face.

‘I don’t like having to change for someone else’s sake, but I always thought I could do it easily if I chose to.’ All I could see of Alex was her feet, both of which were kicking out in agitation. ‘Turns out it’s not that easy?’

‘What are you trying to change?’ I leaned on my hands.

‘A lot.’ She threw some blanket over me and kept quiet for a couple of minutes. Eventually she added: ‘I don’t really like how much like my mom I am sometimes.’

‘Really? You always seemed pretty confident you’d made it your own.’

‘Things like the wire and my shape-shifting, yeah… But other stuff I only noticed lately.’ She tucked her feet into the blanket, hiding them away. ‘Like how easily I can tear people up with words. I thought I had that tamed but actually it happens a lot in times I regret.’

I thought about her recent pattern of blowing up and coming back apologetic, and the fight she’d had with Sam that I’d never actually found out properly about. ‘I get that but… I don’t think shutting off it going to help you either…’

‘It’s still better than hitting out… Especially as I’m going to stay wired for a while…’ I could feel her deliberating so I reached out and squeezed her hand.

‘Anything I can do to help with that?’

‘I..’ Her voice cracked slightly. This time I couldn’t keep looking away but luckily she wasn’t actually crying. ‘I like dating you. But I don’t really like how… structured it’s become. Every day we wake up in the same bed, go to breakfast, train, come here and work, go back to Valhalla and go to your room to watch tv, maybe make out and then go to bed together… It feels like I’m going stiff.’

 _Oh._ I didn’t really know what to suggest to that. Spend less time together?

‘So I’m kinda… Stuck. I don’t know if I want to change my situation or adapt to it… And I don’t know if I can do either.’ She groaned.

‘What do you mean?’ I managed to ask.

‘It’s not just with you, you know? Sasha’s really getting attached to me and the thought of trying to promise her something like coming every day is making me want to scream… At least I can ask you to leave me alone, she’s just a little kid and I’m the one she’s decided to open up to… And now I’m wondering… How many of these kids held back from being regulars because I got them to open up but didn’t follow through? How much have I fucked this up and not noticed?’ She hugged her knees, hiding her face and a muffled voice came out. ‘I don’t know what to do.’


	10. I buy some time with a silver tongue (Alex POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a chapter a week is probably a more realistic update rate for me right now as things have gotten very busy. Don't worry though; it's not a matter of waning interest, just a matter of less time to write!

Magnus wrapped himself around me, flooding me with warmth. ‘Alex… I can’t answer for anyone else… But I don’t think any of those kids opened up to you because they expected you to be there every single day… All that matters is you’re there when it counts; whether you have to break out of a hotel or spend three hours crouching by a bedside. …Yeah, I’m worried about Sasha getting attached but not because of your personality… Just because we’re… y’know… dead.’

I couldn’t help it then. I laughed. When I looked up from it, Magnus was smiling his lop-sided wry smile, drawing that beautiful contrast between his golden-boy face and his lone-wolf eyes.

‘I don’t know if you’re right… But your faith in me is comforting.’ I tipped my head back, watching the snow beginning to drift from the clouds. ‘Something else is bugging me though…’

‘You sound surprised.’

‘Well yeah, I’m a bit self-absorbed, I was so busy flipping out over my shit I missed the huge obvious question…’ I drew the blanket tighter. ‘That attack you described sounded like a trio of empousa. Empousa caused trouble for a teenaged Percy Jackson; combat natural and child of the ‘Big Three’… So how come one little pre-pubescent girl froze them to death on her own?’

All the colour drained out of Magnus’ face. ‘Because she’s never been alone… She doesn’t run from the monsters, the monsters tell her who’s coming-!’

‘Okay, as delightfully creepy as this is, what do you mean exactly?’ I chatted casually but my fingers closed around my garotte.

‘Her mom always steps in… That knot of self-loathing is exactly like Sam’s used to be, hating a part of yourself that reminds you of a person!’ Magnus was gabbling now but I was only half listening. When he said _‘Her mom_ always _steps in_ ’ something clicked in my brain. Of course a stupid ice slip isn’t enough to make a son of Frey a banged up mess. A goddess though? That’s not even effort.

‘We need to get inside, don’t we?’ I cut him off.

He nodded and tried to wrench open the hatch. Naturally, it was frozen shut.

‘For the record, if we die here, I get to spend our second afterlife berating you for not telling me about this. This _so_ falls into need-to-know territory.’ I muttered. Then I raised my voice and called out persuasively. ‘Hey Khione… Let me guess… Concerned motherly chat? I don’t blame you, your daughter’s adorable… Would you mind coming out here and sharing your thoughts on her situation?’

She appeared in a blast of ice and snow. My first instinct was to throw her off the roof for attacking Magnus but my brain helpfully pointed out that would accomplish nothing but pissing her off. My second thought was ' _Well, that explains where Sasha gets her looks.’_ Khione looked exactly like some creepy stalker had imagined a grown up Sasha, built her in snow and brought her to some semblance of life. She was stunning but… lifeless. There was no warmth or animation in her face or hands, if she hadn’t been moving she might as well have been a sculpture. Third thought was when the realisation that Magnus and I were trapped on the roof with a psychotic goddess who might have murdered her former lover because she couldn’t be bothered targeting the Empousa directly. Ironically, just as I’m musing on the dubious benefits of being Loki’s daughter, I come into a situation where I need them.

‘I told _you_ to keep your insidious heat away from my daughter.’ Khione hissed, her dark eyes narrowed to chips of polished graphite.

‘In my defence, I thought you meant ‘Don’t heal her again’ not ‘Don’t see her again’… It was an honest miscommunication.’ Magnus held up his hands. _Seriously? You’ll punch a giant over a falafel sandwich but this bitch tossing you around is fine?!_

‘You _are_ heat, son of Frey… Your influence dispels winter and teaches people to loathe it’s melancholia and darkness!’ The winds around her began to swirl, biting at my skin even through the blanket and thick clothes.

‘Yes he is… And that heat is what’s keeping your daughter safe. This is a haven, blessed by gods Ma’am, it’s one of the few places she can grow up unharmed… You’ve been too busy since she was born, haven’t you? You can’t take your eyes off her for a second.’ I paused, gauging her reaction.

‘What are you?’ She narrowed her eyes.

_That could mean a lot of things bitch._

‘I’m Alex Fierro… Sasha told me about the monsters. They scare her a lot… And that’s why she kept getting moved, right? You save her from monsters but mortals… They’re so stupid, they blame poor Sasha and throw her away!’

The frozen gale subsided into snowfall. Khione nodded, shifting uncomfortably.

_Okay, this is her first demigod kid, born right before two big demigod wars… She probably pretty much agrees, I just need to get her to accept us as guardians…_

‘When we realised she was a Greek demigod we talked about some allies we have down the coast… But they raise children into soldiers! That sweet little girl doesn’t belong there, where they’ll teach her that her magic is too “risky” and she should focus on a sword or something.’ I shook my head, acting like I was half talking to myself.

Khione nodded again, more obviously this time.

‘You aren’t like the others of your Pantheon… You must know plenty about Norse magic, it comes from the land of ice and snow… An observing woman like you, understands it all right?’ I smiled at her now, my mom’s charming, disarming _aren’t I the only one on your side_ smile.

‘Of course I do! Impudent child!’ She bristled.

_Excellent, she’s got no clue._

‘So you understand that without Magnus activating the blood magic, the protection on this place fails? I mean, with your power that would be irrelevant… But an important goddess like you, can she really spend all her time here?’ I sighed. ‘I mean… We can’t even get a minor one here… I can’t imagine you can be spared.’

‘My child is more important… But if she can be otherwise protected…’ Khione clearly wasn’t talking to me so I feigned ignorance and carried on.

‘You see monsters are creatures of extremes… As long as we have a son of Frey to bring his father’s blessing, this place is intolerable to them… If Magnus stays away, I’m afraid this place will become yet another battleground.’ I put my arm around Magnus, who was starting to shimmer. Immediately, warmth flooded through me, dispelling the chill from the snow.

‘Very well. But if my daughter loses her freeze, your gods will not save you son of Frey, guardian of Chaste Space!’ Khione hissed and disappeared in a flurry of snow.

‘Chaste Space?’ I raised an eyebrow.

‘Just go with it… I hope I can melt the hatch open…’ Magnus crouched down and laid his hands on the rim.

‘And you complain Frey powers aren’t cool.’ I sat next to him as he worked, both of us in silent agreement that we’d wait until safely inside to talk. Magnus stayed quiet until we were by the fireside and exploded with delight.

‘You were incredible!’

‘And you thought the thanes were unreasonable for not wanting to let a child of Loki speak.’ I grinned.

‘I will never doubt the wisdom of that again… She completely thought she called that shot!’

‘First rule; people like to do what they want. You don’t manipulate their actions, manipulate their desires.’ I shrugged, deflating slightly. ‘I know I can use it for good, but it’s kind of a sucky power.’

‘You can say that because you’ve always had it… From someone who always struggled… communicating, I guess, it looks pretty incredible.’ He drew closer and kissed my cheek, causing a rush of unexpected warmth.

‘You better not be complimenting me to get out of talking about you _not mentioning_ you got _attacked by a goddess_.’ I warned him, trying and failing not to blush.

‘Oh trust me, I’m not expecting to get out of it… but you _talked down a psycho goddess_ … That’s a big deal too.’ Magnus shifted, hugging his knees. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I thought it would be a one time thing and… I probably would have figured out that was a bad call later but I didn’t get time.’

‘We could have had like two hours to prepare… But I do get it.’ I sighed. ‘It becomes real once you tell someone.’

‘Honestly, I’m a little surprised you’re not mad.’

‘I switched all that off. Didn’t have a choice, I needed to concentrate and honestly this was probably a short term fix… I should be furious but all I can think about is I could have lost you forever.’ The words slipped out before I could check them, unbearably cloying and sappy.

Magnus chameleon-ed himself into a tomato. Even his neck was bright red.

‘Well, that was probably the lamest, clingiest thing I’ll ever say.’ I tried to brush it off breezily.

‘…Is it? Lame, I mean.’ Magnus took a deep breath. ‘Okay, I know you’re trying not too but if you need me to stop ‘Fuck off’ is fine right now… I know this… routine couple stuff is getting to you but I don’t want to go back to not having any plans and sometimes not being alone together for three weeks. And when I thought that my stupid keeping-my-mouth shut was about to get you killed… The only thing I ever felt guiltier about was when Fenris had my mom killed just to get to me.’

‘WHAT THE HELL?!’ A cold rush of shock and horror almost poleaxed me. ‘I just thought it was standard demigod monster attraction… She was premeditatively murdered?!’

‘I never told you that?’ Magnus ran a hand through his hair, visibly falling apart and pretending he wasn’t. ‘Yeah… It was bad enough when I thought she died in my place… Knowing that she was actually the target all along and I was just to ‘make me strong’… It messed me up for a bit.’

We stopped talking for a while, hanging on to each other. A _lot_ of Magnus stuff made more sense now. Even stuff like the wolf phobia and the not ever wanting to risk his friends that made enough sense before that I’d never questioned them.

‘What’re we going to do? We have a nutty goddess who could come back any day, we’re apparently becoming a demigod beacon and we still don’t know if we’re having a Christmas party!’ Magnus threw his hands up.

‘Well, first of all, I think the Christmas  party can slide this time in light of the near death experiences… Chase Space doesn’t _need_ to worry about the demigod thing. You opened this place so that anyone who needed it could come and be safe and that’s what it does… Fuck knows about the Khione thing though.’ I slid off the chair onto the rug to think.

‘Ask Halfborn? He’s been in Valhalla the longest, maybe there’s like… an invading goddess contingency plan?’

‘We’re Viking warriors Magnus, the contingency plan is probably fight the goddess!’

‘Ask Leo and Piper? They faced her before…’ Magnus threw the blanket down to me.

‘Runs the risk of outing Sasha… They might have some legal right to seize demigods.’ I shivered.

‘Hey _Señor_ and… I wanna say _Señorita_?’ Jack appeared. ‘Now I’m normally the last guy to suggest this… But this is kinda _exactly_ when you should talk to Frey.’


	11. Steampunk Santa Striptease (Magnus POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for mentions of suicide and nudity

‘No.’

‘But _señor-_ ’

‘Not happening Jack!’ I got up and began to pace. I’d always loved the library in a way that nothing else in Randolph’s home appealed to me but now I just wanted to get out. Except I couldn’t because the psycho ice goddess could change her mind at any time.

‘Magnus… I… _never_ have the option of asking my parents for help and neither does Hearth. I know you and Blitzen aren’t on the best terms with yours… But it _is_ an option.’ Alex spoke softly. He fidgeted uncomfortably with his skirt as he did. (I’d never seen him get caught in a dress as a boy; I was a little surprised it bothered him.)

‘…You said it yourself, godly help always comes with a price.’ I sighed. ‘It’s like… right now, my dad’s in that grey area where he hasn’t ever asked anything ridiculous of me. I don’t want to push that.’

‘Frey _is_ one unreasonable dude…’ Jack agreed, drooping miserably. ‘But you aren’t going to keep a goddess out of here any other way…’

‘Can he even help?’ I argued. ‘God and goddess are basically on the same level, it’s not like Frey is a higher order of magnitude.’

‘Mags, just having a strain of his powers lets _you_ last against fire and ice deities… Yeah, you probably couldn’t stack Frey up against Nemesis and expect him to have an advantage but Khione’s different… if she’s wary of you, Frey would definitely be a problem for her.’ Alex came up and placed his hands on my shoulders. ‘Look, this is your call… But I can’t just _not_ persuade you when this could get you killed!’

I caught him gently around the waist and pulled him closer. ‘I’m okay.’

‘You could have not been!’ Alex put his face against my neck. ‘I just- _I’m_ not okay with you getting tossed around like that!’

‘Alex-’

‘No. Don’t even try with the whole, self-depreciating “It wasn’t that bad.” Crap… Think about how you’d feel if me, Sam, Blitz, Hearth, Mallory or TJ walked in with half our face swelled up… Fair enough, for Halfborn that’s just a fun Friday night.’ Alex hissed.

My arms tightened on their own, like that would seriously help in a goddess attack.

‘See?! Your heart rate just damn tripled thinking about it!’ Alex pulled back far enough to look me in the eyes, his mismatched ones burning intensely. ‘I _saw_ it Magnus. I saw a guy who bounces back from being eaten by a _dragon_ in a couple of hours walk in looking like he’d lost a back alley boxing match. I was fucking terrified… We can’t _not_ have a plan for this, Frey or no Frey just hoping for the best ISN’T AN OPTION!’

‘I’m sorry… Let’s talk to Blitz, Hearth and Sam… See what they think the best way to handle it is. If everyone agrees we talk to my dad… I’ll do it.’ Any remaining reluctance melted away when Alex’s face crumpled for a moment in relief. He ducked his head to mask his expression right after but it was still there.

‘Don’t forget, my vote is ‘for’ _señor_!’ Jack added.

‘I’ll call Sam over, you go get Blitz and Hearth?’ Alex suggested, looking calmer.

‘Sure… Want me to bring you some pants too?’ I offered.

‘Please…’ Alex frowned to himself.

‘I’ll guard the room.’ Jack offered. Since this saved me having to explain a floating, talking sword to Sasha and any other demigods we’d attracted, I didn’t argue.

I found Hearth in the office, frowning at the computer. I tapped his shoulder gently.

‘What are you doing?’ I asked.

 _I’m looking up schools nearby. If we’re getting younger kids we can’t deliberately not educate them._ Hearth explained, looking paler than usual.

‘It’s been pretty dim lately… have you used your tanning bed?’ I frowned.

 _Not for a few days… Late nights._ Hearth shrugged sheepishly.

‘Look… I can’t explain here but could you and Blitz come to the library? I was on the roof with Alex and things got kind of intense… I really need advice… Oh, and Alex needs pants, do we have spares?’ I explained as much as I could without proclaiming a goddess attack to the whole household. I must have conveyed it pretty well because Hearth’s jaw dropped. He nodded mechanically and rushed off, waving his long limbs like a river-dancing spider.

I went and found the spare pants and one of the sweaters Blitz donated and headed back to the library. At first I couldn’t spot Alex, but I heard his voice, catching Sam up on everything. I followed it through the bookshelves and waved so he didn’t feel snuck up on.

‘Okay, Mags is back now and I want to change… See you soon… Love you too.’ Alex smiled as he hung up. ‘You angel, you even got the good ones.’

My cheeks heated up. ‘I just tried to guess which ones looked like you’d wear them… Why don’t you keep spare stuff here?’

Alex didn’t answer at first, hastily stripping out of his cute steampunk santa dress. I looked away, feeling awkward. I mean, I _have_ seen him naked before but… I guess it’s different when he’s not inviting it.

‘I don’t like being weird about this.’ A lean bare arm snaked past me to take the clothes. ‘Some days it doesn’t matter, I can be a boy in a dress, a girl in a tux, whatever… But sometimes dressing different makes me feel like I want to tear my skin off to make it fit right.’ His voice shook slightly. I knew Alex’s father had forced him to an all-boys school. He didn’t need to say more.

‘Touch or no touch?’

‘I thought you’d never ask.’ At first I though Alex was joking but he seriously bolted forward as I turned. I held him close, a little awed at how someone so strong could feel so fragile. A neatly folded slip of green silk distracted me to a different question.

‘Al… Are you commando right now?’

‘…I wanted to wear cute underwear this morning. I didn’t know that by afternoon it would piss me off.’ He groaned softly, leaning his weight on me.

‘I guess I never thought about that.’ I admitted.

‘Why would you? You’re a guy all the time, you’ve never suddenly felt something flick and your whole body and outfit are wrong.’ He sighed softly. ‘You didn’t make a dirty joke about women’s underwear or tell me to just stick it out until we got home, that’s the best anyone’s ever done.’

‘Really? I thought you hung out with people who understood this stuff when you were alive.’ _Like Adrian._ A jealous little voice added.

‘None of them could shapeshift. For them… Enduring that dysphoria was part of life, they were sympathetic but the notion that I couldn’t stand it because I usually don’t have to endure… It wasn’t something I could explain.’ He spoke calmly enough but raw agony radiated out of him and he pressed himself closer.

‘Alex…’

‘…Look this time okay? I need you to know but I can’t talk about it.’ He muttered, nails digging into me.

‘I don’t know if I can but…’ I brushed back his hair and pressed my lips to his temple, trying to ease the knot of pain in his chest. The memory was sickeningly clear, told in snapshots. Alex and Adrien’s relationship, the first time he’d realised Alex could shapeshift, his last words, the suicide…

 _‘I’m not like you. I can’t make things better just by being around.’_ Now I knew what that had meant.

‘Al…’

He shook his head, silently pleading not to talk about it. I held him as he trembled and cried, wondering how many more times we’d be doing this before we were able to live with our losses.

‘Ah… Okay, okay, I think I can guess what happened here… But don’t worry, I’m sure we can help… Somehow…’ Blitz had come up behind us. He and Hearth looked super freaked out.

‘That’s good.’ I tried to sound normal, buying Alex time to compose himself. ‘I mean if it came to a fight I’m pretty sure she could kill me… And I’m worried about her going after the rest of you too.’

‘…How badly did you screw this up Magnus?!’ Blitz looked shocked.

_Wow. Harsh!_

‘I was just trying to help out! I didn’t realise she meant I shouldn’t get anywhere close to her!’ I protested.

‘Oh heck, I thought it was just an issue of doing it badly, not doing it at all.’ Blitz looked worriedly at Hearth.

 _Magnus, I think there’s been a mistake._ Hearth signed at me, looking perplexed.

‘What? You guys _are_ here to talk about the snow goddess, right?’ _I mean, what did they_ think _we were talking about?_

They both looked flustered. Blitz cleared his throat. ‘Right. That’s not what I was expecting- YOU GOT ATTACKED BY A GODDESS?!’ He suddenly roared, loud enough to make Alex, Jack and me all jump.

‘Yeah… Sasha’s mom is a snow goddess, she’s worried I’m a bad influence and she might have attacked all of Sasha’s previous homes to kill any monsters on her trail but also at least Sasha’s dad and maybe some other guardians in the process.’ I explained quickly.

‘She attacked Magnus on the way here and then again on the roof… I managed to talk her down but if she changes her mind we could be in a horrible position.’ Alex added. He was calm enough to talk at least but his left hand was clenched on my sweater. I rubbed his back as he spoke.

 _Magnus! You idiot!_ Hearth signed angrily, smacking the signs so violently they suggested profanity in there too.

‘Why is Magnus an idiot?’ Sam hurried in, taking off her peacoat.

I repeated the whole story from the beginning, this time covering all the details. By the end of it, everyone seemed to be in agreement that I was an idiot, but the Frey issue was still up for debate. Blitz, Hearth and I agreed it was risky, Jack, Alex and Sam were firmly convinced it was our best shot.

‘Look… So far, I only see three options here.’ Sam sighed. ‘First, we go to one of the Aesir or Vanir… between us we can reasonably reach Frey, Freya, maybe Odin, Thor or Sif. Second, we give in, call your cousin Annabeth and deal with it if they fight for custody over Sasha. Third, you stay in Hotel Valhalla until Sasha moves on just in case she changes her mind.’

‘…I know a lot of you are worried but I think two is our best shot.’ I argued. I’d been with the idea that we shouldn’t risk her being taken before but… If this involved leaning on my family for help, Annabeth was the reachable one I trusted most.

‘Camp Half Blood is insane!’ Alex protested.

‘…Is it though? It’s not like New Rome, training them as soldiers by habit, they get trained to defend themselves because they’re monster magnets! Sasha’s already proved that’s the case for her.’ Sam frowned. ‘I know I wished someone had trained me the first time I got attacked by a Frost Giant.’

‘But she’s just a kid…’ Blitz ran a hand through his hair, briefly confusing Hearth.

‘Which isn’t stopping monsters!’

 _I wish someone had trained me in magic as a kid. Could have saved Andiron._ Hearth spoke up suddenly.

‘She’s safe _here…_ We just need to make sure we are too.’ Alex frowned.

Finally, an idea bloomed in my mind. ‘Maybe there’s an option four… Could we get her to sign a vow?’


	12. I lose to Magnus (By like two months) Alex' POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies if this chapter is a little scruffier, I'm a little sick right now. 
> 
> Trigger warnings for indirect references to past abuse.

‘It’s another stall… Contracts can be broken.’ I warned.

‘We only need a stall.’ Magnus said surprisingly.

In a hive mind moment, Sam, Blitz, Hearth, Jack and I all looked at each other in mutual mystification.

‘Her worry is that living with me will stunt Sasha’s magic… But none of us want that. One of the reasons we’re against her going to Camp Half Blood is the might be afraid of her magic… We only need to stall her until Sasha’s all grown up and then we’ve kept our promise and kept her safe and she has no reason to be angry.’

‘…That’s… not a bad point.’ I admitted. My stomach still swirled. I didn’t want _no reason to be angry._ I wanted _100% guarantee that she’s_ never _coming to take Magnus away_. Thankfully, I had enough self control not to burble that like a moron.

I threw myself into it anyway. Stall or no stall, I’d probably brought us a week or two, this could buy us a decade or two to plan a better defence. Plus, I might not have _wanted_ to, but my father had hammered all this crap into my head. I can _hereto with_ and _henceforth therefore_ anyone into submission. The sun was up before we were done and Hearth staggered off, clumsily signing that it was _his_ turn to make breakfast, not anyone else’s. 

Sam ate with us before heading home. It was actually the first time I’d seen her face to face since Thanksgiving but I didn’t get to spend long with her, as Sasha latched onto me at breakfast. Micah was keeping a wary eye out too, and Jane spent the whole meal staring at Magnus. _Hmph._

‘Hey…’ Nate spoke up unexpectedly. ‘Are you guys coming here on Christmas?’

‘I don’t know.’ Magnus shrugged. ‘I might have other plans.’

 _Other plans? Since when?_ My stomach clenched. I was smart enough to know I wasn’t exactly a rousing success at the Jackson friends-are-family Thanksgiving. Maybe they’d told Magnus the condition of spending holidays with them was that he leave me behind. _Whatever. I don’t care. It sucked anyway._

I opened my mouth, ready to promise I’d be here when Sam very calmly and discreetly _stamped on my foot hard enough to choke me._

‘Al?’ Magnus half got up to help but I waved him off.

‘Wrong pipe!’ I gasped, glaring at Sam.

She glared back and pulled me to one side before leaving. ‘I thought you were the clever one!’

‘Not clever enough, clearly.’ I muttered.

Sam rolled her eyes. ‘He doesn’t know if he has other plans because he’s waiting to check with _you_.’

‘I’m pretty sure he means his cousin.’ I retorted, annoyed at her smarter-than-you voice.

Sam didn’t back down. ‘I’m just saying! Give him a chance before you get in a sulk.’

Cruel words sprang to my mind, ready to push her back but I choked them down, flushing with effort.

‘I don’t sulk about stuff like this.’ I protested.

Sam looked at me pityingly. ‘Alex… You think that if you keep being careless it’s going to protect you but you’re opening your arms for the punch in the gut. Magnus isn’t someone you have to outsmart and defeat… Stop trying to win and give him a chance to talk to you!’

I struggled, trying to work out how to explain the tangle in my chest without giving myself an opportunity to lash out. Sam _should_ understand. Amir could only comprehend the tiniest slice of her world, her grandparents none at all. That feeling when there’s nobody else you can rely on… The only thing scarier is realising now you _are_ relying on someone.

I’m an expert at managing pain, because I always know exactly what to expect, whether it’s from a knife or a fist, an adult or a child, a fall or a shove. This… I don’t know. I don’t know how much it’s going to hurt if Magnus doesn’t come home, or turns around one day and says he’s tired of dealing with me. I don’t know how hard it’s going to be to smile if he goes for Christmas in New York without me or I see him blush for someone else. It scares the crap out of me; how am I supposed to prepare for any of that? I do know one thing though; once they know it hurts you, they won’t stop doing it.

I think I mumbled some of this because Sam suddenly took me by the shoulders.

‘I know. Alex, _I know_. That’s why I’m saying what I’m saying… You think you can stop getting hurt by winning but that’s just going to hurt more… Because if you ‘win’ you’re going to push him away and then you’re going to learn how much all of that hurts.’

Something in her tone and eyes reminded of something Mommy Dearest had said to me once. _When you fall in love, you’ve already lost. That’s why they call it ‘fall’._

I shivered, suddenly realising how many weaknesses I’d carelessly handed to Magnus. Anyone peeking into his head could destroy me. _Magnus_ knew how to destroy me.

‘Al?’ His voice seemed to boom, reminding me of my father’s. ‘Sam, what happened? He looks ready to faint.’

‘I don’t faint!’ I tried to protest, with some difficulty as he suddenly lurched sideways.

I woke up flat on my back with my legs propped up. The familiar sensation sent panic lurching through me and I transformed in quick succession, shrinking to a flea to escape bonds and then growing to a tiger and snarling.

‘Alex!’ Magnus held up his hands. ‘It’s just me!’

I shrank back to human, shaking. ‘WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU LIE SOMEONE OUT LIKE THAT?’ It was meant to come out calm but my voice rose to a scream.

Understanding flashed across his face and he backed up, giving me space. ‘It’s to help someone recover from fainting… Flat on the back with legs elevated.’

I forced myself to nod, even though my heart was still pounding in the worst way.

‘Want me to go?’ Magnus asked quietly.

‘No.’ I answered without thinking, a little surprised it wasn’t a yes, and more surprised that it was right. My body might be dealing with the remnant panic but my mind had quieted as soon as I saw Magnus. I crawled over to him now and buried my face in his shoulder. ‘Just heal me next time.’

‘I’m sorry… I thought you’d hate that more.’ He touched my shoulder lightly, wrapping me in his arms at my nod.

‘I’m getting used to you being in my head… And at least if I’m conscious again I can protect us.’ I muttered.

‘Yeah. I always feel better if I know you’re in my corner.’ I could hear the smile in his voice. It slowed my heart just a little.

‘How long was I out?’

‘Maybe 30, 40 seconds? I’d barely gotten you into the fainting-recovery position.’ Magnus shook his head. ‘I think it’s lack of sleep coupled with a panic attack.’

‘Dammit I thought I grew out of those…’ I thought back. ‘Magnus… Do I scare you?’

‘Of course you do. You’ve proven you can behead me _way_ quicker than I can react.’ Magnus answered promptly, but so glibly I suspected that wasn’t entirely true.

‘Why? You know how deceitful I am. You know who my mom is. You know how easily I can kill you. Why trust me?’ _Why give your heart to someone like_ me _?_

Magnus smiled then and kissed me. ‘Because you proved I could.’

‘What? When?’

‘I don’t think trusting someone is an on/off switch… I _didn’t_ entirely trust you at first, remember? I was really worried you were working with your mom.  Then I got to know you.’ He shrugged. ‘It’s not like it was one big thing, I just started to.’

‘You’re so-… Never mind, I was about to be a bitch.’ I caught myself before I could accuse him of being naïve.

‘Do you trust me?’

‘I don’t want to.’ I admitted. ‘But yeah. Somehow I do.’

He deflated slightly, as open as ever.

‘See, that’s why! You don’t even try and school your face!’ I complained.

‘Well yeah. I spent two years deadening everything, I don’t want to go back to that.’ He shrugged.

That took the wind out of my sails. I think I’d considered every possibility regarding his openness bar that he was forcing it. ‘Oh.’

He studied me for a moment. It was a total freaky Friday moment; I was being studied to see if he trusted me enough to tell me.

‘I was pretty lucky, I think.’ He finally said. ‘I have these spooky eyes and that put people off messing with me, and for those that tried I always had Blitz and Hearth there. I felt alone, but I never was. And you never seem to realise you’re different.’

My heart raced nervously. ‘Different from you?’

‘Different _to_ me.’ He traced my face, unexpected and tender. ‘I _want_ you to know me. I want you to care about me. It’s not like I do this for everyone, you know? I have a lot of people I don’t trust, even if they maybe deserve it.’

‘Liar. I only ever see you be nice to people.’ I muttered, thinking back. It’s true that Magnus rarely strays outside of Floor 19. I have to drag him if I want him to take a class, if the rest of us leave him to it he’d spend all his time here or in his room. He only sits with us at meals. He never joins in the wagers and sub-skirmishes of combat. Even at Thanksgiving, he had barely said a word about himself in telling his own story. I thought it was just low self esteem but… It was a really effective wall. To an outsider, Magnus must be a spooky, contradictory enigma. ‘…Well shit.’

He blushed. ‘Like I said… you’re different. I adore you, I’ve wanted to be closer to you almost since we met… And it seems like the more I know the more interesting you are.’

‘That’s code for ‘troublesome’.’ I quipped, my voice trembling a little. Yep. It would be so easy for this guy to destroy me, when he can shake my heart with such a mild compliment.

‘That’s code for addictive.’ He retorted, grinning widely,

‘Who uses words like adore anyway?’

‘It’s accurate… I wasn’t in love with you the day we met, I barely knew you… That was just a crush, but it started to change the more time we spent together.’ He admitted.

‘Another one of you ‘no one moment’ things?’ I asked.

‘Yeah… I know when I knew though.’ He laughed. ‘9th of May. The day you threw my “Series of Unfortunate Events” book in the pool because I had the movie cover.’

‘You noticed you were in love with me because I vandalised your property? Because even I’m ashamed of that now.’ I frowned.

‘I noticed I was in love with you because I didn’t want to punch you for ruining my book.’ He rubbed his neck self consciously. ‘Then I just kind of understood… That I wasn’t _going_ to get mad because honestly… Having your attention, even being teased, was better than not.’

‘…Oh fuck it. Fine! You win!’ I took a deep breath. ‘I knew the day I first cut your hair. I was already dazzled, especially from the bridge thing but… I just clicked when I realised I volunteered because I wanted to touch your hair.’

Magnus stared. ‘But we’d only known each other a few days.’

I blushed and tried to brazen it out. ‘I’m not saying I thought it was real love just… I hate touching people. I always have. Other people got hormonal and couldn’t wait to shove their tongue down someone’s throat and I just thought _ew_. I hadn’t actually wanted to touch someone since…’

‘Adrian.’ He finished. There was a hint of bitterness, a jealous furrow between his brows.

‘Yeah.’ I kissed him. ‘And I’ve been hiding ever since… Desperate for your attention and desperate for you never to know.’

‘Lexie?’ My heart started to race. _I haven’t even started shifting yet but he still knows I’m a girl. ‘_ I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ I murmured, letting my body fall into its correct shape.

‘Hey!’ Blitz flung the door open. ‘That contract we drafted up… She signed it!’

‘Well shit.’ I blinked. ‘Looks like we’re committed to Option Four…’


	13. Okay seriously are they THAT bad? (Magnus POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, HUGE apologies for how long this chapter took! I was on a family holiday and I genuinely got maybe 3 hours to myself in three weeks. Hopefully, this one will make up for it!

For once in my life, actually asking Alex to go out on a date with me on Christmas Eve went smoothly. She grinned and said yes right away. Getting the time off wasn’t so bad either. The actual party plans for Chase Space were for the 25th itself and I did my blanket trick in advance to load them up. It was immediately _afterwards_ I ran into a problem.

‘Magnus, you only own six outfits, how have you Skyped me _eight_ times for advice?!’ Sam groaned at me through the screen.

‘We don’t usually go on proper dates! I don’t know what to wear!’ I protested. She wasn’t exaggerating much; I _don’t_ own many clothes and half of them are hotel issue.

‘I thought you settled on the gray hoodie? What was wrong with that?’ Sam asked, visibly struggling to stay patient.

‘It’s kind of… dull.’ I didn’t add that I’d been happy with the outfit until I pictured how much Alex and I would look like the protagonists of an ‘unlikely friends’ kids cartoon with my gray hoodie and black jeans next to Alex’s natural array of colour.

‘Okay but you aren’t exactly a flashy guy.’ Sam sighed. ‘You need to be yourself and if that means dressing dull because you aren’t into clothes… Alex would appreciate that more than being lied too.’

‘It’s not lying to someone to put a bit of effort into dressing up for a big date! It’s not like I’m renting a tux, I just want to look… cool.’ I tried to ignore the fact that Sam was clearly struggling not to laugh.

‘Okay you big dork… Pull a Hearth. Take your monochrome outfit and dress it up with a bright hat or scarf or something. Accessories show off effort.’ She recommended.

‘I don’t have any hats or scarves! Cold resistant!’

‘Splash out and buy a coloured hoodie then! Or even a patterned sweater!’ Sam huffed. ‘It’s not like I’m hugely into this you know!’

‘Okay. Thanks Sam.’ I sighed. Clothes shopping two nights before Christmas? Great. In desperation, I headed down the hall and knocked on TJ’s door.

‘Will you help me buy a better hoodie?’ I asked, brandishing the gray one to prove my point.

‘Sure.’ TJ flashed me a reassuring smile. ‘I’ll hide my bayonet.’

 _Don’t worry señor, I’ve got_ great _taste_ Jack added.

‘Me, you and Jack.’ I told TJ, trying not to laugh in case it hurt Jack’s feelings.

‘Hey, don’t knock the J-man. He gets more action than both of us put together.’ TJ laughed. He must’ve had a million more fun things to do but he didn’t hesitate. We exchanged horrors of war jokes the whole way there and I only had to drag him away from duelling teenaged shoplifters three times on the way to Summer Street where I found myself faced with an alarming array of hoodies.

 _You should get a sparkly one._ Jack suggested.

_Jack. I do not want a sparkly hoodie!_

_You’re dressing up for Alex!_ Alex _would like a sparkly hoodie._

 _I’m dressing up to date Alex, not buying clothes_ for _Alex!_

‘What’s Jack’s pick?’ TJ asked, apparently used to my face enough to tell when I’m talking swords.

‘A sparkly one.’ I rolled my eyes.

‘Makes sense. Alex loves sparkly clothes.’ Not for the first time, I thought that TJ and Jack seemed to live on similar wavelengths.

‘Any advice?’ I stared hopelessly.

‘Stay away from green, Alex wears a lot of green and she’ll flip if you two are wearing the same. If you go for one of the ones with those Asian cartoon characters you’ll just look weird and the plain ones are boring so why don’t you get one of those snarky pun hoodies? You like snark.’ TJ shrugged.

‘…Aren’t the pun ones kind of lame?’

‘They’re dorky-cool and that’s your niche.’ TJ promised me.

_Okay, why does everyone say dorky?!_

_Well, let’s see… There’s your hair, your books, the way you always drop your sword, your all round lack of eloquence…_

_Thanks Jack, I got it._

_You don’t have any cool hobbies like playing guitar or chopping wood,  you only own about six outfits…_

‘TJ… Are my clothes that bad?’

‘Magnus… Are you really asking that of a guy who never takes off his old military uniform?’ TJ laughed.

‘Okay but both Sam and Jack went on about me not having many of them. Completely separate.’ I frowned.

_HA! SAM AGREES WITH ME!_

‘So what? You never cared before.’

‘I never felt like I didn’t have anything I could wear before.’

‘Magnus…’ TJ sighed. ‘Look, do you think the way Halfborn dresses is cool?’

I stared at him, wondering if it was a trick question. I’m pretty sure nobody from this century over the age of nine thinks the patchwork of hides look is cool. ‘…No.’

‘Me neither, and I’m 100% sure if we asked Mack she wouldn’t just be messing with him when she agreed with us. People don’t decide to fall in love over clothes. So if you _actually_ don’t like how you dress, sure, mix it up. But if you’re in one of your down days and think Alex is going to look down on you for it… She fell for you at your dorkiest, it’s not going to put her off now.’ TJ smiled and put his hand on my shoulder. ‘Just go enjoy your date.’

‘Thanks… I do want to wear something that isn’t black, grey or blue though.’ I mumbled.

‘Do you own anything blue?’

‘No because it sucks.’

TJ laughed then. In the end I grabbed a dark red hoodie. Brighter and warmer than I usually wear but still not too flashy.

‘Thanks Teej.’ I hugged him when we got back to Floor 19.

‘Don’t worry about it… Just remember to actually enjoy yourself on this big date you planned.’ He laughed.

Alex wolf-whistled dramatically when we met in the hall the next day.

‘Sam texted you that I was worried, didn’t she?’ I groaned.

‘I have seven different texts reminding me to be very nice.’ He confirmed. ‘You _do_ look okay though. I’m glad to see you haven’t inherited Frey’s love of banana yellow.’

‘Or taken Jack’s advice and worn a sparkly hoodie?’

Alex laughed out loud. ‘I’d have been delighted.’

_See._

I ignored Jack, took Alex’s hand and headed for the elevator. He was jewel bright today, an emerald trenchcoat, all his hair tucked up into a black cap he’d accessorised with about fifteen bright badges, pink scarf with silver pompoms on the ends and pale gray skinny jeans tucked into black fur-lined ankle boots.

He latched onto my arm properly when we got outside, mumbling about the cold.

‘Yeah? This should be warmed.’ I shook free, wrapped my arm around him and pulled him into my side. To my surprise, he broke into one of his rare, unguarded smiles, kissed my cheek and asked:

‘Where to?’

‘The Museum of Fine Arts… You were telling me about how your family have been making ceramics for generations and they have an exhibition on about pottery of Central America I thought you might find interesting so…’ I bit my lip, worried he’d think it was stupid or trying to hard.

He leaned up and kissed me, his eyes softer than I’d ever seen them. ‘You’re such a dork, Chase.’ He tugged on my arm, grinning like a kid. ‘Come on! Let’s get going!’

When we arrived, I stared up at the stark white stones, a little overawed.

‘I haven’t been here in years.’ Alex breathed softly, taking off his hat so his green curls tumbled down.

‘I never have.’ I admitted. ‘I was supposed to be going on a school trip there the year I dropped out though.’

Alex took my hand, his mismatched eyes shining. ‘I’ll show you around, it’s amazing.’

To be honest, I kind of expected an art museum to be all paintings and a few statues. The Boston Museum of Fine Arts is actually a collection of everything and anything; performance pieces, fashion pieces, a _karesansui_ garden… We probably spent more time just looking around that at the exhibit itself. Alex was on a major high, dragging me to see his old favourites and getting lost in anything new. When we sat down at last in the garden he flopped against my side, falling abruptly quiet. I got it, the peace of the place seeped into me.

‘I think this is my favourite part.’ I murmured.

‘Yeah? I prefer the exhibition on historical fashion which challenged gender norms.’ Alex replied, still leaning on me.

I held him close, letting the whole world shrink to the peaceful scenery and the beautiful boy in my arms.

‘Next year, I’m going to blow you away.’ He whispered playfully, squeezing my waist.

My heart flipped like a Catherine Wheel. ‘Next year?’

‘Well yeah. Can’t let you plan our Christmas date every year.’ He laughed, then seemed to catch himself and blushed. ‘If we’re, y’know… Still together.’

Forgetting about museum etiquette, I kissed him then. _He wants to do this next year. He wants to make a Christmas tradition with me!_ It was only meant to be a quick peck but when his lips parted invitingly I didn’t think twice. His taste was started to feel familiar, as were the movements to make him shiver with eagerness. We broke apart hastily hearing a door open, the peace of the moment shattered.

Alex looked up into my eyes, breathing ragged and said lightly. ‘Well. Seems like we’re done looking at this place, move on?’

‘Yeah… Do they have a café? I can’t see us getting into a restaurant on Christmas Eve… Should’ve booked I guess.’ I agreed, smoothing my hoodie for something to do.

‘No need, this place has five… My favourite is the Garden Cafeteria… nothing fancy or artsy, just good food. Maybe Taste for desserts though.’ Alex said brightly, standing up. I stayed down for a moment, letting him reverse the height dynamic.

‘Lead the way.’

He took me to a brightly lit cafeteria with plenty of normal, non-fancy food; burgers, pizza, fries, soup… all that stuff. We stuffed ourselves and bickered amicably about the cost.

‘We should split, fair’s fair and all.’

‘C’mon, I invited you out, it’s my treat.’

‘I can afford it dude, don’t fuss so much.’

I decided to get brave. ‘You can treat me next year if you want to even it out.’

Alex opened his mouth and nothing came out, instead his face split into a big smile and his cheeks pinked up.

_Mark the day señor. The 24 th of December. You struck Alex Fierro speechless._

‘Okay. Your treat this year, my treat next year.’ He agreed, tucking his hair behind his ear.

We walked, rather than risk public transport, despite the cold. I glanced over at Alex a few times but he was in one of his upbeat, playful moods, flapping his trenchcoat like massive green wings and puffing his breath to mist the air, playing dragon.

It started to snow when we were three blocks away but he just laughed and glomped onto me, claiming the cold as an excuse. I was having too much fun to suggest we rush and Alex didn’t seem to be in a hurry either so we were both half coated in snow before we were home.

‘Snow always makes me think of the first time I kissed you.’ He said suddenly. It was too dark to see his face properly, but I could feel him squeeze my waist again.

‘Me too… I stand by what I said, it was the best thing ever.’ I admitted, made braver by the dark and his infectiously good mood.

‘Really? I feel like I’ve shown you _far_ better work.’ Alex poked me, his voice mock-sulky.

‘Hmmm… Maybe.’ I teased.

He stopped dead and yanked my heart to a halt with him, wondering if I’d pushed too far. Then he pulled me down and kissed me, with nothing chaste or quick about it. My brain short circuited and just kind of played whooping noises on loop at me. The next few minutes were a haze of tongue and hands and the sharpness of the night air and a burning heat in my veins. I was aching, dizzy and breathless when Alex finally pulled back and asked me huskily.

‘We could continue this inside where it’s a bit warmer… if you want to?’


	14. Father knows best (Alex POV)

For the record, making your move in the dark and the snow is very romantic. Having to trail past two dozen einherjar to get to your rooms afterwards is not good for that romance. There is no way to say ‘We had a great date but we’ll tell you tomorrow’ that doesn’t translate too ‘we’re going to make out’.

Naturally, knowing this, all of Floor Nineteen were waiting for us when we stepped out of the elevator. They wanted an _extremely_ long chat about everything we’d done. It was all fine and in good fun, until something in me snapped. Like flipping a switch, the playful mood where I just wanted to laugh and muck around morphed into the white hot anger where I want to hurl things; pots and venomous words and precious items. I transformed into a mouse, ran past their feet and slammed my door shut behind me as a human, kicking my bench to send my latest batch of pots to the ground.

Horror seeped into me. _Magnus’ gift… did I remember to move it with the others?_ I searched through the shards hastily, ignoring the small cuts to my hands.

‘Al?’ The concern in his voice just made the guilt all the stronger and I ducked my head. It was harder to search with my dumb eyes misting up. ‘Stop that! You’re hurting yourself!’

‘M’not. Broke something important.’ I barked, not knowing any other way to talk without sobbing like a weakling.

‘Can I touch?’ He asked softly. A million venomous, hurtful responses sprang to mind and I covered my mouth to keep them in. A weird, shrill noise came out instead.

Magnus approached slowly, opening his arms enough that I could get closer but giving me space to run.

I was so focussed on not screaming abuse that I didn’t notice I was moving until he grunted from the force of my whole body thudding into him. His arms wrapped around me at once, tingling with barely repressed magic.

I hid my face in his shoulder and another odd shrill came out. Panic and adrenaline were flooding me now.

‘You need to- I’m going to-’ My incoherent babble cut off in a half-scream of frustration.

‘…If you need to blow up, blow up. We’re in the hotel, I will _literally_ be fine if you kill me.’ He whispered into my hair.

_He actually means it. Stupid fucker is fine with being killed because I’m so pathetic._

The second scream tailed into a sob. It was like all those times five, six, eight, eleven, fifteen year old Alex had wanted someone to stop shrinking back in terror and just _help me please because I can’t handle this_ and nobody had and I had to pull it together by myself came rushing back.

I was vaguely aware of the pain in my hands fading away and being moved but mostly my awareness was wrecked by sixteen years of unpaid sobs demanding debt collection _now_.

_This is why you don’t compromise on the anger. Now look how weak you are. What’s to stop him killing you right now? Or using this to break you later?_

Like I could stop him. Even if I wanted to, I didn’t have the strength to break out of his arms. He was rubbing my back and talking me through breathing exercises, a slight hitch in his voice.

_He said his mom used to talk him down when he was nearing an asthma attack. He’s copying that._

Somehow, that helped. Knowing that Magnus had already handed me so many of the weak spots in his heart. I stopped fighting and tuned into his voice.

‘I know it’s weird but you’re hyperventilated so we’re going to do ‘ _In-two, Out-two-three-four_ ’ okay? In… two… Out…two…three…four.’ For once, I just did as I was told. To my surprise, the gaspy sobs did indeed peter out. Magnus simply kept repeating the mantra until the rasp in my throat was completely gone and the last of my tears had been blinked away.

‘Wanna talk about it?’ He asked softly.

I stayed quiet for a while, wondering how much to tell. ‘I don’t always know. Sometimes those angry spells just… happen. It’s not even like I was pissed off at them from the start and it all got too much. I was literally enjoying the joke until I wasn’t.’ I admitted finally. ‘I learned to embrace changing but that doesn’t mean I get to control when and how it happens. Sometimes my mood just… switches.’

We were both quiet, knowing that only explained a small chunk of the shit show I’d just heaped on Magnus.

_He’s probably crushed. You two had a great day and now all he’ll remember is your massive tantrum. Why do you always ruin everything?!_

My internal monologue says that a lot. It always sounds like my dad too.

‘I need angry. I know none of you deserve to be treated like that but…’

‘Anger keeps you moving.’ Magnus finished my sentence.

_Oh yeah. That’s why I can break around him._

He has it so under control even I don’t always realise the long conditioned anger Magnus carries around. He tames it, saves it up, makes it his bitch but he still feels it. That moment where you have to choose between a roar or a scream.

‘I think I broke your Christmas present.’ I choked out, having to blink away more mist.

That broke through his calm protective mode. Surprise turned to joy turned to blushes as if he’d clearly said _I can’t believe I mean that much to you_. He never does believe it. I thought it was a me thing. (Not great at the mushy stuff…) Now, I think it’s more of a Magnus thing. He just forgets he’s worth it.

‘I only finished it this morning so it was probably drying on that bench… I didn’t remember until I’d already kicked it and even if I find the pieces I won’t be able to fix it for tomorrow and now-’

For the first time ever, I think, Magnus just kissed me impulsively. No second guessing, no moment of _is this really happening_?, he just pressed his mouth to mine.

‘It’s okay. _We’re_ okay.’ He whispered against my lips, his gray eyes so soft and warm I think I could never have nightmares again if I could make a comforter out of them.

‘They’re all going to be on eggshells thinking they can’t mess with me.’ So apparently the sobs are just the opening act for pouring out every stupid thing niggling at my head.

‘Tell them it was an old life thing. They’ll understand.’ He promised, holding me tighter.

‘Why do I always ruin everything?’ The whisper crept out.

‘Nothing’s ruined except the pots… And you usually use the shards to make something amazing anyway.’ He smoothed my hair and added. ‘You don’t have to be perfect.’

‘Don’t leave. _Please_.’ My voice started trembling again.

‘Thanks, I wanted to stay.’ He kissed me again, slow and sweet. Not a reluctant _fine if I must_. He _wants_ to deal with my shit show.

‘I wish I’d known you when I was alive. Things might’ve been different.’ I sighed.

He laughed, self-depreciating without even realising. ‘I wouldn’t have been worth your time.’

‘You would’ve.’ I grabbed his face and locked eyes with him, forcing him to actually _hear_ me. ‘I think if I’d known you sooner… I wouldn’t need to be so angry.’ _Listen to me. Listen to my words. Listen to my_ feelings.

‘My mom would’ve liked you.’ He smiled.

‘Especially because I would’ve kicked that dumb bitch teacher for tying your hand down.’ I joined the game.

‘D’you think we would’ve stuck together when it all went wrong?’

The words paint a crystal clear image, a whole other life in my head. Spending the nights I couldn’t be at home in an apartment so well described to me I could see the battered brown sofa I’d have curled up on. Sharing a shy first kiss with a gray eyed boy on the corner, just out of the streetlight’s glare. Heading out to look when he disappeared and finding him with Blitz and Hearth. Coaxing him to step out of the shadows and talk to Annabeth and hanging back while they hugged and cried until he broke away to pull me into the circle.

‘The world would’ve ended… I wouldn’t have let you die.’ I told him, kissing him again.

‘I wouldn’t let you face bullies alone… even if you didn’t need me.’ He smoothed my feathers before they could ruffle, reminding me again that he _knows_ I’m tough; that he doesn’t comfort me because he thinks I can’t hack it, he just hates to see me in pain.

I rested my head on his shoulder. ‘I think I’d have been annoying… I was clingier when I was little, my _abuelo_ had just died and I was just desperate for someone to accept me.’ His arms tightened around me. I kind of think, even at seven, Magnus would’ve come to the funeral, all confused but just letting me do my thing with my hair, holding my hand when my dad wouldn’t and just flooding that horrible empty space with his warmth and friendship. ‘I’d probably have gotten really attached.’

‘Nah… You have an independent personality, you might have clung to me for a bit but then you’d have found your own space again.’ Magnus stroked my hair. ‘And I definitely would’ve been just as bad the year I got the bad haircut and everyone laughed so much I skipped school for three days.’

‘Are you kidding? I’d have done this to your hair ages ago.’ I touched the golden silk, loving it’s texture.

‘My mom might have liked you less; she said I looked like Kurt Cobain with it long.’ He laughed fondly.

‘So what? Your face is gorgeous, if your hair’s long you hide behind it.’ I traced his jaw admiringly.

‘If you’d given me that argument I’d have let you do anything.’ Magnus whispered, his eyes flickering with heat that he quickly quenched.

 _Worried about pressuring me when I’m vulnerable huh? You’re a gentleman Mr. Chase._ _Still…_

‘Yeah? You think you would’ve crushed on me early on?’ I sat up to look at his face, subtly shifting.

‘Oh definitely… Your beauty alone is enough for a crush but if I already knew how great you are I’d have been lost.’ He blushed.

‘And you wouldn’t have lost interest?’ I pushed a little further, moving so I was straddling his lap.

‘In you? Never.’ Magnus’ hands dipped lower but he hesitated around the intimacy of touching my hips or my butt.

‘I’ll test you on that Mags.’ I murmured, leaning in to kiss him slowly.

‘Alex… Are you sure?’

_So gentle._

‘We can go as slow as you like Magnus… But if you’re up for it… I wanna explore.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning to anyone who bookmarked or who checks this fic regularly: the next chapter IS going to be sexual. As many of the readers will be coming to this from a T rated fic initially, the next chapter will therefore feel shorter if you want to skip such content.


	15. In which I am very glad I dropped Jack off in my room first (Magnus' POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Chapter is HEAVILY focused on sexual content throughout. If such content offends you, I recommend skipping the chapter entirely and waiting for next week's.

I didn’t believe him at first. I don’t actually know how close Alex has come to being assaulted but I know he’s come close enough that certain positions _really_ freak him out. He was already more vulnerable than I’d ever seen him, so even when he shrugged off his trenchcoat revealing a baggy pale pink sweater and slid his hands under my hoodie, I wasn’t exactly sure this was a good idea.

‘Al… maybe we should wait.’

His hands stilled at once. ‘You want to stop?’

I rubbed his back gently. ‘You _just_ stopped panicking, I don’t want to freak you out again…’

Alex growled in frustration. ‘Can you _just_ level with me? I can’t tell what’s you making excuses to cover being scared and what’s real here!’

‘I’m not scared! I just don’t want to push you!’ I protested.

Alex’s eyes flashed dangerously. ‘So trust me. Stop trying to work things out and listen to what I’m saying! I want this! The _only_ reason I want this to stop is you not wanting it!’

He gripped my shoulders, cheeks burning. ‘This has kind of been a thing since we kissed in the garden. I love you and you’re unbearably sexy and if you need to take things slow that’s okay but if you’re just trying to be considerate then _fucking hell just do it already_ … I’ll tell you if I want you to stop, trust me!’

So I did it. I pulled Alex in close and kissed him, letting him get into it before breaking away and kissing his neck. His throat vibrated against my lips as he groaned softly but it was when I brushed past his ear that his hips jerked and his heart rate tripled.

I traced the shell with my tongue and he sort of gasp-moaned. His legs wrapped around my waist, making it pretty obvious that he was enjoying things. _Bigger than I thought._

He did say to explore so… I gently cupped his butt, surprised at how soft it felt. He pressed into my hands with another moan but I could feel an undercurrent of frustration.

 _Well, Alex_ has _gone all the way with Adrien, maybe others… This probably feels like kids’ stuff…_

It’s not exactly the best motive for stripping your boyfriend, but a surge of competitiveness had me pulling Alex to his feet and tugging at his sweater. He raised his arms eagerly, helping me get it off, and glanced hopefully at my hoodie.

I gave a little nod and pulled it over my head with my t-shirt, not caring that they tangled into each other. Alex’s hands were all over me, stroking the skin, scratching lightly down my spine.

I couldn’t figure out where we should be sitting. We were a bit close to the mess of shards here for my liking but would it be too weird if I tried to move towards the bed?

‘For the record, if I didn’t know you’re skittish, I would definitely bite you for spacing out here Chase!’ Alex quipped, but he had a defensive hunch to his shoulders, shrinking back into himself.

‘That’s not-’ I caught him around the waist and pulled him into me. ‘I thought we’d be better on the bed but that might be too forward and-’

Alex pressed his face into my neck a fraction too slowly to hide the fact he was cracking up. ‘Bed is good.’ He gasped. ‘Naked fine, bed fine, finish line undetermined, okay?’

I flushed but it _was_ good to have it all hammered out. With the mood already subsided, I just kicked off my sneakers and wriggled out of my jeans and boxers hastily, not worrying about trying to be sexy about it.

Alex wolf-whistled anyway. And I think it was only like 80% a joke. Despite bringing it up, he was hesitating over his jeans. _Does he want to shift into a girl? He doesn’t feel like he’s changed though… Oh._

‘Al? May I?’ I put my hands on his hips.

He looked up at me with a half defiant _Don’t blame me if you don’t like what’s under there_ look. He was trying to act casual but I could feel his eyes boring into me, expecting rejection.

I half crouched to pull the fabric away and wrapped my mouth around him. For the record, this is not something I ever thought I’d do. I was always so neutral to the whole dating thing I just assumed I was probably into girls exclusively like most of the other guys. Also for the record, maybe it’s just because it’s Alex but I really did not care about that when I was down there. I was more interested in the yelp of pleased surprise and the hands gripping my head for balance and the sudden swell from uncertain half-mast to full steam ahead.

 _I should have asked someone how to do this. How much am I supposed to move or use my tongue?_ I concentrated hard, listening to all the little tones and sounds in Alex’s voice and worked it out from there. I’m pretty sure it still took longer than a blowjob should but it was hard to care when Alex collapsed into my arms and kissed me without caring about how gross I must have tasted.

‘Thought you said we were going to the bed?’ He panted out.

‘Couldn’t wait.’ I shrugged, holding onto him tightly.

‘Want me to return the favour?’ His mismatched eyes gleamed and sent my mind spinning.

‘Definitely!’

We stumbled over to the bed, hanging onto each other.

‘Okay… Sit up against the headboard with your legs apart.’ Alex instructed, his shoulders loose and his tone easy.

I did as I was told, wondering how different it would feel to the time Alex had gotten me off with his hand. (That on its own was already way more intense than doing it myself, more than I expected.) My stomach clenched a little with nerves but mostly I was just looking forward to it.

Then it actually started and coherent thought stopped for a while. If I had to sum it up, I would probably say _heat, wet, fuck yes, oh, oh oh oh, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS._ Then Alex was sitting up and kissing me and it actually doesn’t taste a gross kissing someone after that as I thought it would. I held onto him and he stroked my hair, so soft and gentle I could’ve cried.

‘You okay? That wasn’t too much? It’s okay if you didn’t like it _querido_ , I’m fine.’ He whispered against my lips, his eyes so soft and warm I barely recognised him.

‘It was amazing.’ I murmured back, kissing him again and again. Now that the first edge of nerves and hormones was off I could actually appreciate the view. ‘Touching still allowed?’

Alex blushed, his eyes widening, but said. ‘I’d say encouraged… You sure?’

Instead of answering aloud, I ran my hands over the soft golden-brown skin, all the way from shoulders to thighs. Alex shuddered and let out another little moan, flopping back on the pillows. He was slender, but beneath the softness of the skin there was a layer of hardness. His hands were rougher, calloused from his art and combat. I touched mostly at random, hands and lips, trusting him to push me away if it got too much.

Instead he relaxed completely, occasionally moaning if I touched somewhere he liked. (Collarbones, lower back, nipples, hips were a _big_ one, he full on jerked up beneath me when I kissed there… I stored it all up for future use.) I settled into laying next to him, rubbing his semi gently and kissing and nibbling at his neck and ears. It was incredible, feeling him radiate satisfaction and just… not being in a rush.

 _I think I could do this all night... Oh!_ Once he’d relaxed into my rhythm, Alex’s hand snaked out and started working me too. It made what I was doing harder to concentrate on; I think I spent more time moaning down his ears than kissing them.

‘You’ve got a big appetite.’ He quipped. ‘Fully hard all- oh fuck not now….’

I didn’t have to ask her what was wrong. I’d never seen Alex actually struggle to keep the wrong body before but the sensation was sickening.

‘Lexie… let go.’ I whispered.

She shook her head, rolling her hips to try and get herself hard again. ‘I’m fine. Just need a minute. I’ve had sex without changing before, I can do this.’

‘You don’t _have_ to do this!’ I held her close, reeling a little from how _off_ she felt. ‘I won’t freak out or get depressed, I promise.’

She looked at me, a kind of scared I’d never seen before in her eyes. I’d probably seen _more_ scared in do-or-die moments but this was… subtler. This was _if this goes wrong, you might break me_ scared.

I kissed her forehead. ‘Please let go Lex.’

She shuddered and her body melted back into its rightful shape. It was terrifyingly gorgeous. The change had never been so obvious yet it was still discreet. Apart from the obvious, it was more like softening angles than changing shape.

‘I get that this is sexier to you but I’m still going to be a guy sometimes!’ She snapped, pre-emptively protecting herself.

‘Different sexy… not sexier… I liked watching the change _that’s_ a little bit creepy.’ I commented, being completely blunt to set her mind at ease.

She laughed, actually looking pleased. ‘Yeah? If I’m still sexy, do you want to carry on?’

I bit my lip. ‘I do but… I mean I’ve handled a guy’s ‘equipment’ before, I had an idea what to do, this is…’

‘Okay biggest mistake guys make is just jamming something up there. That’s no good. Touch up here a bit first,’ She guided my hand to a little bump. I knew from a book my mom had given me (with the instructions that she wouldn’t force me to take female sex ed but I’d find it easier when I got a girlfriend if I knew a little) that it was called a clitoris. ‘That will get me we _-ahhhhh!_ ’

So I pressed while she was talking. It turned out to be more sensitive than I expected.

‘Well I think you get the picture… Don’t ignore my breasts, please.’ She half gasped, eyes fluttering. We settled back into our mutual touching rhythm, this time making out between moans. I moved lower, waiting for her nod before pressing inside. She barely hitched at first but then I found the right angle and she lost focus on getting me off or even making out and just clung on tight.

I pushed until there was a rush of liquid and then she pushed feebly on my hand. I pulled out at once. ‘Bad or enough?’

‘Just enough. Good, very good.’ She gasped, pressing her face into my neck. I wrapped my arms around her, less careful this time of where I was touching.

Fatigue was starting to take over, blurring my visions. ‘Lexie? Can I stay tonight?’

She nodded, clinging to me tighter. _Alex is so cute._

We huddled together, me pulling the comforter up and over our bodies. Remembering last time, I asked. ‘Do you need a t-shirt? You don’t like sleeping naked, right?’

She pulled a face then. ‘No I don’t. Do like the touching though.’ I held her while she thought this out. As soon as the sex haze wore off, discomfort won over and she wriggled free to get some pyjamas.

I found my t-shirt and boxers and put them back on. Honestly, I would’ve liked her to stay in my arms like that, the skin to skin was amazing, but this was clearly something she needed. We met back in the bed and snuggled until we were both comfortable.

‘ _Te amo, querido._ ’

‘I love you too Lexie.’ I kissed her goodnight and we both drifted off.


	16. Clothes are important (Alex's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates may slow slightly as I have a few upcoming commitments, however this fic is NOT abandoned, I'm just busy.

Naturally, when I woke up the first thing I saw was the present I’d made, safely tucked away on a high shelf. _Looks like I panicked for nothing._

I slid carefully out of the bed, shivering slightly as the cold of the room hit me. Magnus slept on, his pretty face serene and half smiling. Impulsively, I dropped a kiss on his temple and heard him half murmur my name.

‘I love you.’ I whispered back and crept across the room to wrap the set of Sandman figurines I’d made and painted for him. (Magnus is hellishly hard to get original presents for. Books he acquires on his own at too great a speed for me to predict what he wants and doesn’t have and otherwise he’s extremely unmaterialistic. My back up gift was a voucher for all you can eat falafel at Fadlan’s.) Once I’d done that I cleaned up the shards I’d made last night, the old gnaw of shame niggling at my stomach.

_Useless boy._

_Why do you always have to break everything?!_

_What is_ wrong _with you?!_

_I don’t know… I’m sorry Alex I don’t know how to love you anymore…_

‘Alex?’ Magnus slipped out of bed and pulled me back against him.

‘What… woke you?’

‘Your breathing… it’s all ragged.’ He kissed my head, his chest pressed against my back and his arms around my torso.

Testing that he was still paying attention, I went rigid. He released me at once, moving where I could see him and backing up slightly.

‘Sorry.’

‘It’s okay… Need to check my escape hatches still work sometimes.’ I clarified.

He nodded, this making enough sense that he didn’t need to ask more. ‘Do you want me to come back then?’

‘Yeah.’ I moved into his arms and held on properly, burying the bad memories away. One day, I’m probably going to have to talk about them, whoever I talk to. For now… I had a best friend who was also a boyfriend whose touch soothed the hurts and a training session to complete and die in before I could go to the Chase Space Christmas party. ‘Is anyone coming with us today?’

‘All of them… I think they actually want to be with us.’ Magnus pulled a face.

‘I’ve thought this before but you have no hype for this, do you?’

‘My mom wasn’t really into Christmas. I used to get sick every year, I think because it’s the middle of winter, and a lot of things about it annoyed her. We used to do more about my birthday… I kinda like the excuse to buy you a present though.’ He grinned at me.

‘Speaking of… I found yours, it’s safe.’ I flushed, still a little embarrassed about breaking down on him over it.

‘You didn’t have to, you know.’ He started fidgeting.

‘I _do_ know. But I like you and I wanted to make you one.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Don’t tell the others, I could do without the teasing.’

‘It’s weird; stuff that makes the age gap show.’ Magnus mused. ‘Most of the time even Halfborn feels like the same age… Stuff like this makes even Mallory seem way older.’

I nodded, frowning a little. Annual festivals like birthdays and holidays were still a big deal to Magnus and me. Even Mallory was already a little jaded toward them. _I wonder how long they’ll still matter._

‘Speaking of Christmas… There was kind of an ulterior motive to yesterday.’ Magnus admitted, looking sheepish.

I pulled away from him sharply, mind racing through the worst possibilities.

‘Sorry! Bad phrasing! I meant the date!’ He held up his hands, looking uncomfortable.

‘Geez Beantown you know how to make me worry.’ I shook my head. ‘What, you wanted to get laid or something?’

‘No!’ He blushed. ‘I just… You mentioned the other week that it stresses you out when we’re too predictable… I thought doing something completely new might help.’

_Oh._

I went all gooey inside.

‘You’re sweet… It hasn’t been as bad since though.’

‘Yeah, because things got chaotic again. In the last week we’ve been attacked by a goddess, drafted a contract, had a Winter Solstice Slaughterfest in the hotel and still hit breaking point.’ He pointed out gently. ‘I think… when things calm down you’re going to run into the same problem… So I was trying to think of something to help out.’

I deflated. ‘I hadn’t thought of it like that.’

Magnus flushed. ‘It’s the only thing I can think of that doesn’t involve us only seeing each other at random.’

‘I think I’d probably come see you pretty often anyway… But yeah.’ I sighed. ‘It’s worth a try.’

‘Let me nip across to get yours and we can exchange gifts before breakfast?’ Magnus suggested.

‘You go ahead, I want a few minutes to get ready anyway.’ I kissed his cheek and watched him walk out. He hadn’t bothered to cover up with anything more than a t-shirt and thin boxers so it was a nice view.

After showering, I fretted about my own look for the day for a while. _Kinda want short hair, don’t want to cut it… Could shift it but then I’d have to explain how it grew back so fast and keeping it up would be tiring… Maybe I should start collecting wigs again?_ I compromised, cleverly clipping it so it looked shorter and fluffier. Tight green jeans with a green and pink zig-zagged belt took care of my bottom half but I hesitated over the top. _I shouldn’t right? It’s such a cliché… Smells good though…_ _No, too corny._ I picked out a dusky pink long-sleeved t-shirt next. _Hmm… A bit plain. Scarf? Or maybe a necklace? Nah, not feeling traditional femme today…_ I added a checkerboard scarf, which made the whole thing look good but wasn’t quite warm enough… _Screw it. I can play it off as a joke, claim I was waiting for them all to notice._ I grabbed Magnus’ abandoned new hoodie and pulled it over my head. _Geez, he does_ not _get himself nice things… I wonder if Blitzen would help me make some stuff that’s his taste but a bit nicer to wear?_

(Blitzen and I trying to choose clothes for Magnus is a bit of a pickle. We both _love_ flashy clothes and hype each other up so we go from ‘He’d like a simple black sweater’ to ‘But maybe we could brighten it up with a flash of yellow’ to ‘Well now it needs bumblebee embroidery to complement the theme’ and next thing you know we’re holding a full quirky/bohemian cute outfit that Magnus would despise and no closer to the goal. Hearth tries his best to keep us on track but it’s frustrating for him when we’re gabbling too fast for him to follow and making sketches with our hands so we can’t sign and hyper-focusing on the clothes until we completely ignore him. Still… If we kept to some pre-arranged designs and just focused on some nicer fabrics for him… It could work. And he _does_ have his 20th birthday coming up…)

I picked up my carefully wrapped present and padded across the hall. Magnus answered right away, hair still damp but otherwise dressed and ready. He clocked the hoodie and grinned at me, raising an eyebrow.

‘Oh this old thing?’ I plucked at the hem, affecting nonchalance. ‘I just found it on my floor, must have languished in my closet for _years_ … Warm though, I thought it would do.’

‘Looks better on you than it does on me.’ He chuckled, reaching up to brush my bangs. ‘I like the hair; really makes me want to ruffle it though.’

‘You can touch, just don’t start a thing.’ I rolled my eyes. ‘Come on… You first.’

He lit up satisfyingly when he opened the present, exclaiming over the seven statues and lining them up on his shelf, fussing over their placement.

‘You like them?’

‘ _Love_ them! Sandman was my favourite when I was alive!’ He picked Dream up, examining all the little details. _I could not love him more._

‘There might be official ones but I can’t get online delivery now.’ I shrugged.

He laughed and hugged me. ‘Okay, your turn.’

I was expecting a book, since that’s what Magnus usually gets me. It’s really cool though, he always picks them out carefully and puts in a little note about what the book means to him and why he thinks I’ll like it.

This time I was holding a soft, floppy package. _No matter how weird it is, do not be a bitch. Smile and tell him you love it and suck it up and wear it dammit._ The first thing I noticed was a soft shade of green and a silky texture.

‘Did you buy me lingerie?’

‘No!’ He rolled his eyes. ‘What kind of guy gives his girlfriend a Christmas present for himself?’

I snorted so hard I dropped the present and had to dive down to retrieve it. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise because when the beautifully made, androgynously cut green silk shirt patterned with small pink and white flowers slipped out of the paper, I could hide my watery eyes.

‘Alex?’ Magnus’ voice cracked a little. ‘Was it too much?’

I stood up and kissed him with everything I had. ‘Hope you aren’t hungry. I need to go change.’

We joined our hallmates in the lounge for breakfast. Deciding to get ahead of the awkwardness, I cleared my throat. ‘Sorry about yesterday.’

‘We shouldn’t’ve teased you.’ Mallory shook her head.

‘Nah it was fine. I get mood swings sometimes where I can’t stand being screwed with, right up until then it was really funny and I was plotting my revenge on you three.’ I grinned slyly, making them all laugh.

‘Nooooo, Magnus protect me!’ TJ clowned, grabbing Magnus and hiding behind him.

‘After you nearly tanked my date?!’ Magnus fake-glowered.

Halfborn cleared his throat. ‘You two… After last night you should know… What happens in rooms stays in rooms but they’re pretty keen on keeping… activities out of the rest of the hotel.’

‘Gross!’ Mallory protested, stabbing him with her knife. _(Ah. Young love._ )

‘I wouldn’t anyway.’ I shrugged. ‘Some things are private.’ Actually, there _was_ a little perverse part of me that wanted to bend those rules, but I’d already figured out that Magnus was _very_ self conscious about physical stuff. I wouldn’t put him in an uncomfortable position like that.

He seemed pleased with the response because he took my hand and squeezed it under the table. I squeezed back, smiling at him.

‘New shirt?’ Halfborn asked, who being a very sensitive souled berserker is somehow the only person in Hotel Valhalla who has managed to memorise my wardrobe.

‘Yes.’ I smoothed the silk, smiling to myself. ‘It reminds me of one my Abuelo gave to me when I was a little kid.’

‘Are you sure you want to go die in it?’ TJ frowned.

‘I’ll get changed before the battle, I just wanted to wear it for a bit.’ I shrugged. Magnus had been glowing to himself through the whole conversation. (Like “I’m happy” glow, not literal glow. With Magnus you have to specify.)

‘Can you two just go flirt yourselves out for an hour so I can have a _break_?!’ Mallory demanded. _Ah. She and Halfborn must be in another fight…_

‘Sure.’ I caught Magnus by his hood and dragged him after me. ‘See you at siege o’clock!’


	17. I don't know everything about Alex (and maybe that's okay) (Magnus' POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to keep everyone updated, this fic is still going to be experiencing chapter gaps of a few weeks for a while until I become less busy. That said, hope everyone continues to enjoy the fic!

I knew something was up when Blitz dropped the pie. He’s usually pretty happy to see me but not happy enough to drop things.

‘Jane’s worse.’ He said simply.

‘Have you called the hospital?’ I called over my shoulder, already heading up towards her room.

‘She won’t go… When she heard me mention it to Hearth she started trying to break out of the place, she almost fainted down the stairs, Micah sprained his wrist catching her.’ Blitz explained, hurrying after me.

‘Conscious?’

‘Drifting.’

‘Breathing?’

‘Hearth used a rune to help her…’

My stomach dropped. _If she’s already that bad… We probably wouldn’t get to the hospital in time even if we could convince her…_

 _‘You need to help her Se_ _ñor!’_ Jack yelped.

_I know that!_

_‘If she dies of illness, that’s Helheim for sure…’_

Anger sped me up but made me clumsier and I almost knocked the paper chains everyone had made off the wall. _That system’s so_ unfair!

_‘Magnus…’_

‘Is Hearth with her now?’

‘Yes… Just in case she needs… help, again.’

I thought back to everything my mom had made me read on breathing problems. ‘If she’s coughing she has something in her lungs, do we have hot water?’

‘No…’

‘On it!’ I heard Alex call up the stairs.

I nodded to her before turning the corner and knocked on the door before I opened it. Jane was propped against the wall, Hearth having to support most of her weight. Worryingly, she was barely coughing at all even though I could hear that she was hardly getting any air.

‘Hey Jane.’ I spoke softly, trying not to startle her. She didn’t look up.

‘We think, since it was a fake name, she’s forgotten she told us she’s called Jane.’ Blitz explained.

 _‘If you were going with a fake name, why would you pick Jane?’_ Jack wondered. I ignored him and took Jane’s hand.

‘High fever, fluid in the lungs, rapid heartbeat… Has she been sick?’ I signed as I spoke, thankfully for the speed of the gestures.

 _Tried._ Hearth signed, pale enough to be tinged with green.

‘Hearth! I don’t have time for you to collapse too, get to your tanning bed for an hour!’ I snapped. I didn’t get to see if he was protesting because I started focussing on Jane. Her eyes were glazed, slightly open but sightless. _This isn’t just sick, this is something specific… I’m supposed to be the healer, why didn’t I read up on this?_ Thinking about being magically designated as the healer gave me an idea. ‘Lex, do you still have your phone?’ I blurted as she opened the door carrying a basin of hot water.

‘Yeah, why?’

‘Call someone at Camp Halfblood, I need too ask a question and I don’t know any other trustworthy doctors.’ I kept probing Jane’s symptoms. Illness is a _way_ more complicated heal than injury, bacterial and viral ones are alive. Just blindly flood a sick person with life energy, you can kill them in a snap.

‘Hey Nico… Yeah, I know this isn’t our usual call but I need to talk to Solace… Thank you.’ Alex covered her microphone. ‘He’s getting him.’

I tried to sound casual. ‘I didn’t realise you guys talked so regularly.’

To my shock, she flushed. ‘Pretty regularly, yeah.’

‘Not your ‘usual call’?’

‘Camp half blood have designated schedules, he’s hard to catch.’ She sounded a little defensive. ‘Hang on… Yeah… Hi Will… I’m handing you over to Magnus.’

 _Forget that for now. Just list the symptoms and explain the problem._ ‘Hey… Female patient, I’d guess about sixteen or seventeen, had a persistent cough, now has high fever, fluid in the lungs, rapid heartbeat, pain in the joints, tried to be sick but too weak… I’m worried about beefing up something bacterial.’ I rattled off.

‘Sounds like pneumonia. Dangerous case.’ Will muttered something in Greek. ‘You don’t have targeted spells?’

‘I don’t have spells! All my magic’s self taught…’ _Why the fuck didn’t I think to look if there were specific spells? There might be something that would guarantee I don’t heal the infection…_

‘Okay, you’re thinking too sci-fi, not enough fantasy. Magic doesn’t make scientific sense, you need to guide it more emotionally… How did you first use your elfy-satyr magic?’

‘ _Alf seidr_ … I just got mad and blasted everyone’s weapons out of their hands.’ I explained.

‘Okay. That’s good, that works the same way it should. Stop thinking about how to help her and think how you’re going to feel if she dies. Don’t push it away to focus on what’s going on, let the terror wash over you… Your magic should kick in on it’s own.’ Sometimes, brains do stupid things. Mine decided that there was something hysterically funny about the warm soothing voice of the aptly named Solace telling me to get terrified.

‘Thanks. Giving you back to Lexie now.’ I yelped, trying not to laugh and shoving the phone out. I tuned out the other voices and tried to follow the instructions. _Her temperature keeps climbing and now that rune’s wearing off her blood oxygen is starting to decline… If she gets much hotter she might even be a brain damage risk… All because I don’t know how to do this…_ My own chest started to tighten but I ignored the panic attack and focused on the buzz of heat. _Come on… Breathe. Breathe. CARLOTTA BREATHE!_

I fell into the memories without warning.

_Jane – or Carlotta as I now knew – all dressed up, her mom taking her to her very first audition. A spark of real talent, natural prettiness and a money hungry director starting her on a dizzying rollercoaster of long hours, high pressure and spending time with weird people who kept forgetting she was just a kid. Too much alcohol, too many drugs, too much stress until she broke and ran, desperately trying to change her look and stop being a superstar. Terror of the cold, the strangers, the slow weakening of her chest but more terror of going back, of admitting to her mother that she’d failed, couldn’t cope, didn’t know how to be Carlotta Reyes anymore. Months of pain and hunger until Micah had told her:_

_‘You should go the Chase Space… It’s this converted mansion over the river, but it’s run by these cool old hippies and they let you crash while you’re sick.’_

_Creeping in, in the dead of night and being surprised at the deaf, skinny handsome man who caught her and smiled and gave her a cup of tea and a warm bed._

_Hiding in her room as much as possible with a growing relief that either nobody knew her or no-one cared who she really was. Getting to be plain, quiet Jane. Watching me and Alex messing around in the library, laughing and tangled up in each other’s arms and thinking jealously of opportunities lost._

‘Magnus!’ Alex’s arms wrapped around me as I fell back, the world spinning and a blaze of golden sunshine in the air.

Carlotta’s eyes opened. I knew why she’d always looked a little familiar now. We’d watched a few movies with her in at the hotel, especially the _Espixionage_ trilogy. (Lame title, decent movies, better books.) I’d thought at the time the last one seemed poorly done, it must’ve been the unfinished project she ran from. ‘No hospital…’

‘Well, not for now. You turned a corner, but without a doctor you might not get better, you know… Jane.’ I tried for a smile.

‘You did something… I can’t remember but I feel like I should thank you…’ She mumbled.

‘Thank me by getting some sleep.’ I set the bowl near the head on her bed and piled up pillows so she wouldn’t lie flat. Alex stayed quiet until we were alone.

‘You know she’s Carlotta Reyes, don’t you?’ She asked.

‘How long have you known?’ I was taken aback.

‘Since I first saw her… Shapeshifters end up having a better eye for things like bone structure, facial features… We’re harder to hide from.’ She shrugged. ‘Are you mad I never said?’

I shook my head. ‘I wouldn’t have told you either… She needs the space right now. I don’t even know if she has anything she can go back to… I couldn’t tell from her memories if her mom was really that bad or if she was just mixed up.’

‘Could be either. Or both. She’ll stay now, I think.’ Alex hugged me, frowning a little.

I thought of a few memories that had stuck out in Jane/Carlotta’s head. ‘I don’t know… I think she might leave this Spring.’

Alex raised an eyebrow but before she could question further the clock struck. ‘Crap, I have to find Sasha! I almost forgot my plan!’

‘Your plan?’ I called after her, confused.

‘Showing her the good side of herself!’ Alex called back, racing up the stairs.

I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and went downstairs to help set up, having to assure four different people that Jane wasn’t dying and the police/social workers/hospital people weren’t coming here. A quick head count told me that at least five had fled, not waiting to take the chance. _Brett, Karin, Tohru, Bianca and Lane… I hope they’re safe…_

I threw myself into laying snacks out, trying to put on a good mood. I don’t think my friends were fooled, but most of our residents were happy enough and someone hooked Youtube up to the speakers and started blaring out something rocky and unfestive. It made a nice change and even got some of them dancing, although Halfborn looked a bit lost and TJ crushed.

‘I didn’t know you were into carols.’ I mentioned.

‘You need to be rich for presents, or a fancy dinner, but carols are for everyone.’ He explained with a wry smile.

I squeezed his shoulder. ‘Sometimes, especially at shelters… It feels like people expect you to be happy just because there are carols playing, you know? It just gets frustrating.’

‘I guess I like being grateful for the little things. That’s different from feeling like you have to be though.’ He noted.

The back door flung open and Sasha, looking more like a fairy tale princess than ever in one of Blitzen’s fancy capes and snow-dusted hair, squealed to everyone: ‘Come out and see what I made!’

Most people indulged her, grabbing a coat or blanket and filing out to the back garden. I heard the gasps before I saw what they were about; a massive snow fort, shaped like a small castle with open windows, an arched doorway and all lit up with lanterns. It was cleverly done; just at the point of believably done by hand if you didn’t know about magic and I could already hear the longer residents murmuring about being curious about what had been going on in the garden as their memories adjusted to make sense of the massive structure.

Alex sprang down from a turret and shoved snow down my jumper, making me yelp. She laughed, showing off her teeth, her mismatched eyes gleaming. ‘Think she feels better about her powers now?’

I grabbed her and pulled her in. ‘You’re amazing… How did you get her to this point?’

‘We’ve been secretly practising indoors… I thought she might like it better if she realised you can make something wonderful with it.’ Alex burrowed into me, shivering. _Ah. Sasha’s immune to the cold, Alex not so much._

I wrapped my arms around her properly, unzipping my jacket so she could steal some warmth. We hung back slightly, letting a beaming, blushing Sasha show everyone not only her beautifully crafted castle but the small menagerie of snow animals surrounding it. She’d even made snow steps around one of the turrets to get onto the roof. Glancing up, I saw two figures watching from Jane/Carlotta’s window, the smaller one leaning on the larger. Hearth and Blitz came out, holding hands, and explored the castle, laughing with delight. I even saw Halfborn sidle over to Mack and say something quietly. She punched his arm, then dragged him into a kiss.

‘Ugh. So corny.’ Alex grinned up at me.

‘Fine, no Christmas kiss for you.’ I joked, kissing her anyway.

‘Liar.’ She teased.

‘Who said that was for Christmas?’


	18. At least I look good in green (Alex's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter actually almost wasn't written, I'd originally considered ending the series on Christmas. In the end though, I still had a few plot points I wanted to explore. I'm posting this warning because from here on out the fic may be a little different as I'm not sure what kind of time frame it's going to occupy. Thank you to everyone who's read this far, I hope you continue to enjoy it from here.

‘How’s the girl with pneumonia?’ Nico asked, starting the conversation the same way he’d started all of them since Christmas.

‘So much better that the mortals who were there have rewritten their memories to think it was just a panic attack.’ I reported. ‘No sign at all of it coming back, even though Magnus still has to sit there holding her hands for like an hour when he goes over…’

‘Are you more worried now he knows her big secret?’

‘A little…’ I admitted. ‘He clearly likes flashy.’

‘True.’ Nico, unlike Sam, never tells me I’m being an idiot when I feel jealous. ‘Has he ever checked her out non-medically though?’

‘No…’ I sighed. ‘He might just be discreet about it though.’

‘He was never discreet about checking you out at Thanksgiving… Speaking of Magnus, have you decided what to do for his birthday?’ Nico smoothly changed the subject, his own much nicer way of telling me he thinks my jealousy is unfounded.

I groaned again. ‘No… And it’s two days away! I’m drawing a complete blank, it took me _months_ to come up with a Christmas present _and_ he finally told me that his birthday was always a bigger deal to him… I don’t know what to do!’

‘Usually a present is expected.’

‘Thank you for that _wildly_ unhelpful suggestion.’ I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn’t see me.

‘I met Magnus _once_ and talked to him maybe twice the whole weekend, I don’t exactly know him well.’ Nico pointed out. After a moment of thought, he blurted out: ‘Flowers?’

‘Why flowers?’ I asked, trying not to laugh.

‘Because they’re romantic, he’s all nature-loving and sentimental and nobody buys guys flowers. Plus he’s a midwinter baby with summer powers, he probably misses seeing them around.’ Was the surprisingly logical answer.

‘That’s… actually a good idea…’ I bit my lip, arranging a bouquet in my imagination.

‘In another life I would be a match-maker.’ Nico dead-panned.

‘Thank you, oh wise one.’ I agreed. We kept up the act for about two more seconds before dissolving into laughter. ‘Okay, enough me… What’s new with you?’

‘Hazel and Reyna asked me to move to New Rome again…’

‘And you’re thinking about it?’ I was kind of surprised, Nico was really annoyed at them for bringing it up at Thanksgiving. ‘What changed?’

‘I’ve mostly been staying at Camp Half-Blood because of Will but…’ Nico’s voice trailed off.

‘Are you thinking of breaking up!?’ My voice shook a little more than I expected. Nico and I have a lot in common… Him being in a happy relationship for four years was a big comfort factor for me.

‘I don’t want to.’ Nico’s voice cracked, bringing me out of my selfish spiral sharply. ‘It’s just… It’s been four and a half years and it feels like we aren’t… Going anywhere. Like our relationship is the same now as it was when we were fourteen… In the first place I just blurted out that I liked him and asked him out… It might not be serious for him at all.’

_Okay, I am the older person here, I have to say something helpful…_

‘Shouldn’t you talk to him first?’ I blurted.

‘We got into this in the first place because I just told him what I wanted and he went along with it. If it doesn’t come from him, how can I be sure he wants it for himself?’ Nico’s voice had a gloomy rattle to it that fit with how the others had described him but that I’d never heard for myself.

‘He might not realise he has to say it… I didn’t tell Magnus I loved him for three years but I would have told him sooner if I’d known he really thought I was just messing around.’ I thought back to that Thanksgiving weekend and reversed the positions. ‘Or he might feel like he _can’t_ say it, that he’s scared of breaking what you already have if he goes for more… Doesn’t he at least mean enough to you to try one last time before you leave for good?’ Even over the phone, I felt the change in atmosphere that told me I’d gone too far.

‘What the hell do you know?! Do you think I’d even be thinking about this if he didn’t mean so much to me?! I never should have told you anything!’ The connection cut off before I could reply. I didn’t ring back. Like I said, we have a lot in common… I knew from experience right now he probably needed to be alone to cool off… And then ideally to have me make the first move before he got awkward about it.

 _Guess I’m sourcing flowers._ Looking around my room, I spotted Magnus’ gray hoodie, that he’d left draped on my sofa. _Oh, and getting Blitz and Hearth to help me get him some clothes!_ I still wasn’t entirely satisfied though; worries about Nico, annoyance at how uninspired my presents were and a low hum of jealousy were all niggling away at my mind, making me twitchy.

I slipped across the hall and knocked. Even before I spoke, Magnus answered the door with: ‘Come on in Lex, I’ll put the Switch on.’

I padded in and jumped onto the sofa, letting myself flop over his lap and get in the way of set up. ‘I think I give shitty relationship advice…’

‘Really? Sam and Halfborn both think you give great relationship advice.’ Magnus replied, one handedly massaging the base of my neck.

I tried to reply around the soft groans of pleasure that kept slipping out. ‘That’s because they both know _what_ they need to do, they just need someone to remind them they’re allowed to do it. When someone needs actual advice… I’m not so great?’

‘Nico?’ Magnus asked, a bit of an edge to his voice.

‘Okay, spill… What’s your problem with him?’ I rolled over, too quickly so Magnus’ hand was briefly on my throat. He pulled it away quickly, moving both arms in case I needed to bolt. It took a moment to regulate my breathing, but then I relaxed again and reached up for his hand, holding it gently. ‘Is it because he creeps people out?’

‘No… Kind of the opposite… it’s because he’s so cool and hot and mysterious… and you’ve apparently been calling him for a month before I found out about it…’ Magnus blushed guiltily.

 _Oh my gods he’s jealous! Magnus is jealous! Over_ me _!_

I sat up and rested our foreheads together. ‘Oh Mags… Honestly? I kept quiet because most of what we talk about is relationship stuff…So either it’s private to him, or it’s stuff I don’t necessarily want you to know… like how nervous I was after our first third base. Or how worried I was about you seeing me naked… The rest is stories you already hear… I wasn’t even particularly hiding it, there just wasn’t a reason to bring it up.’

‘Yeah? You don’t wish you’d met him single?’ Magnus’ arms went around me, not quite managing to sound light hearted.

‘Are you kidding? I’d have been terrified if we’d met him single… In case you haven’t noticed, tall, blonde, handsome healers are his type.’ _Come to think of it, if he_ does _break up with Will… I mean I don’t think he’d_ steal _my boyfriend but Magnus is pretty hard not to fall for…_ I pressed my face into his neck. ‘I might have had to fight him.’

Magnus laughed out loud then, hard enough to shake the sofa. ‘There’s no contest, you’ve already won forever.’

‘You sure? You _did_ say he was cool, hot and mysterious.’ I grinned.

‘In case me sucking you off wasn’t a clue, I’m probably some kind of bi or pan or something. I can tell when a guy is hot.’ Magnus quipped, but I could see him searching my face, worrying that I really was insecure. Well… In the interest of honesty…

‘What about when a girl is hot?’ I began.

‘That too.’ He nodded, moving my butt onto his lap.

‘Like Jane/Carlotta? Is she hot?’ I blurted.

Pure confusion crossed his face, easing my heart more than any words could have. He genuinely had no idea why she was the first person I brought up, even if he _had_ noticed she was attractive, he wasn’t attracted _to_ her.

‘I guess?… She’s pretty young. I mean, I guess three years isn’t too bad but… I don’t know, it feels like more to me. It’s a little weird trying to think of her like that.’ He wrinkled his nose.

‘You realise the same Nico you described as hot is less than a year older than her, right?’ I smothered a giggle.

‘Nico’s _eighteen?!’_ Magnus blanched.

‘Oh yeah. Big time.’ I rumpled his hair. ‘You’re adorable, Magnus Chase.’

‘Thank you… So… Why Jane?’ He frowned.

It was my turn to get flustered. ‘Well I just… You know she has a crush on you right?’

Magnus frowned, widened his eyes with realisation, and started to laugh. ‘Oh- you must’ve seen… so then… No she just… I thought for sure you knew already!’

‘What?’ Panic started to unfurl. ‘Stop laughing at me!’

Magnus quietened at once, pulling me into him tightly and murmuring an apology into my hair.

‘I was serious.’ I muttered into his neck. ‘I don’t want anyone else going for you.’

‘Jane doesn’t watch _me_ , she watches _us_.’ Magnus explained quietly. ‘She never got the chance to be a normal teenage girl, she never got to date. We’re the only ‘teen couple’ she knows, it’s proof of what she missed out on… If she has a crush on anyone, it’s Micah.’

I moved back enough to look at his face again. ‘ _Micah_ Micah? Demigod Micah? Winnie the Pooh Micah?’

‘Micah’s a demigod?!’ Magnus gaped.

‘I am all over the place today, next thing you know I’ll be spilling everyone’s secrets… So when you said you thought Jane would leave this Spring?...’ I prompted.

‘I think she’ll ask him if she can go with him.’ Magnus confirmed. ‘I’m not sure if it’s the smartest choice for her but…’

‘We’re giving her other options, she has to choose for herself if she wants them.’ I finished with a sigh. ‘You’re _sure_ she doesn’t fancy _you_?’

Magnus blushed. ‘I mean… There weren’t any signs in her head like there were in yours so…’

I joined him in the blush brigade. ‘What are you smiling about?’ I asked as a goofy grin spread across his face.

‘You were jealous over me.’ He admitted, grinning like an idiot.

 _Of course I was._ Territorial desire coiled in my chest. I bit my lip and nodded toward the tv. ‘How set are you on playing video games tonight?’

He didn’t get it for a moment. His wide eyed gulp of realisation was almost cartoonish, making me smile. ‘They could wait for another night…’

I pressed a line of kisses along his jaw, going down onto his neck. He tipped his head back invitingly, slipping his hands just under the hem of my blouse to rest on my bare waist. I made each kiss longer and slower, sucking just a little more, so that by the time I reached his collarbone he wasn’t alarmed by the gentle nibble. It wasn’t a dramatic hickey, just a little bloom of red but it was absurdly satisfying.

I thought I was being subtle until he gasped out: ‘Feel better now?’

_Oops._


	19. I now own skinny jeans (Magnus' POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since both my comments mentioned him... Just because Nico's not in THIS chapter doesn't mean his part in the fic is over just yet

Thanks to my mom, I’m used to waking up to something cool and surprising on my birthday. Major highlights were the year I turned eight (my first real bike) and the year I turned twelve (my super-light sleeping bag – I outgrew the bike, but the bag was with me literally until the day I died).

I wasn’t expecting much since becoming an _einharji_ but especially not being ditched by my girlfriend the night before. She just kissed me at the end of dinner, casually announced: ‘Gotta run, see ya!’ and disappeared.

Mallory laughed. ‘Feeling a little put out there Beantown?’

‘Lay off him Mack.’ TJ put his hand on my shoulder. ‘You know how much she loves surprises, she’s probably getting ready for tomorrow.’

‘Yeah…’ I forced a smile, not wanting to be ungrateful and say _I’d rather she just stayed with me though, since I’m definitely going to have nightmares tonight._ The first two years had been bad enough, wolves with glowing eyes, but since averting Ragnarok I also got plagued with nightmares of my Uncle Randolph and his family on my birthday. ‘I should go up, I’m kind of tired.’

‘You sure? I thought we could go out and party!’ TJ nudged me, grinning.

I shook my head. ‘Come on, we’re already having a party tomorrow, two would be excessive.’

‘Magnus… Be careful you don’t fade.’ Halfborn frowned up at me. ‘You’ve been in Hotel Valhalla for four years now. You should be finding an occupation.’

‘I _have_ an occupation. I work at Chase Space!’ I got up, not wanting to get into an argument tonight when I _knew_ I was feeling ratty.

‘That’s not going to sustain you for long! You don’t have long before even a few months starts slipping by in a flash!’ Halfborn called after me.

I didn’t reply, since all I wanted to do was scream at him. _Probably a good thing Alex vanished. I’d just end up yelling at her._ I shut myself in my room, stuck the TV on for background noise and dragged my duvet onto the grass of my atrium, pulling it over my head. I lay in the stuffy darkness, trying and failing to think about anything _but_ my mom until a knock pulled me out of it.

‘Go away TJ! I’m not coming out!’ I yelled. The knocker ignored me, banging insistently. I pulled the duvet tighter, trying to block it out.

‘Magnus!’ Alex yelled. ‘I can’t open the door, let me in!’

I dragged myself up because however much of me just wanted to be alone, there was a bigger part that instinctively reached out for Alex if she was close enough.

I tugged the door open to find a mass of flowers, fragrant and colourful, bursting out of a gorgeously decorated vase, glossy brown with ripples of black, Chinese style.

‘Alex?’

‘It’s midnight, you’re officially twenty!’ A voice on the other side of the flowers announced. She walked through, carrying the vase. My jaw dropped.

 _And I thought Freya was beautiful!_ For the first time, I couldn’t see any of Alex’s customary pink or green apart from her hair, which was piled up in a slightly scruffy top knot, showing off the tattoo on the back of her neck, and the low open back of her black cocktail dress. I could trace almost her entire spine with my eyes. Between that and the slit up one leg, I could probably see more brown skin than black silk. She was even in heels. She put the vase down on an empty table and turned, revealing a neckline that was deep enough to be sure she wasn’t wearing a bra and surprisingly little make up, only a little coloured liner attracting gazes to her beautiful eyes.

‘I know, okay? I know you feel like crap. But Natalie would tell you, sometimes you have to force yourself _because_ you feel like crap.’ Alex didn’t bother trying to sell me on whatever she had planned. She just said that and held out a package in shiny black paper.

I almost said no. It was a combination of reasons not to. It was the fact she’d put together a whole bouquet with nothing bluish at all. It was the fact she’d dressed up in my favourite colour even though Alex never lets _anyone_ dictate her fashion sense. It was the fact she called my mom by name like she knew her and the fact I could hear Mom’s voice saying the exact same thing.

‘I reserve the right to leave!’ I stomped off to change. The clothes were clearly Blitzen made, but also my kind of stuff. All simple and subtle but really soft to touch and easy to move in.

Alex wolf whistled when I came back, which I was pretty sure was a joke, but she also bit her lip and checked me out, which I think was real.

‘Ready to go?’ She offered me her arm.

‘Where are we going?’ I mumbled, still a little gruff.

‘To your party, duh?’ She grinned and winked. ‘I thought TJ told you?’

‘He said he was going to drag me out _partying_ …’ I huffed, letting her lead me down the hall. The lounge was in total darkness. ‘You know it isn’t exactly a surprise, right?’

‘Sssh, grumpy-puss.’ Alex’s voice went uncommonly gentle. ‘Try and believe in the magic, alright?’

There was a giggle, then a tingle of magic and twenty sparkler candles began to flicker and blaze. A chorus of uneven voices began to chant their way through _‘Happy birthday’_ , too many for just my hallmates (And Jack, who I could see flashing away to one side). I tensed, worrying about who else she might have brought. They were all familiar voices but too jumbled together to pick out an individual one.

‘Make a wish!’ Alex yelled as the song ended.

I blew out the candles, impulsively indulging her. _I wish… I knew what to do with eternity._

Someone flicked the lights on, letting me see my assembled party. Sam had brought Amir, Hearth and Blitz had somehow both gotten away… But I barely noticed, gaping at a lady with a cloud of short blonde curls haloing her head, a grinning, green eyed brunet at her side.

‘Annabeth!’ I dodged around the cake and hugged her. ‘How are you- this is Hotel Valhalla- you cut your hair?!’

She laughed and hugged me back. ‘Alex got us visitor passes… And yes! I thought it would look more grown up…’

‘But she hates it!’ Percy broke in, smirking. ‘Even Wise Girls make dumb choices.’

‘Yeah, like accepting jewellery from Seaweed Brains.’ Annabeth retorted, showing me her left hand.

‘You’re _engaged_?!’ My brain fizzed like the sparklers, overflowing with delight.

‘Yes… So for goodness sake, be free on the 19th of April.’ She laughed again.

‘You’re getting married in _three months?!_ ’

‘Enough of that birthday boy… Present time.’ She pushed me into a chair and placed something large and heavy in my lap. It was a vintage styled wooden chest, that opened up to reveal hidden bookshelves crammed with books.

 _Everyone_ had got me something, not even just guests. Percy had brought gifts from the Frank, Hazel and Will, Hearth had been asked by Jane and Micah to bring a giant chocolate bar they’d clubbed together for… Even little Sasha had sent a tiny icy statuette of a cat.

Annabeth had also bought a pile of crazy card games like _‘Unstable Unicorns’_ and _‘Flux’_. There was music in the background but nobody tried to force any dancing. There were snacks and a twelve tier falafel platter that brought tears of joy to my eyes. We ate and played and joked around until we crashed out, me wearing my gift from Hearth – a runestone bracelet to make a dreamless sleep.

When I finally woke up, it was sprawled in a chair with Alex curled up on my lap, his dress peeling off his shoulders now he didn’t have breasts to hold it up. Annabeth was tidying up quietly, a dreamy look on her face. Any other recently engaged woman would probably have been daydreaming about her wedding but I distinctly heard Annabeth mutter: ‘And I’ll put the conservatory on the south side to catch the sun…’

‘I can’t believe you’re here.’ I whispered, since we seemed to be the only ones up. (Although Sam and Amir were missing.)

She looked up with a start and smiled. ‘Me neither… It was all so fast, he pulled it together in a day and a half I think… Hotel visiting passes, train tickets… He even called my boss to negotiate this counting as a paid vacation.’

I brushed a loose curl from Alex’s face, marvelling at the sheer effort he’ll plunge into making someone he cares about happy.

‘Seems like a lot changed in two months.’ Annabeth commented.

‘Yeah… Although this not so much. This time it’s my turn but at Christmas he spent ages teaching a little girl how to make sculptures to improve her self-esteem… He goes all out if someone needs him.’ I glanced up at her.

She softened. ‘You know… I never disliked _Alex_. I just didn’t like him messing you around.’

‘I know… You take care of me. And that was actually a big part of why we actually talked and started dating for real.’ I pulled him closer. ‘I told myself it wouldn’t make a difference but it has… It’s like… now he’s my boyfriend, it feels…’

‘Like you can talk more.’ Annabeth finished, echoing my thoughts. ‘We were the same… I never thought I held back around Percy, but there are things I tell him because ‘my boyfriend should know that’ that I didn’t because ‘my friend doesn’t need to bother with that’… I’m a little surprised you’re okay with the ‘boy’friend part though. I never knew that about you.’

‘I didn’t either, until I met Alex… But I think it was always a thing I just… Wasn’t bothered. It’s like… Hearth. I could tell the day I met him that he was hot… I just never wanted to _do_ anything because he was hot so it didn’t twig.’ I sighed. ‘I definitely am with Alex anyway.’

‘Oh!’ Annabeth laughed. ‘I know you’re twenty, but you still _look_ like a teenager saying that Magnus.’

I flushed. ‘Okay, point taken…’

‘Do you have a word you like? Or is it not a big deal for you?’ She sat next to my chair.

‘Not really. I read into some stuff Alex recommended… I’m probably either bisexual or pansexual… Pansexual is-’ I started explaining but Annabeth waved me off.

‘I know, I look a lot of stuff up.’

‘Okay… Well, I think I’m probably one of them… Um… I thought maybe I'm what they call ‘gray ace’ for a while but now we’ve done more I think I probably like… stuff… too much for that to be true.’ I shrugged. ‘I guess… I looked, and it was helpful for talking to the kids at Chase Space but… It doesn’t matter to me. I’m a guy and I’m in love with Alex who’s a guy now but was a girl yesterday and might be a cockatoo this evening… I don’t need him to be consistent, I love that part of him.’ I noticed Annabeth was looking at me kind of funny. ‘What?’

She broke out into a sunny smile. ‘I don’t think you’ve ever talked about _you_ so much… Even when I ask you what’s going on, I usually have to pick out what you’re doing and how you’re feeling from context.’

‘I get cross examined on my feelings a lot more now.’ I couldn’t help smiling back. ‘Although in his defence I’m just as bad.’

‘No Chase, you’re worse.’ Alex yawned and leaned up to kiss me. ‘Happy birthday _querido_.’

‘ _Gracias._ ’

‘Ugh, does your accent get _worse_ the more you talk?’ He grinned lazily, apparently happy enough in a dress today. ‘Clear off, Annabeth has a train to catch in a few hours and you two can’t talk in peace out here.’

‘Keep an eye on Percy… Don’t let him join any death games!’ Annabeth begged, linking my arm.

We headed back to my room. I paused to use a little Frey magic to rejuvenate my flowers before joining her on the couch.

‘So… Tell about April 19th!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd just like to add: the asexual spectrum is a lot more complex than indicated by Magnus in this fic. Magnus is meant to have done some very basic looking into terms before realising it's not personally that important to him, hence settling on "probably bi or pan or something". This is a decision made about Magnus based on the character as portrayed by Rick Riordan, he addressed the issue of assuming he was straight but was consistently attracted to Alex and described some other men as attractive. At no point was it something that took up a lot of his brain, so I made the choice that he would have looked into it on a simple level, mostly for the sake of not bugging Alex with questions, and largely decide to leave it be. 
> 
> TL,DR; Magnus should not be taken as an authority on matters of sexuality, particularly asexuality. His knowledge is portrayed as deliberately shallow in keeping with his character.


	20. How to (not) kill your Greek demigod (Alex's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I read Tyrant's Tomb in one sitting last night and enjoyed it thoroughly. However I will not be included any details from it for at least a few chapters to give other people a chance to read it too.

For the record, keeping an eye on Percy Jackson in Valhalla is _not_ as easy as it sounds. Particularly when he starts sparring with your berserker friend who forgets he’s killable and tries to throw him into the spike pit.

 _‘Halfborn no!’_ I yelled out, a little too late. Realising that the playful brawl was about to get really dangerous; Percy exploded the overhead sprinklers, flattening Halfborn under a pressurised jet and drenching the rest of us.

‘Sorry man, you almost killed me.’ Percy explained, helping up the half drowned, _definitely_ concussed berserker. This attracted a small army of einherjar who were all fascinated by the guy who could concuss a berserker so easily, which meant I had to explain to a small procession of people:

‘No he’s not new, he’s a guest, so you _must not_ kill him!’

Percy barely seemed to register this. He was soon quipping and wise-cracking with all sorts of people with the practiced ease of someone who often finds themselves having to deal with new people. Sadly, he still lacked tact and it wasn’t long before the mood of the room turned tentatively hostile.

‘Hey, PJ… Want to see something cool?’ I called out.

I have never before truly believed the whole “demigods all have ADHD” thing until I saw how quickly Percy went from talking about motorcycles to _Oooh shiny!_

I took him to a part of the hotel where you could see the interdimensional sea and he went abruptly quiet, some inner part of him resonating with the vast body of water.

‘It’s always weird seeing oceans my dad can’t touch.’ He said finally. ‘I sort of understand why people can be scared of it.’

‘So you just… Always feel fine in the ocean?’ I tried to wrap my head around this. If Sam was any indicator, I hadn’t received any natural comforts from Mummy Dearest.

‘No. But… it’s like the moment when an energy drink hits, when you can still feel the buzz because you haven’t adapted yet. There’s a hum of power there.’ Percy’s face turned unusually grave. ‘Guess I’m pretty lucky mine’s so accessible.’

‘You do that a lot… Get down on yourself for having things ‘easy’…’ I commented.

‘It’s not that exactly… I was pretty ignorant as a kid because I was obsessed with the whole doomsday-prophecy-tied-to-my-fate thing… I hurt people with that. I don’t want to be that guy.’ He explained.

I thought uncomfortably of my poison tongue and it’s reflexive counter-attacks. ‘Yeah… Changing something like that requires constant attention.’

‘Huh. I never thought of you as someone who worried about how um… you… acted.’ Percy fumbled.

‘He and him right now Perce… It’ll be obvious enough when I change.’ I gestured at my flat chest that last night’s dress did nothing to hide.

‘I didn’t know if you had like… a cool down period before you can shift or something.’ He explained.

‘Okay, we’re at the point where a little explanation saves me a host of future awkward… I have two ‘real’ forms, male and female. Holding a ‘fake’ form requires constant energy upkeep, changing between two real ones only requires a tiny bit of energy for the switch. Unless something is _very_ wrong I can change freely between my two natural bodies. If I’m a girl and I want massive tits, _that_ requires energy upkeep and ‘cool down’.’ I rattled off, trying to tamp down my irritation.

Thankfully, that was enough information for Percy, who moved on to the next thing on his mind.

‘Can anyone except Jack talk to weapons?’

‘Not that I know… Why?’ I leaned on the railing. Usually I’d perch or something, but I was worried Percy would copy me. If I fell to my death, fine… Him not so much.

‘I don’t exactly know how Riptide feels about all his flirting. Should I be keeping her away from him because she can’t move on my own? Are they dating and I should be bringing her here _more?_ Is there a layer of the mist/do-what/gin-new-gap thing where their souls live and she can do whatever she wants so it’s all fine?’ Percy threw his hands up.

‘You bring the whole Jack and Riptide thing up a lot…’ I prompted, partly because I wanted to figure out his thought process, partly to distract from the fact I had no answers to his questions.

‘She’s saved my life, literally millions of times… And we were together for years without me ever questioning if she had a soul because she’s magic. I didn’t even know she was a girl. And the only… source of communication is Jack, who isn’t totally reliable.’ He explained.

‘You sound like Nico about Maka.’ I forced a grin. I was a little bit dying to ask if he knew how Nico was doing (he’s been ignoring my calls lately) but on the likely chance he didn’t know something was wrong, I didn’t want to tip him off and have him interrogating Nico.

‘Well he gets it better than most. Sometimes your group gets separated and that sword is the only thing keeping you alive. And then you find out that she’s alive herself and you haven’t been treating her like a person, which is pretty typical of you because you always do that…’ His eyes darkened here. Usually I would have prodded but I got a distinct feeling that, like a path of abnormally dark water in the ocean, I should stay well away. ‘But you still can’t just… change the fact that you don’t talk sword.’

‘Believe me Perseus, you have and will fuck up a lot of things in your life. And it’s great that you’re aware of your flaws. But I think you’re being too hard on yourself… I went to Thanksgiving at your mom’s apartment. People travelled from _all over the country_ to spend the weekend in a pretty small apartment when there were plenty of better options for a reunion because they didn’t just want to include you, they like you enough to stop you having to choose between them and your mom’s family. I don’t think they’d like you that much if you treated them as badly as you think.’ I put my hand on his arm.

He blushed, unexpectedly bad with compliments. ‘Thanks Alex.’

‘Hey, what can I say? I’m as sensitive as a girl.’ I smirked, making him laugh out loud. ‘So… enough doom and gloom… Are you having a blue cake at your wedding?’

‘We compromised. It can be blue if Wise Girl can pick the shape.’ He grinned. ‘She’s driving herself nuts trying to think of something creative _and_ practical.’

‘Are you guys keeping your apartment after the wedding or looking for something… family sized?’ I probed. (Partly for the sake of small talk, partly for the sake of knowing what Magnus was rambling about later when he distracted himself from Annabeth not being here by talking about her like she’s still part of his day-to-day life.)

‘We aren’t looking to have kids yet so our place is fine… We did talk about relocating to New Rome and we probably will when we do want kids since it’s safer for them than being out in the open but I want to be close to Mom and Estelle and Annabeth’s still got on-going projects in New York. Still… If we go to New Rome, we’ll be closer to Frederick… You know, Annabeth’s dad?’ Percy chatted away quite freely.

‘I do know, having managed to memorise the ten people in my boyfriend’s mortal family.’ I quipped.

He laughed then. ‘Well speaking of, I think Annabeth is a _lot_ more reluctant to move with Magnus so close. We couldn’t communicate long distance at all when she first came here looking for him four years ago and she knew he was… well sort of alive when she got back to New York but… She cried herself to sleep for a week.’ His face softened, telling me more than he realised about how long those two had been the biggest support in each other’s lives.

‘I think he’ll miss her a lot when you guys move. He’s annoyingly attached to his big cousin, you’d think she was the spirit of the well of knowledge.’ I grinned, trying to lighten the sentimental mood.

‘We might not move. Things are changing for demigods… There are other options now.’ He remarked cryptically. ‘Although how we’re going to explain dead cousin Magnus and cousin Alex who never age but aren’t gods is going to be fun.’

‘Bold of you to assume I’m meeting your kids.’ I nudged him.

‘If I assume they _are_ meeting you and they never do, we’re fine. If I assume you’re _never_ meeting them and you do, I’m getting caught out with the green hair question again.’ He pointed out.

‘I thought I talked Estelle out of that?’ I protested.

‘You did. She just told her pre-school class the whole story and my mom and Paul got called in to ask if they were concerned one of my friends was being abused.’ Percy explained gently.

‘Oh.’ I fidgeted. ‘I wasn’t, you know? He didn’t starve me or beat me or sexually exploit me ever. Neither did my step-mom. She tried really hard to love me.’

‘You’ve changed a lot.’ Percy commented, politely not unpicking the statement. ‘Three years ago, you would’ve bitten my head off for that.’

‘Three years ago the world was ending and I had a lot of stuff I’d put off dealing with. Now… I’ve worked through a lot. Besides, it pisses me off when people think the worst based on a story I was deliberately spooking up to put a small child off hair dye.’ I tugged irritably at my dress, which was determined to slide off my chest. ‘Can we go so I can change into something less annoying? I only wore the stupid thing to shock Magnus out of his birth/death/mother murder-day funk.’

‘Sure.’

Getting Percy back to the room was easy enough, although Mallory threw a knife at the elevator as it opened on pure reflex. Percy blocked it with his forearm, so we had the minor issue of him bleeding a lot.

‘Sorry!’ She looked uncharacteristically abashed. ‘I thought you were Devin.’

‘I want more explanation once we’ve patched him up… Who even _is_ Devin?’ I asked, propelling Percy who was calmly supporting both arm and knife, using it to stem the flow until we got him help.

‘Pain in the arse. Claims as the ‘original Paddy Einherji’ he’s my pal.’ Mallory rolled her eyes. ‘He comes and goes, bothers me about once every five years. He’s only been here ten years more than I have, there were tons of Irish einherjar before him.’

‘Sounds like he fancies you.’ Percy put in, looking around for a first aid kit.

‘Less flattering in a stalker.’ I pointed out, ignoring traditional first aid and knocking for Magnus.

‘He annoys me, I kill him, he drifts back to floor 137. It’s not a big deal.’ Mallory countered as Magnus opened the door.

‘Mack, can you warn me when you’re throwing knives at the elevator?’ Magnus sighed, taking Percy’s arm. ‘Is this about Devin?’

‘ _You_ know about Devin?’ Mallory demanded.

‘Halfborn told me. You should report him… All healed Percy, here’s your knife Mallory, Al; do you need jeans?’ Magnus rattled off.

‘I’m going to change now.’ I kissed him. ‘Thank you.’


	21. Speaking of global warming (Magnus' POV)

Alex came to join us once he was more comfortable. He was doing his deliberately-charming thing, until even Annabeth lost her last bit of wariness and started pouring her heart out about her project. (Turns out her co-worker Denise keeps stealing her coffee.)

‘You should throw it over her next time.’ I said without thinking, an old street defence slipping out.

Annabeth just squeezed my hand and let it pass. I guess she remembered from when she’d had to run away what it was like.

‘Nicer than my suggestion.’ Percy commented.

‘What was your suggestion?’ Alex’s eyes gleamed. ‘Mix in chilli powder?’

‘Close; laxatives.’ He laughed.

Annabeth shook her head. ‘And like I told Percy… I want them to take me _seriously_ as a professional… I’m only 21, if I do something like that I’ll be seen as a child.’

‘If it’s office demeanour you’re worried about, wait until you know she’s made a cup of coffee with your special coffee beans, take it out of her hands and say “Oh you made some of _my_ coffee Denise? Thank you, that’s so thoughtful.”.’ Alex parroted. I could already see something was off; his hands started twitching and he moved away from my breakables.

‘Isn’t that a little passive aggressive?’ Annabeth raised her eyebrows.

‘Office politics are all passive aggression, son.’ He muttered, screwing up his face.

I got up and hugged him impulsively, feeling him stiffen but then sag against me. ‘Your dad’s advice?’

‘Yeah… He’s a dick but nobody ever took his coffee… Unless you count Mommy-Dearest.’ He muttered.

‘I think I’m going to stick to plan A.’ Annabeth sighed.

‘What was plan A?’ I asked her, releasing Alex. He decided to deal with his frustration by prowling around as a pink and green tiger, the perfect representation of his patented blend of adorable and deadly.

‘Build a puzzle box container she can’t get into.’ Annabeth grinned. ‘I sent my schematic to Leo last week so I should receive it any day now.’

‘Aren’t you worried that she might get ignited if she tries to break in?’ I joked.

‘He’s promised to make it mortal friendly.’ She grinned.

‘Will these puzzle boxes be available for purchase?’ Alex’s head appeared over my shoulder, eyes alight.

‘I wasn’t thinking of selling them.’ Annabeth smiled. ‘But I’m sure Leo could be persuaded to make another one.’

‘What are you going to put in your puzzle box?’ I asked, tipping my head back to look at him.

‘Secrets, obviously.’ He smirked, then pushed himself up to kiss me quickly before dropping behind the sofa and turning into a squirrel.

Hearing a clock strike 11, Annabeth sighed and began gathering her stuff. ‘We better go.’

‘Can I go with you to the station?’ I asked, reluctant to miss out on any extra time with her.

She brightened up and nodded, so I went into my bed alcove to change, followed by a squirrel who turned into my boyfriend.

‘Come see me when you get back? I still have plans.’ He coaxed, hugging me tightly.

‘I’ll never doubt your plans again… This was the best.’ I mumbled into his hair, hugging him with everything I had.

‘For now.’ His eyes sparkled with mirth.

The walk with Annabeth and Percy went peacefully, exchanging the last few bits of news. (Annabeth’s twin brothers were graduating this year, Hazel and Frank were taking ballroom classes and the god Apollo had missed his mortal friends so much that came down for a visit, impulsively saved someone’s grandmother and now he and Hades were involved in a massive argument over whether that was interfering in Hades’ domain as she had been gravely ill not at the point of no return.)

‘Is there like… a god of lawyers who presides over stuff like that?’ I asked, imagining a god in a smart suit and tie with a magic briefcase.

‘It goes to Zeus, since it’s an Olympian dispute. Something more minor and localised; like a couple of dryads getting into an argument, that would probably go to their overseeing god – in that example, Demeter.’ Annabeth explained.

 _‘Oooh, I like Demeter! She and her daughter are soooo funny!’_ Jack piped up cheerfully.

‘How many Greek gods did my dad hang out with?’ I asked out loud, attracting surprised looks from the other two.

_‘Greek? Um… Apollo, Artemis, Demeter, Persephone, Pan… Lessee, I think Nephtys is Egyptian… Aja is Yoruban… Is Amaterasu Greek? No I don’t think so… Oh! And Chloris!’_

My mind spun. ‘So… Apparently my dad at least crosses paths with other pantheons _all the damn time_.’

‘ _What can I say se_ _ñor? Frey’s all about moving between extremes.’_

‘That’s fascinating.’ Annabeth’s eyes gleamed. ‘I’ve heard of Pantheon crossover in a single mortal gene-pool but never directly between gods.’

‘Apollo was pretty keen to ‘cross over’ with my dad once but Jack annoyed him out of it.’

 _‘I’m the_ best _wingman.’_

_‘Shouldn’t you be off flirting with Riptide?’_

_‘…We’re not currently speaking.’_

‘Really? I wonder what the result would have been?’ At the look on Annabeth’s face, Percy calmly switched gears from his usual casual wariness to actively scanning for danger, apparently realising she wouldn’t be her usual alert self for a while. ‘We know from the Greek and Roman incursions into Egyptian territory that the influence of cross pantheon interaction can quickly turn toxic and unstable but that was a forced coalition by mortal forces… A more consensual union, especially between two deities with compatible spheres could hypothetically bend the rules on that topic.’

 _‘If she wants an answer to that she’s better asking someone else. Frey never “united” with any of those gods, he’s the master of the platonic.’_ Jack warned me.

_‘Good to know.’_

‘And that’s without allowing for the fact that godly blood is substitutable for pharoah blood in the Egyptian magic system, although that might quickly stop being true with legacies… And then you’ve got other evidence of cross-pantheon interaction in people like Hazel, who have magical talent from somewhere but have to apply it to pantheonic magic they’re born into to get results… Or is that a result of environmental factors? If we knew where Hazel’s mother’s ‘talents’ came from, would Hazel be able to master that magic?’

Percy silently handed over a notebook and took care of making sure Annabeth avoided things like lampposts, vehicles and the river Witham while she scribbled down the ideas bursting out of her brain. It was kind of nice, his eyes crinkled up like he was loving seeing her this animated and he’d clearly done this enough times for her to have total trust that he’d have her back. (She moved according to his steering without so much as looking up. Annabeth was one of those kids who used her own eyes to cross a street even if her dad, a crossing guard and the streetlight said she could.

When we reached the station she tore herself away to hug me. We held on tight, both unable to let go of the feeling that it could be the last time we saw each other. Between monsters, gods and just crazies with guns…

‘Write me?’ I muttered into her shoulder.

‘I will… See you in April.’ She murmured into the side of my head.

‘See you in April.’ I echoed. Percy also hugged me briefly, then they both got on the train. I stayed, waving, until I lost sight of them and started heading back to the Hotel. It was a pretty pleasant walk, being unusually bright and mild for January.

_‘Maybe your dad wanted to say ‘Happy birthday’ se_ _ñor.’_

_‘Or maybe global warming is spiralling out of human control and is more likely to kill us than Ragnarok.’_ I shot back.

_‘Wow, grumpy.’_

_‘Sorry…’_ I tried to keep quiet on the rest of the way back. I was exhausted by the time we reached the hotel, if I hadn’t promised to find Alex I probably would have just gone and slept. Still… A promise is a promise so I dragged myself to his door and knocked.

He opened with a broad grin, a pink and green flannel shirt, deep green thermal leggings and hiking boots with pink laces on one side and green on the other. ‘Hey! …Oh.’

I stared at him. ‘Was your plan for this afternoon hiking?’

‘Not just this afternoon. I figured we could all go up to Blue Hills and camp out, check out some stars…’ He reached out and touched my face, voice gentling. ‘You already forced yourself to do a lot… If it’s too much, let’s just hang out here… Watch a movie, take a nap…’

I mulled this over. It was a beautiful day, and I could tell by the extra gear I could spot over Alex’s shoulder that he’d talked our hallmates into coming with. They didn’t even like birthdays anymore, but they still helped out with my party and agreed to a camp out in January for me. Then there was Alex, who’d thought about everything and realised something I didn’t even know I wanted – to spend my birthday with my family again. And realised how low I’d feel when Annabeth left and talked my new family into doing something I loved after staying up all night partying so I could enjoy the rest of my birthday.

I kissed him, hard enough that I heard a breathy little whimper slip out of his lips. ‘Let me change okay? These jeans are cool but I can’t hike in them.’

He beamed. ‘I’ll rally the troops… TJ! GET THE BUGLE!’

TJ let out a whoop of the purest joy at that call. I could hear him ‘rallying’ the whole time I was changing.

‘Hey.’

I looked up and felt a weird shiver. Leaning on my wall, fidgeting nervously with his shirt was my dad.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. ‘I know it’s not… But you… Happy birthday.’ He concluded.

I ran over and hugged him. Yeah, I could’ve grumbled about why he was only showing up now instead of the other birthdays but… I knew. I knew enough about gods to know their powers weren’t as limitless as we like to believe, that they certainly weren’t perfect and that – for this painfully shy guy who couldn’t even say “No thanks” at a godly mixer without his talking sword doing it for him – showing up got harder with every opportunity he missed, his fault and otherwise. I didn’t have the words to tell him that it was okay that he wasn’t perfect, that he could be part of my family without being a human dad, so I just hugged him and said: ‘Thank you.’

‘I won’t stay, I know you have plans!’ He blustered. ‘Just… enjoy them.’ He fidgeted more, clearly worried about something else and finally added. ‘I’m trying. With the global warming thing. It’s hard, the mortals won’t stop attacking.’

I blinked. _Did he come here because he was worried I was upset? That’s actually kinda fatherly._

‘I know Dad.’ I hugged him again.

‘Magnus, ready to?- Oh!’ Alex froze in the doorway.

‘Sorry! I’ll- goodbye!’ Frey vanished, leaving a faint smell of sunshine.

‘I’m almost ready Al, I just stopped to talk to my dad.’ I told him.

He was unusually silent, looking deeply uncomfortable.

‘Alex?’

‘…Your dad is hot.’ He whispered, looking slightly terrified.

I couldn’t help it. I laughed so hard I fell to the floor, shaking and clutching my ribs. For the first time since becoming an einherjar, I worried about my lungs, unable to help laughing out.

‘Hey! I can’t help it! In case you haven’t noticed dorky, outdoorsy blonds are my niche!’  Alex protested, getting pink in the cheeks. ‘Magnus!’ He stalked over and nudged me with his foot, glaring down.

Feeling playful, I grabbed his leg and pulled him down on top of me, making him yelp in surprise.

‘I know what you mean. He looks more like Marvel’s Thor than Thor.’ I told him, hugging him close. I was expecting to get yelled at but instead he laughed and moved to get comfortable, tucking himself under my chin.

‘Yeah he does.’ He chuckled, all soft and warm.

We lay like that for a couple of minutes until TJ yanked my door open and parped his bugle at us until we got up, I put my boots on and we left.


	22. I fix a couple (Alex's POV)

Camping for pleasure isn’t something I’ve done since dying. For quests, sure, hiking for pleasure, sure, but no camping for pleasure. I was pretty excited but also a little conflicted if this was a good idea. I couldn’t get the sheer tired misery in Magnus’ eyes when he got back to the hotel out of my head. Frey turning up seemed to have cheered him up a bit but I couldn’t help worrying. _Did he get given some weird quest? Is he trying to stay quiet so we can have a last night of happiness? Is he trying to be okay with it but I upset him with the hot-dad thing?_

This lasted until we actually broke past city limits. Magnus shed his usual state of low-key anxious like an unwanted coat, taking seamless and gentle charge of the other three who didn’t quite know what they were doing and occasionally checking over at me. I didn’t want him to have to work so I’d prepared everything carefully but he seemed to be enjoying it so I kept quiet, even pushing my compass deeper into my pocket so he could sun-track our route. (Incidentally, we went _straight_ to the campsite I’d picked out. If we ever end up having to settle a whole new world, Magnus is my first choice of team mate and not just because he’s hot and has healing magic.)

‘Okay, Halfborn can you and Mallory pitch the tent? TJ, you come with me so we can get some firewood. Alex, can you prepare the fire circle and cooking stuff? You’ve done that before right?’

‘Yep, I’m on it boss-man.’ I joked, saluting him.

He laughed and kissed my cheek before leading TJ into the woods.

‘Why couldn’t he have taken the meathead?’ Mallory grumbled.

‘It’s not like you were my first choice of companion woman!’ Halfborn snapped in reply. ‘I’m only here for Magnus’ birthday celebration!’

‘Same for me, so stop trying to ruin it with your attitude!’

‘Guys,’ I broke in, smiling my most angelic, motherly (as in my-motherly) smile, ‘I’m really glad you held this back. But sound carries up here and so help me if you ruin this for Magnus by bickering I will personally arrange an all-expenses paid trip to Freya’s personal beauty spa for the both of you.’

This should have terrified them, being a realistic enough threat that there was potential for follow through. Instead they exchanged glances and burst out laughing. _Why does that keep happening to me today?!_

‘You act so careless, but you really cherish Magnus, don’t you?’ Halfborn smirked.

‘Why is that so surprising?’ I focused on putting the rocks for the edge of the campfire down and not lobbing them at his head.

‘Well, because you’re all ‘I do things my own way and anyone who goes against that better pick a god and pray!’’ Mallory did some sassy hand and hip movements that better not have been an imitation of me.

‘So I have my own opinions and I fight for them, that doesn’t mean I can’t watch out for someone else!’ My hands were shaking too much to assemble the tripod.

‘Come on, the first year we knew you, you’d tear anyone who dared contradict you a new one. Like when you threw one of Magnus’ favourite books out because you didn’t like the cover.’ Halfborn, sadly, was right. Shame flooded my face with colour.

‘Or how you used to jump down the throat of anyone who asked if you two were going out if they caught you cuddling or snogging or something.’ Mallory added. ‘It’s cute; you’ve gone from being the person who _makes_ him uncomfortable to the person who stops other people making him uncomfortable.’

‘…Perhaps we could all learn from Alex and let go of our habits a little more for the people we love.’

‘…Maybe that’s not your worst idea…’

Halfborn and Mallory began having a very touching reunion, which was convenient. I mean, not only did it stop them from arguing, it meant they didn’t notice me getting all stupidly emotional.

_I have to calm down, or I’ll be the one making an awful atmosphere for him to walk into._

I set up the campsite. (Including the tent, since those two were too busy flirting.) I was just in time for Magnus and TJ to come back with a good stack of firewood.

‘Here, let me build the fire, I like igniting things.’ I quipped, grinning forcefully.

‘When you say it like that, I worry I’m going to be next…’ TJ commented.

‘Well you should, I do come with a danger warning.’ I laughed. It didn’t seem to be working. Magnus was already looking at me with that little v-shape in between his eyebrows.

He kept quiet until the campfire was lit. ‘Hey TJ… I remember from our foray into Nidavellir you were pretty amazing at campfire cooking… Do you mind working on dinner while I borrow Alex?’

‘Sure thing, just promise me I won’t hear you two.’

‘Not for that, I want to talk plans for my cousin’s wedding.’ Magnus rolled his eyes. I was surprised. (At the smooth lie, not that we weren’t going into the woods to make out. That part was 100% Classic Magnus.)

I went along with it, knowing him well enough to know that if I didn’t talk to him now he’d waste the rest of his birthday overthinking everything that could be bothering me.

‘Before you ask me what’s up, can I get in first and tell you that it’s nothing major, Halfborn and Mallory just got under my skin a bit?’ I asked as soon as we were out of earshot.

‘Is that all? You’ve clenched your fists so hard your palms are bleeding.’ He took my hands, running his thumb over the little crescent cuts so they melted away. (Forgive me, I’m swooning a little.)

‘…Okay, they reminded me that… I’m not exactly happy with how I treated you all. Especially you.’ I sighed. ‘And especially how… casually I did it.’

‘What do you mean?’ He cocked his head, genuinely confused.

‘Let’s see… We have the temper tantrums everyone walked on eggshells around, the stringing you along without committing, the fact that I apparently act so selfishly that everyone is genuinely surprised I bothered to try and make your birthday good!...’ I felt my voice rising to an angry pitch and saw Magnus instinctively tense up. ‘…See? I don’t get scared when you’re pissed because I can 100% know that you aren’t going to take it out on me. You can’t say the same thing.’

‘I don’t trust anyone angry.’ Magnus pointed out, before stepping over and wrapping his arms around me. ‘And I think you’re a lot of things but selfish isn’t one of them.’

‘You aren’t commenting on the temper tantrums?’

‘The anger issues are a real thing, I’m glad you’re working on them.’ He admitted. It was brutal, but kind of reassuring since it meant he probably meant the not-selfish thing too. ‘I know you have a lot of ways to take care of it but… Christmas was scary Alex. You spend _hours_ working on your pottery, making amazing beautiful things and when you get angry you destroy them without caring that they’re hurting you while you do… _That_ scares me, the idea that one day you might get so angry that I’ll find you bleeding out.’

‘…It’s just… I have to break something. At least if it’s my own work, I’m the only one getting hurt. I can’t _not_ get that angry, I’ve tried. I guess I’m… too much like my dad.’ I shut up, waiting for Magnus to come out with something soothing but he stayed silent so long I felt like he had to elaborate. ‘He used to do something similar, only instead of coming home and breaking pots he’d come home and break his marriage. My step-mom forgave him for _me_ , for having a strange inhuman kid with someone else and he’d come back in a temper and scream at her for being too ugly, too stupid, too lazy… Some nights she’d hear the car door slam and just say, all bright and happy, ‘I know, how about a treat night? I’ll ask the housekeeper to bring dinner to your room Alex, so you go put a movie on, okay?’… And then later that night when he was done screaming and she was done crying she’d put her make up on all nice and come into my room to say goodnight and ask if I’d enjoyed the movie… I didn’t know how to handle it.’

‘Do you miss her?’ Magnus asked, hugging me so tightly that I felt like I might not fall apart even if I broke a bit.

‘…When I was a kid, I didn’t realise I did the same things as Dad. I was too scared of him to take it out on him when I was angry so I took it out on her. One day I broke a glass vase she’d gotten from _her_ mom before she died and… it broke _us_. She just turned around and said she didn’t know how to love me anymore and she stopped trying. She stopped buffering for me and my dad, stopped keeping him from having my girl clothes and make up thrown out, stopped making sure we talked about my _abuelo_ … I was so ungrateful, I never noticed how much she did until she stopped.’ It took a long time to say all that, since my voice seemed determined to crack and breathing was a little difficult.

He didn’t try and tell me I was wrong for feeling guilty, which was nice. Maybe he was thinking about the ways he let _his_ mom down and how he still felt about them. Instead he kissed my wet cheeks and said softly. ‘So now you only break your own things.’

‘So now I only break my own things.’ I agreed. ‘Or so I thought. Except I don’t. I ruined your book, I ruined Mack’s cake two years ago, I ruined TJ’s bingo night… I can’t seem to help it.’

‘…I don’t think that’s right. I mean… You said yourself, last time you felt like this and we were doing something as a group, you blew up and stormed out and we ended up cancelling. Tonight… I don’t think Mack and Halfborn even know they made you mad, because you _did_ subdue it.’ He hugged me tighter. ‘I can’t know what it was like… growing up in that house. But I do know what it’s like to be ashamed of the person you’ve been… Trying to change that… it’s really hard and I feel like you aren’t giving yourself credit for what you’ve done.’

‘Well because it’s something everyone else already _has_.’

‘You realise it took TJ decades to get his anger under control? And it took Mack’s help to get him to the point he is now. Yeah, I don’t have the same anger problem you do but I envy you for how… confident you are. You just told me all this but I needed you to tell _me_ that you knew I was scared before we… got physical… the first time. I guess… In a way I’m kind of glad that you’re ashamed?’ He blushed. ‘Sorry! That sounded horrible! I just… You’re… I know you hate losing and that admitting you were in the wrong is a kind of losing and I just think it’s amazing that despite that you’re trying so much. I’m with you all the time and I think I have some like… passive empathy thing from my dad so I know how much you’ve been angry and _not_ blown up recently.’

As quickly as they’d spilled, my tears turned to laughter. I suddenly remembered Frey’s awkward blurted goodbye in the hotel and realised where Magnus got his shyness and it was weirdly comforting to see with him dealing with his own godly legacy instead of only the cool parts.

I wrapped my arms around Magnus’ neck and kissed him. ‘Thank you. But I really would like to go back now and not because there’s nothing left to say on this… but we’ve said enough I think and I don’t want your birthday to be all about me.’

‘Sure.’ Magnus hesitated. ‘But… Alex?’

‘Yeah?’

‘You’re… you know… a big part of my life. So… A lot of my life is a bit about you, you see?’ He blushed.

My usual eloquence cruelly abandoned me. ‘Yeah. I do. And you in mine.’

He nodded, and we headed back to the campsite.


	23. A whole lot of what ifs (Magnus' POV)

Things subsided into a bit of a lull after my birthday, helped by the fact that Halfborn and Mallory were no longer fighting. (Apparently they bonded over pissing off Alex… Which is a little annoying.) Alex handled the lull unusually, going all quiet and withdrawn. I gave her space to think for a couple of days before asking what was up.

‘Don’t go all weird on me… I’m worried about Nico.’ She sighed. ‘Can’t get into it, his private business but… We made up after our fight but he’s still not happy. It sucks.’

I flushed. _Guess I’ve been a bit possessive if it’s hard for her to tell me she’s worried about her friend…_

_It’s okay se_ _ñor, lots of people find jealousy romantic._

_Thank you, Jack._

Out loud I said: ‘Okay… Can’t do much helping if it’s private but… If you need me to cover a chore for you so you can call him or something, let me know.’

She looked relieved and hugged me hard. ‘Thanks… it means a lot.’

For some reason the hug stayed in my head. Or not that hug but rather…

‘Do you think Alex and I are one of those annoying touchy-feely couples?’ I asked TJ while we were playing Mario Kart.

TJ thought about this while annihilating me with green shells so well aimed they may as well have been blue. ‘You do tend to do it a lot. But pretty casually. It’s not like Seth and Emma from Hall 11, always making out in front of everyone, you just kinda hug a lot. You also hug me a lot though, and Hearth and Blitz and Halfborn and Mack… We just know you’re a hugger. And it’s adorable how Alex is normally Mr or Mrs No-Touchy but always gravitates towards you.’ Rosalina drifted over the finish line yards ahead of me as TJ spoke, causing his to stop mid-point to whoop as Yoshi trundled along in second place. ‘Like on Christmas Eve… Nobody else would have dared go in there but you did and you actually helped. She wants you around her. Besides, the annoying part was before you were a couple when we were all waiting for you to just kiss already.’

‘So you never felt like… I was in the way?’ I blurted.

TJ dropped the controller and stared at me, before collapsing into laughter. ‘You thought- I don’t- Oh the gods!’ After a few more gasps, he sat up. ‘Alex is great but I could _not_ date her. I just don’t feel like that about her.’

‘You said anyone with eyes could tell that she’s hot.’

‘I also said she’s not my type.’ He reminded me.

‘Yeah but… you weren’t exactly happy when you found out we’re dating either.’

‘I stand by what I said. It was completely unfair for her to monopolise you for three years if you weren’t actually going out.’ TJ frowned.

‘It’s not like she was flirting with anyone else… She just needed an escape hatch.’ I shrugged.

TJ looked at me for a long time and sighed.

 _Oh wow, thought this would never happen._ Jack remarked.

_What would never happen?_

_Shut up and listen, se_ _ñor._

‘Okay so… Don’t get weird about this, it was a long time ago… I kinda… liked you for a while.' TJ muttered.

My first thought was _he’s joking right?_ Then I noticed his body language. Not quite looking right at me, slightly flushed, fidgeting constantly.

‘Wait, for real?’ Great now I was blushing. And panicking. Definitely panicking.

TJ smiled ruefully. ‘Bet you never knew I was bi? I always thought you seemed like a cool guy but I didn’t really notice you were… well… pretty hot… until you cut your hair. Then I got a bit of a crush but it was obvious even then that you were head over heels for Alex so I kept quiet. And then we thought the world was going to end so I promised myself that I’d tell you if we survived… Only for you two to get together. Or so I thought. And I thought telling you right when you got together with someone else would be a dick move so I didn’t… If I’d known things were still open, maybe I would’ve.’

_What do I even say here?_

TJ finally looked at me and burst out laughing. ‘Oh gods. That pity in your eyes says _‘It wouldn’t have made a difference if you had.’_ … That bad huh?’

_Be honest with him se_ _ñor. Don’t be like your dad and leave it open because it’s awkward._

I took a deep breath. ‘It’s not… You’re great. You’re one of my best friends and if you had… asked me out or something… before I met Alex… I might have said yes. But… I’ve definitely never… felt like _that_ about you. And… after Ragnarok… I definitely wouldn’t have risked what I had with Alex for any certain relationship. I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be.’ TJ smiled, his big, wide open, no room to doubt its sincerity smile. ‘In the first place, I kinda understood I was holding back because we were friends, even _before_ things were clear cut with you and Alex. And it was three years ago. I haven’t felt like that about you in a couple. I just thought… well you’re pretty perceptive. Not to mention you overthink constantly. If I didn’t tell you, you’d totally work yourself into a frenzy about what might be up with me and why I couldn’t tell you… I don’t want to put you through that. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had.’

‘See now it’s awkward because I can’t return that sentiment because of Jack.’

 _Wait, because_ I’m _the best friend you ever had or because I’ll be jealous if it’s TJ?_

‘Wait, because _he’s_ your best friend, or because you don’t want him to be jealous?’ TJ asked at the same time, making me crack up. After a moment of surprise, TJ joined in.

We went back to playing Mario Kart. Three races in, TJ cleared his throat. ‘We’re cool right? You don’t feel like we can’t hang out?’

‘We’re cool…’ I bit my lip, not sure how to ask the question niggling at my brain.

‘You can tell Alex I confessed. It will be a big massive dramatic secret if you don’t.’ TJ, as usual, pre-empted me.

_He really is an amazing friend. I don’t know if I could be so… un-bitter if someone had gone for Alex._

_Oh you definitely couldn’t señor. You can barely handle someone showing interest in her now and you two are dating._

_Thanks Jack._

_Any time señor!_

‘Thanks. I didn’t want to go behind your back but… Well, the dramatic secret thing…’

‘For the record, I do like you guys as a couple.’ TJ took his seventh first place of the night. ‘Now, I’m going to hit the hay. ‘Night.’

‘Goodnight.’ I saw him out and lay on my bed, mind reeling. I was still there twenty minutes later when Alex padded in dressed in a dragon onesie and crawled into bed next to me.

‘Hey, how was game night?’ She asked, casually playing with my hair.

‘A little… I have to tell you something but I need you to not freak out.’ I blurted.

‘What, did you guys decide to play chicken?’ She laughed. This was unfortunately close enough to the truth for me to blush so she immediately tensed up. ‘Magnus? What happened?’

‘TJ… told me he used to like me. It was like three years ago but I didn’t want it to be one of those crappy sitcom things where I find out and cover it up and then it comes out and you’re like “I wouldn’t have worried but you kept it quiet so I have to wonder why” and it all goes nuts…’ I babbled, getting more and more nervous the longer she was quiet.

‘…Did he kiss you?’ She asked quietly.

‘What? Gods no! It wasn’t even a proper confession, he just wanted me to stop overthinking why he was a bit weird about us dating at first.’ I bit my lip. ‘And it was kind of awful. He talked about how, if he’d known we weren’t dating then he would have asked me out, and then he said he could see on my face it wouldn’t have made a difference if he did and… I didn’t _have_ a good reason. It’s not like he’s unpleasant or ugly or anything that would make me not want to date him he’s just not you and even before you kissed me I don’t think I could’ve gone through with dating someone else because I’d have felt too guilty and now-’

Alex cut me off kissing me. Like actually climbed on top of me and smothered my words with a kiss. She was shaking a little bit, and I wrapped my arms around her.

‘Alex?’

‘Are you sure?’ She whispered, her voice shaking.

‘Sure about what?’ I pulled her close, my mind racing.

‘Come on. TJ’s super nice. He doesn’t blow up over little things or need escape hatches or change his body or call you a dork… Dating him would be less work.’

Before I tell you what happened next, I want to be clear I am not proud of this emotional response. Sadly, I wasn’t expecting it and did not manage to smother it. I was _pissed._

‘So fucking what?’ I flipped us, a little surprised by how light she was. Without giving her time to respond, I kissed her, long enough to get light headed. ‘I keep telling you, none of this ‘work’ was a shock! You didn’t trick me into something here, Alex! I knew you when we started this. I knew you were hot-headed and inconsistent and can’t stand losing and hated commitment and love to tease me and are gender fluid! I fell in love with all of those things as much as how creative and funny and loyal and brave and terrifyingly powerful and gorgeous you are. And yeah, this means closing one escape hatch but you’re going to have to find different ones to work with because running away into the idea that I’ll start hating you is not an option!’

That’s when she turned into a wolf. Harsh but I really don’t blame her, she must’ve felt seriously cornered. I jumped off the bed with a yell and she changed back, gasping for air.

‘Alex… I’m so s-’

‘Not yet.’ She snapped. We sat in silence for a few minutes. (I took as a good sign she didn’t just run out.) She finally moved towards me. ‘Are you okay? I’m sorry for scaring you.’

‘That’s my line… I just…’

‘Snapped.’ Alex took a deep breath. ‘I never realised you’re physically stronger than me. I don’t think you used to be. I’ve kind of… noticed it a couple of times but always found excuses. That I was tired or emotional or something. I know you said some important stuff and I did listen but… I never realised I can’t necessarily get out if you pin me.’

‘Do you need me to back off the touchy feely stuff?’

‘I don’t actually know.’ She admitted. ‘Kinda wish you were still angry so I could check if you’ll listen if I tell you to get off.’

‘I’m pretty sure I would’ve but… Well that wouldn’t reassure me if our positions were reversed.’ I sighed. To my surprise, she moved into my side and wrapped her arms around my waist.

‘This is so fucking dangerous Magnus. Even when you’re the source of my freak out, you’re still my best source of calm too.’ She muttered.

I held her lightly, slowly pulling her closer as she relaxed until we were pressed together, her face in my neck, her body dead weight in my arms.

‘What the hell? Are you some kind of human tranquiliser?’ She mumbled.

‘I know words don’t mean much here but… I don’t want to hurt you. I got so mad in the first place because it felt like you were hurting yourself.’ I whispered.

‘Yeah?’ She sat up and looked me in the eyes, something sad and dangerous and terrifyingly _Loki_ in the uneven gaze. ‘So… Is that my new escape hatch? I can’t make you hate me but I can hurt you if I hurt myself?’

Icy cold terror flooded my stomach. ‘Alex! That’s not what I said.’

She laughed and suddenly she was Alex again. She kissed me gently. ‘I’m sorry, I’m okay now.’

_Now._

‘Can I still stay here? Or is that weird after a fight?’ She asked.

‘After all that, I _really_ want you to stay.’ I admitted. She was clingy all night, getting me to carry her into bed and pressing right against me in her sleep. I couldn’t tell if I’d broken through a barrier or just broken through her.

_How did this happen?_

_You two have been dating a while now señor. When you relax around each other, you control your behaviour less too._ Jack broke into my thoughts, surprisingly wise.

 _So what? I’m going to grab her without thinking_ more _? That’s not good!_

 _Isn’t it?_ Jack hummed a few bars of ‘Animal’ (Neon Trees). When this failed to give me an epiphany, he added. _People lower barriers when they’re in love. You’ve been holding back your impulsive side, she’s been holding back her weak one. You need to find a new balance, one where you aren’t both constantly watching yourselves together._

_I guess…_

_I know, señor. You crossed a line tonight, but you also told her how you feel without stammering or pausing once. You were all Chase, no Freyson._

All Chase, no Freyson… I kinda liked _that_.

The next day at Chase Space, Alex was back to normal. Not even acting normal, I couldn’t feel any hidden tension in her. I still made sure to ask.

‘Are you… okay, after last night?’

She went quiet, thinking for a minute. ‘Actually… Yeah. I had to resort to something underhanded but… I’m _not_ helpless if I get pinned like that. And… I guess I still don’t think you’d hurt me if you get mad.’ She grinned. ‘I mean come on, you were on a testosterone high, had me completely helpless and all I got was a kiss that barely counts as first base it was so closed-mouthed. Somehow I don’t see you forcefully stripping me to prove I’m ‘not really a girl’.’ She saw my face and cupped it gently. ‘Long time ago now, Mags. And I wouldn’t just tremble and cry if someone tried it again.’

I wrapped my arms around her waist. ‘When you say stuff like that… I want to change my answer to the ‘what if we were friends when we were alive?’ question to ‘I’d have punched a lot more people.’…’

‘I bet you would.’ She smiled. ‘It’s kinda nice. Scary, but nice.’

‘Scary?’

‘I think maybe… If you’re around, it’s okay not to be able to do it all myself.’ She elaborated. She spoke casually but she moved away to look out of the window so I couldn’t see her expression properly. (The tips of her ears were blushing though so I’m guessing her face was pretty red.)

‘I think… I’d like that.’ I started to say but she tensed up. ‘Lexie?’

‘You remember that whole discussion about how we should tell each other things before they become weird?’

‘…Yes?’

‘Before he comes inside and this becomes weird, you should know Nico Di Angelo is standing across the street.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is probably the longest chapter in this fic. I considered cutting a little but I liked the three scenes as they were. 
> 
> On the topic of the TJXMagnus tease... I've always thought they had potential as a couple, especially as it's canon that Magnus is at least not exclusively straight. However I strongly prefer AlexXMagnus XD. This was actually deliberately hinted at way back in chapter 3, with TJ being the one to blow up over Alex not committing to Magnus over the hotter-tempered Mallory. This isn't going love triangle though, TJ is completely sincere in being over Magnus. (Because I'm not that cruel to poor TJ XD)
> 
> Also I know Magnus himself admits to regretting it but this chapter is NOT meant to advocate angrily yelling your feelings at a skittish partner who you know has trust issues. Yes, in this situation, it broke down some barriers but a lot of that was situational. (Namely 1. Despite his shame over it, Magnus actually forced Alex into very little and nothing she was actually uncomfortable with outside of her general resistance to being pushed. 2. As Alex herself pointed out, she WAS in a position where she could reclaim her power, even though she was forced to use a method SHE isn't proud of (exploiting Magnus' fear of wolves) to do it. 3. After they broke apart Magnus made it clear he was sorry but then let the reconciliation happen on Alex' terms. Without all of those things being present it would have been a longer running issue in their relationship.)
> 
> Also, it took us a few chapters but I did promise we hadn't seen the last of Nico XD


	24. I am not cut out for parenting (Alex's POV)

‘You look like someone turned up the transparency dude.’ I told Nico, handing him a mug of cocoa.

He smiled wryly. ‘It’s been a while since I attempted more than local or underworld shadow travel. I was very mistaken about how much it would take out of me.’

‘Well sure.’ I nodded and sat next to him. ‘So… You here for us or just the free accommodation?’

‘I’m not staying. I won’t take a place from someone who needs it.’ Nico said at once, hugging his knees.

‘We have beds… Or we can smuggle you into the hotel, I’m very rarely in my own bed these days.’

Nico raised his eyebrows suggestively.

‘Get your mind out of the gutter, di Angelo, I’ll have you know it’s very pure and wholesome.’

‘So, Magnus doesn’t put out?’

‘No, he does not.’ I laughed.

‘Thanks darling.’ Magnus suddenly spoke from behind him, voice heavy with sarcasm.

I flushed, a little worried he was actually hurt by the flippant joke.

He kissed my cheek and handed me a mug of hot apple cordial, smelling faintly of cinnamon. ‘Almost everyone is happy to give you two space but Sasha’s determined to sneak in.’

‘Tell Nievita I’ll come talk to her later.’ I said quickly.

‘I know she’s a demigod. I’m not going to interfere.’ Nico sighed.

Magnus tensed, brows furrowing in confusion. (Awwww… He trusts me not to have spilled…)

‘You rely on your powers to lie Alex, if you’re not face to face you’re actually pretty bad, you drop clues everywhere.’ Nico explained. ‘I’ve known for a while.’

‘Well, that was a tense moment for nothing. I may conduct part of this heart to heart with an adorable little ice demon on my person.’

Nico nodded and focussed on his drink. The unspoken question filled the space. _Why_ did _you risk your life shadow travelling to Boston?_ He ignored it, but up close I could see things that phone calls and the occasional Iris message hadn’t shown: faint shadows around his eyes and a dullness in his gaze, his lips in shreds from constantly biting them, his hair carefully brushed flat instead of his usual careless shagginess.

‘I’m going to be around if you need me, okay Al?’ Magnus asked, one hand pressing lightly on my back.

‘Thanks Querido. I’ll call for you.’ I stood up to kiss him. (Partly because Magnus kisses are better than chocolate, partly because even if he was trying to be cool about it, I know he’s a little insecure about Nico still.)

He smiled and slipped out tactfully.

Nico watched him go, shattered-glass eyes following him warily. ‘Seems like you didn’t screw up his birthday.’

‘I got Annabeth out here and arranged a camping trip and some new clothes… Plus your flower idea went down great; he loves them. Hasn’t let them die yet.’ I sat down next to him and sipped my juice.

‘I’m glad.’ Nico began chewing his lip once more.

‘I take it you haven’t found an answer to your problem.’ I sighed.

‘Actually, I have.’ Nico took a deep breath. ‘I’m moving to New Rome. It’ll be good, being near my sister. And… I don’t think he’ll ever be harsh enough to admit he made a mistake. It’s better just to cut him loose; that way I’m the bad guy and no matter how quickly he moves on, nobody will judge him. Apollo kids have an awful rep for that.’

‘Nico, what the hell! You can’t drop a bombshell like that on someone then leave the state without a word!’ I stared.

‘I left a note.’ Nico shrugged. ‘If I broke down telling him, he’d just go all mushy and feel guilty about it, that’s not the point.’

‘You realise you sound crazy here?’

‘How well do you know Will?’ Nico asked, raising an eyebrow.

‘See that’s not fair, you know I’ve barely spoken to him.’

‘Exactly. He’s… painfully kind. I’ve been by his side for more than four years, I know that better than anyone. He can’t leave a person who needs him alone. And I really needed him. I was… barely hanging on to life after the war. And I didn’t have as much drive to fight for it as I should have. When I asked him out… He must have been in a position where he was really worried about how hard I’d take it if he said no… Especially as I’d told him about the Cupid thing.’ Nico shivered.

‘Cupid thing?’ I asked, mostly to stall and give me time to think of a good counter argument.

‘…I’ve hated myself for being… y’know… for as long as I can remember. Four years ago… I had to face Cupid and he used it to torment me.’ Nico shuddered, looking briefly like he might be sick.

‘You still can’t say the word?’ I asked, trying not to get mad.

‘Not easily.’ Nico hung his head. ‘I’m better than I was. I’m proud to be dating a guy and I don’t care who knows. But actually using _that_ to describe myself… It feels like signing my death warrant.’ Nico’s voice dropped to a whisper. ‘And I don’t want to go through falling for someone who isn’t again.’

I was about to tear into him when I remembered Adrian. And how it felt to have the way you were hurt someone you loved. Instead, I said. ‘…Look. I know I’m very… vocal about what I am. And honestly, I do think you should be. But… you’re right. It’s scary. But do you _really_ think a teenager’s going to pity date for four years?’

‘But I don’t get any better.’ Anger and self-loathing coloured Nico’s voice a dark, absorbing colour that made the hairs on the back of my neck rise. I’d heard that voice. That was the voice of someone who barely thought they deserved to be alive. ‘I’ve been… trying. But I keep back sliding. Every little thing sends me right back to where I was four years ago; curled up in a jar trying not to die.’ (For the record, _that_ is a story I didn’t hear the full explanation of for another few months. And when I did it made me weep.) ‘Except this time someone else gets stuck with the job of pulling me back from the brink.’

‘Okay… Now I’m getting it.’ I sighed. ‘Your worried that your relationship is becoming abusive and that Will’s scared to break it off because he knows better than anyone that you’re a little mentally fragile… So you want to do it for him, in such a dickish way that nobody can fault him for giving up. You realise that’s dangerously close to a suicide step right? Arranging it so your loved ones don’t have to worry.’

‘Even if I did, death for me is just going home.’ Nico laughed bitterly. ‘Home to Papa.’

Impulsively I crossed the room and hugged him hard. ‘Don’t. Don’t joke about it, don’t talk about it, don’t _think_ about it!’ Anger burned in me, red hot, but I kept playing Magnus’ voice coaching me through those breathing exercises his mom taught him in my head, forcing my hands to stay down and my mouth to stay shut.

‘Calm down. Hazel’s lost enough people, I won’t do that to her.’ He patted my back awkwardly. ‘Now stop touching me or I’m going to murder you by accident.’

I thought he was joking but when I pulled back my palms were almost black and impossibly painful.

‘…Maybe you should have some ambrosia… But I don’t know what it’ll do to your body.’ Nico began to fret.

‘…Damn it all, this officially meets my promise…’ I raised my voice and yelled for Magnus. He was there in less than two minutes, and bursting with barely contained wrath when he saw my hands. Nico didn’t exactly help the situation by retreating into himself and killing the pot plant next to him.

Magnus took my hands in his and started to glow a soft, summery gold. From the flickering of his gaze, I think I accidentally unloaded a lot of what had just happened into his brain. When my hands were as good as new, he dragged me close and kissed me hard enough to blank out my brain.

‘If you’re trying to literally kiss me better, that better not be your latest strategy in the world of healing.’ I quipped, trying not to show that I was basically putty in his arms.

He gave me one of his slanted, wry half smiles and pressed a soft, light kiss to my forehead. ‘Only for you.’

Nico cleared his throat. ‘I’ll leave you to it. Just wanted to say ‘bye’ to Alex before I go across the country.’

‘Nico wait…’ I forced myself to pull away from Magnus. ‘At least stay the night, get your strength back, make a game plan of _how_ to cross the country without dying.’

‘…Fine. For you.’ He huffed. ‘I’m going to find somewhere to sleep.’

‘You should stay here.’ Magnus broke in. ‘I’m serious, not even just over night. Now we know you’re not going to try and take her… There’s stuff we need to check we’re doing right for Sasha.’

‘If Micah sees me, he’ll skip town faster than you can say ‘Wait, how do you know Micah?’.’ Nico sighed.

‘Then come to the hotel. We _can_ get visitor passes. And like I said, I very rarely sleep in my bed. If Mags wants space, I can camp on the floor. I prefer to anyway.’ I did my best to look appealing.

‘…Fine. Just for a bit.’ Nico sighed.

‘We’ll show you the way later. For now, why don’t you take a nap?’ I suggested.

Nico shook his head. ‘I’ll help out. Do laundry or something.’

I don’t know what Nico ended up doing, since as soon as I walked out the door a small, icy cold Sasha attached herself to me and demanded I come see her new school stuff. In light of the monster problem, we had (very illegally) started homeschooling her. I spent the afternoon trying to coach her on spelling. She was miles behind her age, still struggling with short words like ‘spring’ and ‘fresh’. It wasn’t something I was a natural at, teaching. It was hard not to get impatient, but I think I managed to keep it under wraps. Still… it explained why she was finding sign language so hard, if she couldn’t read to start with.

Since we were going to have a guest, I snatched a minute alone with Magnus in the library.

‘You doing okay? This is all a bit… Hard.’ I coaxed him to sit so I could play with his hair.

‘I am… Worried though.’ He sighed, leaning into my touches. ‘I don’t really know how to handle that kind of magic… But I’m scared if he leaves now we’re sending him to his death.’

‘He didn’t attack me on purpose you know?’

‘I know. It’s like when I first used _Peace of Frey_ … Magic leaks out sometimes, not his fault that his destroys people.’ Magnus caught one of my arms and kissed the inside of my wrist, making my breathing hitch. (Although I don’t think he noticed.) ‘I kinda want to know why Micah would run away from him.’

‘He’s Roman, not Greek – Micah I mean. Deserting is a punishable offence.’ I sighed too. ‘Speaking of demigods… Sasha’s further behind with school than I realised.’

‘Annabeth told me most demigods are dyslexic because their brains reject modern language. Not to mention, getting moved around so much she probably missed a lot of school. We just have to be patient.’ Magnus looked up, searching my face. ‘What’s bothering you?’

‘…I’m not good at that kind of patient. I’m not so worried about bolting on you all anymore but… it’s still a lot of pressure having her so attached to me. I feel like I have to kind of ‘raise’ her and if I fuck it up it’s her life that’s ruined and that’s on me. Even before I died, I never planned on having kids. Definitely not a ten year old at nineteen. I feel like a bitch but it winds me up that she can’t do it.’ I admitted.

Magnus squeezed my hands. ‘I get it. We’re too young for this. There are ways around that though. You can tell her that you’re not her teacher, or that when she does school time with you she learns art or just keep sessions short. You don’t need to do everything… And when she’s really going to need you is when she’s at the age you’re best with; teenagers. That emotional, finding yourself stuff… I can listen to her take an hour to spell “magic” right but I have no idea how to help with that. And… Well, I’m super grateful that you help out here but I’m the one who traded godly favours to set this place up… it’s my responsibility but if it’s too much, you are free to bail.’

‘You might forgive me for that, but I wouldn’t.’ I smiled and moved to straddle his lap. ‘Thanks for the escape hatch.’

He blushed and rested his hands on my waist. ‘I worry about this place… I set it up but I can’t always be here. I can’t even regularly be here, there are going to be times when I need to fade out until I can plausibly be my own teenaged son…’

I laughed, picturing that. ‘I am not playing your sibling, that would be creepy.’

‘Why would you be my teenaged child?’ He laughed too.

‘Because clearly I’m the mother of your teenaged son so we need to explain the resemblance of _my_ teenaged child.’ I grinned.


	25. A day for demigods on the doorstep (Magnus' POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning, this chapter is largely devoted to the Solangelo subplot, as the next will be. Anyone completely uninterested in that may find this one a bit of a slog, but it does set up some stuff for our star couple.

** Chapter 25: A day for demigods on the doorstep (Magnus’ POV) **

After healing Alex’s hands, I accidentally had a vague but sufficient picture of what was going on. Certainly enough to understand why, when we stepped out to go back to the hotel, there was yet another angry, dishevelled demigod waiting on the street.

Nico went from gloomy to fury incarnate in a heartbeat. ‘What the hell do you think you’re doing? You could have died!’

Will laughed bitterly. ‘I didn’t come here for you to steal my lines Nico!’

From everything I’d been told of Nico, I was bracing myself for a skeletal army to rise from the deep. Instead he turned and started to flounce off.

‘Noooo, idiot.’ Alex whispered. (I’m not sure if she was joking uncomfortably or just plain too scared to yell it after him.)

Unaffected by this display of drama, Will darted across the road and grabbed Nico’s arm. Nico jerked, going even paler.

‘Are you crazy?! What happens if I go off?!’ He yelped, struggling.

‘So do it! Go ahead! If you’re the cold, heartless Ghost King who can up and leave and never look back, go ahead and blast me.’ Will shot back calmly.

I grabbed Alex, hoping to get us both out of the blast radius. I guessed we were 50/50 on Nico blowing up or breaking down. I was not ready for him to blush bright red and mutter: ‘Can you just _once_ fight fair.’

‘Sure. As soon as you play fair and tell me what’s going on instead of leaving a note saying you’re leaving for New Rome!’ Will snapped.

‘Why, dude, he just calmed down.’ I mumbled.

‘If you thought I was going southwest how on earth did you track me north to Boston?’ Nico protested.

Will rolled his eyes. ‘How badly do you think I know you? You never let your friends down and leaving Alex without saying goodbye would be letting…’ He glanced up at Alex here.

‘Her.’ Alex supplied helpfully.

‘Letting her down.’

As quickly as his temper had cooled, Nico flared back up. ‘So why make this so damn hard on me?!’

‘Two reasons! One: I think I also know you well enough to know you’re still in love with me! Two: even if you’re not, what the _hell_ did I do to deserve you lying to me and breaking up with me in a _note_?’

‘A note?’ I muttered.

‘You missed that bit earlier? Nico left a note so Will wouldn’t look shallow when he moved on.’ Alex explained in a hiss.

‘Thanks.’

‘When did I ever lie to you?!’ Nico demanded, eyes flashing with a hint of black. (Oh yeah, Annabeth told me when they met his eyes were as dark as midnight.)

‘When I _asked_ you if you ever thought about leaving Camp Halfblood, like to go live with your sister, and you told me no!’ Will retorted.

‘People can change their minds!’

‘That completely in less than a month?!’

They both fell silent for a moment, glaring intensely.

‘…Fine.’ Nico shook Will off, ran over and grabbed my arm. ‘You’re right, I did lie to you. You won’t shut up about me “needing a doctor” so I decided to change practices.’

_Jack, I don’t say this often but please help me!_

_Run for your life se_ _ñor, if he is anything like his dad that Will kid is going to burn you alive for this._

_HE’S GOING TO WHAT?!_

Will spoke through gritted teeth. ‘And that means we have to break up?’

‘Read between the lines.’ Nico huffed.

‘HEY!’ Alex yelled. As always, if she wanted people to stop and listen, they damn well stopped and listened. Even Jack stopped rambling about how much he didn’t like Apollo and waited in respectful silence. ‘It is _late_ , we are all _tired_ and Sunshine Boy here has blood stains on his parka. Let’s get back to the hotel, regroup and you two can fight more after dinner.’

‘Fine. Don’t chicken out, Nico.’ Will huffed.

‘I don’t chicken out of anything!’ Nico muttered.

_Se_ _ñor…_

_Yeah Jack?_

_Doesn’t that mean you’re going to end up alone with Green-Eyes-that-are-actually-blue?_

_Oh shit._

Sure enough, when we got to the hotel, Alex bundled Nico off into her room and hit me with the puppy dog eyes, asking me to heal Will. When I got his coat and shirt off, I could see his arm was neatly bound.

‘Umm… So I can barely feel the wound under here…’ I admitted.

‘You’re a healer, I’m a doctor.’ Will ran his hand through his hair, more matter of fact than arrogant. ‘I don’t have enough magic to just fix an injury, I have to know how to treat it.’

‘That’s… impressive.’

Will looked at me for a long moment and sighed. ‘Look… Don’t worry, I’m not going to start yelling at you. I don’t really do angry.’ He broke into a soft smile. ‘There’s only one guy who gets under my skin enough for that.’

‘Wait… I thought you weren’t all that into him?’ I blurted, nerves getting the better of me.

Will’s eyebrows almost launched themselves off his face they shot up so quickly. ‘What on earth gave you _that_ idea?’

‘Um… Nico?’

_You are not nailing this Se_ _ñor._

_Thanks Jack, I had a feeling._

All the colour drained from Will’s face and he dropped to the floor. I was used to thinking of him as this calm, composed, talented adult – it was freaky seeing him suddenly look like a lost kid. ‘Still?’

‘Still?’ I repeated, now thoroughly confused.

Will ran his hand through his hair again. ‘It’s come up… Once or twice… Nico has a _lot_ of confidence in most aspects of his life but… his own lovability is _not_ one of them.’

_Ohh… Starting to see why he and Alex see eye to eye so much._

‘Well… Yes, it did… ‘come up’.’ I admitted.

Will rumpled his own head until he looked like he’d been plugged into a socket. ‘I don’t know what to do. I come on too strong and he bolts so fast it nearly kills him – and I mean that literally, the first time I told him I love him he shadow jumped to get away, misjudged his own strength and direction, came out over the lake and dropped into it unconscious. But if I go at his pace he has no faith in me…’

‘Okay… Um… I’m usually the last person to offer… any kind of dating advice but… Well, I think maybe out situations are a little similar…’ I offered.

‘Are they? Because Alex seems perfectly clear that you’re wrapped around her little finger.’

‘His.’ I corrected automatically.

‘Huh?’ Will frowned.

‘I… Part of my powers… Tune me into the shift. If I’m close enough when it happens, I know it’s happened.’ I explained, blushing.

‘Lucky… I get a lot from my dad but empathy powers is not one of them.’ Will sighed.

‘Look… I’m just saying… The first time I tried to tell Alex I love him, he turned into a wolf.’ I explained.

‘Is that why you waited three years to ask him out?’

‘…No this happened two months ago, at Thanksgiving.’ I admitted.

Will raised his eyebrows. ‘It sounds like fooling around, rather than help your relationship, caused it to stagnate.’

I wanted to protest but… Well, it _is_ true I’ve gotten closer to Alex in the past two months than I did in the three and a half years before them…

‘No. Scratch that. I’m being a diva.’ Will attacked his hair once more. ‘I’m sorry. You’re trying to help and clearly what I’m doing isn’t working.’

‘Well… Um…’ I thought back. ‘I guess… Up until now I tended to… Keep quiet if something bugged me? And now we talk a lot more so stuff gets… handled.’

Will visibly made an effort not to tell me how little he thought of my advice. ‘That’s… great. I mean, trying to talk it out _has_ occurred to me but you weren’t to know that so thank you.’

‘Okay so… Looking back I feel like… Maybe Alex tends to be the one making the first move on me a lot? He’s the one who got mad at me for not admitting I wanted us to date, he’s the one who started making an effort to come apologise after we fought, he’s the one who opened up about how our routine was stifling him… I think I just follow him a lot.’ I blurted.

‘…Sounds like you don’t like being that passive in your relationship but you don’t know how to change it without overstepping your partner’s boundaries.’ Will raised his eyebrows. ‘I have lots of sympathy but as I mentioned… What I do clearly isn’t working.’

‘So you feel passive sometimes?’

‘No. But I _do_ struggle with deepening our relationship when Nico lives his life with one foot out of the door.’ Will put his head in his hands. ‘I am not built for subtle. I’m 50% nurse-who-can’t-afford-to-mince-her-words, 50% diva. I wish it was as simple as screaming from the roof tops that I’m in love with him so much that it hurts but I’m scared shitless of coming on so strong he runs for the hills. The first few times I flirted with him he looked at me like I had three heads.’

‘…Can I just ask? How long has it been _since_ you came on strong?’ Bits and pieces of different conversations were starting to come together in my mind.

Will finally looked like something I’d said was hitting home. ‘I guess… a while. And… Well, I maybe haven’t been my usual self lately…’

‘Okay… Why not?’

Will looked sheepish. ‘Because Nico was really excited to be invited to the Jacksons’ thanksgiving.’

‘And?...’

‘You don’t know? Percy is Nico’s first love. He’s the one that got away, the guy that trampled his heart and made him feel like nobody even notices him, let alone cares.’ Anger and bitterness radiated out of Will like heat. ‘And yet an invitation from him still sends Nico over the moon.’

‘Don’t you think it’s a little… bad… to be that jealous after so long?’ I ventured.

‘Honestly? Yeah. I hate myself for it. But I feel it too. I feel like… If Percy was bi, if Annabeth wasn’t in the picture… Nico wouldn’t have settled? And then I think about how it feels when he looks at me across the table, or the pitch of his voice when he- never mind.’ Will blushed. ‘Point is… I don’t always think he’s going to leave me. Most of the time, I feel like he’s really in love with me.’

‘Did you tell him you were jealous?’

‘I did. It pissed him off. He got all defensive about it.’ Will scowled and ran his hands through his hair again.

‘…Hear me out here. Maybe he still does have feelings but not that kind.’ I took a deep breath. Will didn’t try to set me on fire, so I took that as an invitation to continue. ‘You and Nico got together at fourteen. For him to have liked Percy for that long, the crush must have developed when he was about 11… At that age, it’s less about who you want to be _with_ and more who you just want to _be_. Maybe he’s just embarrassed that after all this time, it still means something to him that his old idol notices him now.’ I flushed. ‘I don’t have a lot of experience. But… I do end up reading people’s memories sometimes. And I know that Alex still has a lot of baggage from _his_ first love… But I also know how much he loves me. And for me… I don’t really have one. I kissed a girl I didn’t like much in high school but I didn’t meet anyone who drove me crazy until Alex.’

‘I kissed… honestly too many boys before Nico.’ Will sighed. ‘But none of them meant much. I’m so… dispassionate. Maybe it’s just how I was brought up but I don’t seem to get those big swings of emotion al my siblings do. And then I met him. And suddenly… I was desperate for his attention. But he ditched the whole camp and I tried to forget him… Yet when he came back I was as desperate as ever. He asked me out but honestly I could not have been more obvious.’

‘I know that feeling.’ I flushed.

‘Well.. The whole ‘doctor’ thing really hit too close to home.’ Will blushed too. With his red face, messed up hair and hangdog expression he didn’t even look cool anymore. ‘I kinda… used it as an excuse to spend time with him at first. I mean, he did genuinely need the care and I never let my feelings compromise that but…’

Finally, the last piece clicked.

‘Tell him _that_.’ I interrupted.

‘That I get why he wants a ‘new doctor’?’ Will looked baffled.

‘No. Tell him you used it as an excuse to get close to him. _That’s_ the barrier you keep tripping over!’


	26. The one before I deep clean my room (Alex's POV)

‘If you want too go all time bomb, I keep a stock of smashable pots.’ I blurted, as soon as the door closed.

Nico shook his head mutely, lips pressed together hard. ‘I really thought this would be enough to cut him loose.’

‘…Okay, at the risk of sounding like a broken record… At any point in the process, did you think that maybe he doesn’t _want_ to break up with you?’ I offer.

Nico goes bright red and suddenly I get it. (And yes, I am aware that I, of all people, should have gotten this sooner.)

‘…You can’t, can you? Because if he doesn’t want to break up with you, if he’s really as in love as you are… Then the escape hatch slams shut and you two are linked forever. You can’t leave without ripping off a piece of yourself.’ I whispered.

Nico hugged himself, trembling. ‘Will’s… completely gay. And hardwired to be attracted to beauty, more than a regular guy. That’s not going to happen. He’s not going to seriously fall for a half-skeleton boy, who’s more skill than muscle and can’t grow facial hair.’

‘I’m sorry, we’ll get back to the friend thing in a moment, you can’t grow facial hair either?’ I dragged him over to my sofa.

‘I am not having this conversation with you Alex.’

‘Come on, guy talk!’

‘First of all, that’s not guy talk, second of all you’re a girl.’

‘First of all, that’s crap, guy talk is whatever we want it to be and second of all, not anymore. Changed a few seconds ago… It tends to happen more frequently when I’m hyped up.’ I shrugged.

‘…Fine. No, I can’t. No son of Hades ever has although that’s a freakishly small sample size as almost all his kids are girls. I barely have enough body hair for hygiene purposes, see?’ He rolled up his sleeve and showed me he did indeed have barely any arm hair. (I was also relieved to see no cuts.)

‘I never would have guessed. The hair on your head’s so thick and shiny.’ I mused.

‘I wanted to grow it out into one of those gothic fringes but it messed with my depth perception.’ He sighed. ‘Alex? I will guy talk with you sometimes but today I don’t really want to talk about my hair.’

‘I want to preface this next statement with: if you act on it I _will_ toss you onto the world tree and let the squirrel take you. You’re more attractive than you realise; Magnus thinks so. He was worried I’d fall for you.’ I studied Nico very carefully for any signs of excitement or longing. He seemed rudely unflattered.

‘Alex, no offense, but I don’t think someone who’s into you is a good barometer of whether I have a high level of manly beauty.’ Nico huffed.

I stalked across the room and kicked a pot into the wall, shattering it. ‘You know what? Yeah, you’re miserable right now but _offense_. You don’t get to tell me and my boyfriend what we think ‘manly’ should look like. And you know what? You don’t get to tell _your_ boyfriend what ‘manly’ should look like! Your body might have come to the 21st century but your brain is still all 40s! Gay men don’t have to be exclusively attracted to burly musclemen with massive beards! For that matter, where does that leave you?’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Nico got up and yelled. _Okay, we’re doing it this way._

‘In case you haven’t noticed, your precious sunshine boy isn’t very manly either! He’s so baby faced, if he knelt down and sucked a lollipop you could use him to bait predators!’

‘So sorry my type isn’t lanky, soulful and too shy to function!’

So, I’ve never been great with people tearing down someone who wasn’t there to defend themselves. (Hypocritical I know, given the current situation.) And it turns out I’m particularly not okay with someone tearing down Magnus, who is already so dense about how gorgeous he is.

‘¡Vete al diablo!’ I flipped him off. The angry colour in his face suggested someone, maybe Leo, had taught him enough Spanish to get the gist.

‘Go yourself! What the hell did I do in my life to end up in a completely different Pantheon’s afterlife, screaming at my best friend about who’s boyfriend is _hotter_?!’ Nico stamped his foot.

Something went squish in my heart. ‘I’m your best friend?’

‘…Kinda…’ Nico blushed. ‘I… I love how welcome the prophecy gang make me but… I never belonged to them. And… my main friend there was Jason. When we lost him… Nobody else got that close. And then you and I kind of clicked… I don’t have to censor myself with you. I can say whatever macabre, irreverent or just plain stupid thing I want and it doesn’t freak you out.’

‘…I would like to hug you now.’ I croaked.

‘…I guess, once in a while, that wouldn’t be too bad…’

We were hugging (and maybe sniffling a little bit) when said sources of the argument knocked.

‘Al, can I come in?’ Magnus called out softly.

‘As long as nobody has a lollipop!’ Nico answered. We both dissolved into laughter as the blonds walked in.

Will came straight over. ‘Okay, before anything else, there’s something I need to clear up… I owe you an apology.’

‘Historically, I’m sure that’s true.’ I quipped, mostly in the hopes it would occur to them to maybe have this conversation with me _not_ literally right next to Nico. (They were too fixated on each other to care, but Magnus came over and pulled me in to him.)

‘What for?’ Nico folded his arms, all defiant and defensive.

‘I came on too strong after the war… I abused my position as head doctor to get close to you and… That wasn’t fair. I’m sorry… I get why you want to… get away from that.’ Will hung his head, making it more obvious that he seemed to have tried to imitate a troll doll.

‘What did you say?’ Nico whispered, voice and body trembling.

Will winced, visibly ashamed. ‘That… I used the fact I could help improve your health as an excuse to spend time with you. I really did seriously try and help with it! I swear, I never put wooing you above healing you but… I know it was creepy. I just thought… ‘There’s no way a guy like that will notice me if I don’t try hard.’… And I wanted you to notice me, so so bad Nico.’

Nico slammed into Will so hard they both fell on the floor, Will flat on his back, Nico sprawled on top of him crying like a damn had burst.

‘I thought- I thought you felt obliged to indulge me- because of the health thing.’ Nico sobbed out.

Shock and pain spread across Will’s face and he wrapped his arms tightly around Nico. ‘Let me make one thing clear, Niccolò Ardito di Angelo, I have and will go on to do a _lot_ of things for your sake… But romancing you has always been for my own. I… I know it’s not easy for you to talk about stuff like this but… I love you more than the midwinter sunrise.’

I have no idea why the midwinter sunrise is so loveable to Will, but clearly the comparison meant a lot to Nico because he started trying to devour Will right on my floor.

I looked up at Magnus. ‘I feel like we should get out of here?’

‘I really hope you’re not squeamish about people doing stuff in your room.’

‘Come on Mags, I’ve lived in squats before. You can’t afford to be squeamish.’ We went back across the hall and cuddled up on the sofa.

‘I can’t believe after four years they hadn’t cleared up such a simple thing about their relationship.’ Magnus remarked.

‘I can. They both saw it as the lie they built their relationship on. They wanted to do anything to protect that until they couldn’t anymore.’ I traced his jaw. ‘A little like I tried to cling to the lie that I wasn’t head over heels for you until Sam pointed out that meant anyone could try and swoop in and steal you.’

‘You’re adorable Alex.’ Magnus stiffened slightly after saying it, looking worried.

‘…It’s okay. I don’t really like weak words but… You’re good at handling too conflicting extremes. I think you can see me as adorable while remembering I can murder you in ten seconds flat.’ I laughed.

Magnus joined in and flopped back, pulling me down on top of him. ‘But seriously… Is there anything about how we got together that bothers you?’

‘…Not in a ‘I think we’ll fight about this four years later’ way. I do regret not being strong enough to tell you I loved you sooner.’ I admitted, playing with his hair. ‘You?’

‘Not about how we got together exactly… or that’s only part of it. I think… I’ve realised I can be a bit passive? You’re always the one making the moves. I never know when to make them or where the lines are… I guess I worry about seeming uninterested?’ His voice trailed to an uncertain whisper.

I kissed him softly. ‘See… This is a surprise to me. Because to me… It feels like you’re the one always reaching out to me, making me belong with you and this family you built. Yeah, you don’t make big swings but… You also respect that I’m not great with big swings. That some things still scare me. You might not have been the one to kiss me first, but you were the one who kept approaching me when I shut everyone out, you were the one who admitted your feelings in front of a whole army, you’re the one who let me take this at my own pace until even I realised that… You want more than a quick fuck with someone exotic. You came up with a romantic and exciting date when I was feeling stifled and you always notice when I’m not okay and you don’t force me to talk about it, but without letting anyone else notice it, you give me a chance to talk and just… have my back. If anything, I worry _I’m_ not putting enough into this relationship to keep up.’

‘Dude. _Please_ cut yourself some slack.’ Magnus responded surprisingly. ‘I know. We have a weird relationship. We don’t have much time for dates, we’re both dead and I’m not great with touching so even though I’m twenty and you’re almost twenty, we’re… not really that close to sex yet after two months. But you show me how much you love me _all the time_. I don’t think I could have relaxed around… _anyone_ else the way you helped me relax after the first time I… finished. You’ve never made me feel guilty about that. You never let anyone give me crap, even when I decide to let it slide. You’ve made a huge effort to get better with the commitment thing and the temper stuff… You’re an amazing partner.’

‘Since when do you go tactfully gender neutral?’ I asked, even though I already knew.

‘You feel kinda… in flux at the moment. Usually I know which you are but…’

‘Well you’re right. I’m not quite sure at the moment either.’ I burrowed into him.

The next morning Nico and Will both looked like they’d slept better than they had in a long time. (Although from the noise, I’m surprised they found the time.) They were also joined at the hip, literally pressed up against each other.

‘So… I take it wherever you’re living, you’re living together?’ I asked.

They exchanged glances.

‘We haven’t made up our minds yet.’ Nico shrugged.

‘There’s a lot to consider… We are thinking about moving on from Camp Half Blood but I’d need to arrange for take over at the infirmary.’ Will clarified.

‘And while New Rome would be great for how close it is to Hazel… There’s other stuff I _don’t_ like about it.’ Nico added.

‘But… Well, there’s no huge rush. And we do know that… we both want to go together, wherever that is.’ Will kissed him then, brief but full of passion. When we met at Thanksgiving, I thought their relationship reminded me of Blitzen and Hearthstone; very gentle and subtle. Now that I knew them better… I was starting to understand that was their “strained” relationship, that the real thing was something a little harder for me to follow. Something explosive and sometimes bittersweet but clearly very real.

‘Stay in touch Nico… Its been a while since I had a best friend.’ I stepped forward and hugged him.

‘Always.’ Nico promised. ‘I’ll see you at the wedding, okay?’

‘Are you sure you’ll be okay going to that?’ Magnus asked Will outright.

‘Honestly, he was so genuinely happy to hear about it that I feel like an idiot for getting jealous.’ Will laughed and ran his hands down Nico’s sides. It was a little nerve wracking for me… But I could also see from the soft smile on Nico’s face that the PDA was welcome.

I guess, even if I identify with Nico a lot, we’re not the same.

‘Wellllll… I get it. I can’t stand it when someone else is flirting with you.’ Nico crooked a finger through Will’s camp necklace and pulled him into another kiss. (I swear, I never would have pegged him as coquettish. This is a day of revelations.)

‘I know you can’t sweetheart, you are not subtle.’ Will laughed and hugged him tight. ‘We better go… I kind of found the note and ran out without a word, so given my siblings it’s fifty-fifty whether they figured out exactly what happened and handled it perfectly or hyped each other into hysteria and think Nico and I enacted a murder-suicide pack.’

‘What?’ Magnus deadpanned.

‘Think of the Apollo cabin like the characters of Glee on caffeine.’ Will explained.

‘He’s not kidding. There are only so many times I can take spontaneous bursts of song in a week.’ Nico grinned.

‘Oh please, you love it, ‘ _Call me maybe’_.’ Will smirked.

‘WILL!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I didn't entirely have time for this three chapter blitz this week but the words wouldn't stop flowing XD For those keeping track, this is the end of the Solangelo subplot. I apologise for the surprising amount of emotional distress caused by it. 
> 
> Also, a quick note to any Spanish speaking readers: I speak very little Spanish, so I'm largely dependent on online translators. I'm given to understand that "Vete al diablo", while literally meaning "Go to the devil" is colloquially similar to the English phrase "Go to hell" and more commonly used in that context than the literal translation of the phrase "Vete al infierno". If this is wrong PLEASE correct me. I used the Spanish phrase to convey Alex hitting a point of anger where he fell back on childhood speech habits where he was freer to express his bilingualism but the last thing I want is any insensitivity caused by my reliance on translation software.


	27. Calling out Mack (Magnus' POV)

There was a weird atmosphere at breakfast. At first, I blamed it on us being late until Mallory cleared her throat.

‘So… Sounded like you two were having a good night.’

_Huh? We didn’t speak to anyone last night?_

TJ grinned and nudged me. ‘Finally let Alex in your pants huh?’

Realisation dawned on me as Alex gently nudged my calf and tapped his hands together in a cross discreetly under the table, sign language for trust.

Then he said out loud, very casually. ‘Nah… Mags just isn’t ready to put out. I had a couple of demigods in my room last night.’

Keeping my face straight there was almost as difficult as flyting with Loki. The sheer shock coupled with the fact that every word he said was technically true and the couldn’t-care-less look on his face… It was hysterical.

TJ dropped his fork, Halfborn dropped his jaw and Mallory dropped the most impressive string of cursewords I’ve ever heard.

‘Hey, don’t look at me like that guys! I checked he was okay with it first, right Magnus?’ Alex laid his head on my shoulder.

_Okay, I can do this._

_I BELIEVE IN YOU!_ Jack cheered in my head.

Fighting to keep my face straight I nodded, adding: ‘I mean… It was really important to Alex. Not to mention I like those guys a lot and I think they really needed last night… But I couldn’t be involved in something like that. I wouldn’t know how to start.’

‘ _Ay querido,_ if it’s just lack of experience getting you down, I can fix that.’ Alex practically purred.

_Houston, we have a different problem…_

_Think about poodles señor… THINK ABOUT POODLES!_

_WHY POODLES?_

_WHAT? ARE YOU SAYING YOU THINK POODLES ARE SEXY?!_

_OF COURSE I DON’T!_

‘Oi!’ Mallory butted in. ‘I always thought it was an oppressive stereotype that queer people are freaky in bed but don’t you go dragging sweet little Magnus into whatever that was!’

‘Fucking hell Mall! I wasn’t in there with them, no need to bitch me out!’ Alex retorted, visibly rattled.

‘You weren’t- what?’ They all stared.

I took over, since I could see Alex was struggling with his temper. ‘Okay, so you know we met some of Annabeth’s friends at Thanksgiving? And Alex has been long distance friendship-ing this Nico guy?’

‘Yeah?...’ TJ looked mystified still.

‘Nico had a huge fight with his boyfriend and came here to see Alex… Only his boyfriend came after him and they talked some stuff out. What you all heard was… um… make up sex I guess?’ Ugh, I was blushing like a middle schooler just talking about it… ‘Alex let them have his room because he could see they needed to be together like that. He was never part of the equation, he just helped out his friend.’

Mallory reached over and lightly punched Alex’s arm. ‘So why did you lead us on to think you had a three way if you were going to get upset when we believed you had a three way?!’

‘…Why the fuck would me being ‘queer’ affect whether I would have a three way?’ Alex took a deep breath, his tone fairly level.

Mallory frowned. ‘But I _said_ I thought it was a dumb, untrue stereotype-’

‘Until you met _one_ person who, to your knowledge might fit the bill? My dad is the straightest, cis-est, most capitalist, prejudiced man you’ll ever meet and he had all kinds of freaky affairs. But that’s out of the ordinary because nice ‘normal’ people don’t do that. You could have blamed my dad for me ‘doing’ that, or my mom, or just plain said you didn’t expect it from me but you said _that_. _That_ stereotype was the first thing you thought of when you thought ‘Alex has a three way’…’ By now, Alex was mad enough to stand up. ‘And even when you thought it was something I did with Magnus’ full knowledge and consent, you accuse me of corrupting him! Literally, before the three way even came up, I said if he didn’t want sex he didn’t have to be involved in it! Insulting me was bad enough, did you even realise you were insulting him too? What, you think he can’t say when he doesn’t like something?’ Alex’s volume and tempo were creeping up.

Impulsively, I reached out and put my hand on his arm. He swatted me away reflexively and then turned, his eyes apologetic and pleading. I just held out my hand steadily… And to my surprise he took it, kissed the back and sat back down, looking calmer.

‘…I’m sorry.’ Mallory spoke unusually gently. ‘I guess… Even though I thought I didn’t believe in it… I still got all caught up in that stupid stereotype.’

Alex took another deep breath and squeezed my hand. ‘…It’s not entirely unfair. People belonging to the ‘queer’ spectrum are usually more… accepting, mentally. More open to experimentation and non-normative encounters. I mean… To come out as queer you have to mentally acknowledge that your own identity is non-normative. …People have thought I was a slut for knowing I’m genderfluid since before I’d even been kissed. I’ve had sex with _one_ person in my life and he was a long time friend that I’d started dating… It wasn’t even something we did more than once because it triggered his dysphoria so badly. That’s the part I really can’t stand. No, I’m not ‘normal’ and probably if I got the chance I _would_ be willing to try weird sex stuff because I like new experiences… But I would _never_ try and force someone into something that made them uncomfortable. I get that… with how selfish I’ve been… it’s hard for you to believe but… I’m really _really_ trying as hard as I can to make sure Magnus doesn’t feel pressured in this relationship. I don’t want to ‘drag’ him into some wild, hedonistic orgy… I want anything between us to mean as much to him as it does to me, to be safe and happy and…’ Alex trailed off, scarlet with the effort of explaining something so intimate calmly.

I lifted his chin and kissed him. ‘I know that, y’know?’

‘And we should have.’ Halfborn added guiltily. Mallory and TJ nodded.

Alex managed to nod, still looking brittle. ‘Okay. I’m going to go upstairs and cool off now.’

‘I’ll knock when I’m coming up, see if you feel like company?’ I kissed his hand.

‘Sure.’ He smiled weakly and left.

‘You okay Magnus? You seem-’ Halfborn began.

‘Pissed?’ I interrupted.

‘That sums it up.’ TJ quipped nervously.

I took a deep breath myself. ‘You know what? I kind of am. It feels like… Since you found out how we got together, you guys have been riding Alex hard to punish him for not being ready to commit right away.’ I looked at Mallory in particular as she seemed to usually be at the centre of it. ‘Or like you think I can’t actually handle dating him.’

‘Of course we worry Magnus!’ Mallory exploded. ‘You let someone blow hot and cold on you for _three years_? Yeah, Alex should have known better, but that’s pretty weak!’

I wanted to argue back. I _did_ really think that Alex deserved freedom but… He’s said himself a few times he regrets not getting together sooner. Maybe I was just running away from the possibility of getting rejected.

Mallory bulldozed on. ‘You’re so meek. You let other people call the shots for you all the time. Yeah, Alex is hot on the whole “no means no” thing but how well would you stop him if he _wasn’t_? You’ve been talking about studying medicine since Christmas but you aren’t actually interested in it and you don’t really believe it will help you as a healer, you just feel like you’re supposed to study it because that’s what “someone like you” is supposed to do when he becomes immortal. You walked out of your own birthday party because Alex was in a huff. You even gave up your own wish to other people. Nice is great until it becomes putting yourself last!’

I thought back to before Christmas, to Blitzen saying something similar in the kitchen. _Yeah, she’s tearing me a new one here… But she’s ultimately trying to say she’s really worried about me. If I yell or storm off, she’s just going to feel worse…_

‘Okay, so… I’ll give you the weak thing. Maybe I was just too scared of saying “All or nothing” and having Alex choose nothing. And okay… I don’t think I want to be a doctor. I think I’ll like what I can do as one though. And Chase Space makes me happy. I _always_ thought that’s what that house should be for, I just finally got the nerve to say it. And… Alex makes me happy too. If I took a break from the camping fun on my birthday… it was because I wanted to. Because… I don’t want a stupid calendar to tell me when it’s my turn to give or get. I don’t want something that arbitrary to be the reason he stops leaning on me.’ I gripped the edge of the table to keep steady. ‘And honestly? I get that you’re my friends and Alex’s friends and that means like it or not you’re kind of part of this relationship. But you’re also not. I’m not being pushed and I’m not asking for help so whether or not we’re physical…and how we do it if we are… isn’t your business.’

‘…Looks like you’re better at speaking up than we give you credit for.’ Halfborn mumbled.

I couldn’t help smiling then. ‘Maybe that’s because someone I admire made me realise that… even if it’s not nice, sometimes you have to make yourself heard.’

‘Ugh, sappy.’ Mallory rolled her eyes, mocking my love life to show me she approved again.

‘We still cool?’ TJ asked, looking a little anxious.

‘We’re all still cool. I won’t ditch my family over a fight.’ I hugged them all. ‘But now I’m going upstairs… There’s something I want to talk to Alex about. I was going to leave it since he’s ruffled but… well, maybe I need to put my needs a bit higher sometimes.’ I grinned at Mallory, who nodded.

‘If it’s Magnus, you can come in.’ Alex shouted when I knocked.

 _Better leave me outside señor._ Jack sighed. I let him float around in blade form, since it had been a while, then let myself in.

I was expecting a litter of shards on the floor. Instead I found Alex, standing on a stool with his shoebox of photos and some bluetack, sticking them up on his walls.

‘What are you doing?’ I asked.

‘Learning to dance ballet, obviously.’ Alex rolled his eyes but grinned.

‘I always assumed you’d have learned as a kid.’

‘My dad wanted a boy, I played Pee Wee baseball until I customised my bat with glitter and unicorn stickers and smacked everyone who laughed with it.’ Alex recounted.

‘To rephrase… Why are you sticking your photos on your wall?’

‘Because I want to change. I’ve been thinking a _lot_ about why I get so angry. And I think part of it is always having to hide stuff. I talk a big game about being yourself but I hide a lot. I don’t even let the people I trust enough to come into this room see the people who mean enough to me to appear in this box. Well, there’s stuff I’m always going to think is private, but I can at least show people that I care about them.’ He concluded, pausing to stare at a photo I’d seen before in Mack’s room; her and Alex gleefully waving some tacky souvenirs from the time we ended up in Colonial Williamsburg.

‘You’re so unpredictable. Just when I think I’ve got you down, that you’re going to storm off and smash stuff you stand your ground and talk and use art and beauty to show us instead of tell us how you feel.’ I watched him work, realising another reason why the ravens couldn’t put up Alex’s photographs. He didn’t have a normal arrangement like the rest of us. Each photo was being carefully placed, using various thrown pieces to accentuate the display, a little slice of his soul on display.

‘…Well, I got mad but I did annoy them on purpose first.’ He sighed. ‘I’m not blameless.’

I hesitated, wondering if my conversation should wait.

‘Magnus…’ Alex looked over his shoulder at me. ‘Spit it out.’

‘Okay… um… this might not be appropriate today but… I want to talk about us trying… sex.’


	28. Magnus is bad with acronyms (Alex's POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you will have guessed from the end of the last chapter, this one is all about sex. For those of you who find physical scenes uncomfortable, the first two thirds of the chapter are conversation but the last part is physical. The other warning is that this chapter contains reference to a minor engaging in sexual contact. This is not dwelled upon on or romanticised, but I know even references are upsetting for some people and I have no wish to cause distress.

I dropped my photo box. I mean, I just 100% was not expecting that.

Magnus literally took a step back. ‘Okay, sorry, too weird, I think I’m going to go now!’ He babbled nervously.

I hopped down and caught his hand. ‘Wait… I was just surprised that sounds… Well, good.’ Ugh… I didn’t mean to sound that wishy washy, he was just so nervous it was hard to believe anything could happen.

‘Good. Great. Good.’ Magnus nodded rapidly.

‘Okay, how about we sit down?’ I led him to the couch and sat with my knees tucked up. (Just in case.) ‘So… You’re starting to feel… up to that?’

‘Well… Yeah actually.’ Magnus flushed. ‘I mean… since Christmas we’ve kind of gotten the hang of… Third territory and it’s not… terrifying any more but…’

Hormonally speaking, this felt like a great moment to throw him down and ravish him. Since he was also very nervous, I told my limbic system too fuck off and kissed his cheek. ‘There’s a whole lot of ground between ‘not terrified’ and ‘want to do this’.’

‘Okay so I do but… Well… I was only half kidding with the not really knowing how. I know the… what goes where, that’s kind of obvious… But the other stuff. Like… Do we need to worry about birth control or STDs? How do I stop it just being painful and awkward? When is it okay to make a move?’ He hugged himself nervously. ‘I don’t want to mess this up.’

‘…Okay so I really don’t have a lot of answers here, you know with the whole ‘one-timer’ thing… But…’ I ran a hand down his chest. ‘You’re pretty damn good at the foreplay side you know, until we get the sex part down I think we can still make it a good time.’

He blushed even more, speechless with embarrassment.

I bit my lip ‘Are you really sure about this? I mean… Why now? You kinda still seem scared.’

‘Well… That’s more like…’ Magnus took a deep breath. ‘I’m way out of my depth here. I tried to um… Look stuff up? And it’s all either corny hippie stuff about the ‘most beautiful experience’ or dramatic porn stuff about how I need to be all dramatic and sweep you off your feet and that’s just weird!’

‘Okay first of all, girl or boy, I’m more of a sweeper.’ I shrugged.

Magnus looked lost. ‘What?’

‘Sweeper no good, I thought that was your metaphor… Okay… Um… Top? Lead? Pitcher?’ I threw out all the terms I knew that didn’t lead into something specific.

‘I… I get how that works with guys, but how do girls?...’

‘…Okay, this is easier if I show you but I’m not a girl today and I’m not going through with it, so try to stay calm because I’m not really going to do you.’ I prefaced, then shoved him down on his back. He yelped in surprise, eyes going from wide to saucers when I straddled his hips. ‘So, just because girls get penetrated doesn’t mean they can’t… take the lead.’ I rolled my hips to make my point. (Bad call for intellectual discussion by the way because even through two layers of jeans that was not bad. Not great but definitely invitational.)

Magnus covered his face with his arms and tried to cover a soft groan. ‘I hadn’t… considered that.’

‘…Okay serious point. You’re okay with blowing and stuff but have you thought about the possibility of screwing or getting screwed by a man? It’s uncharted territory for us.’ I squeezed his butt. (Partly to make my point clear and partly because hearing him gasp and feeling him twitch from it was fun.)

‘I don’t know. I mean… Do people _know_ if they’re going to like that before they try it?’ He asked through his arms.

‘I didn’t. I thought it would be gross but it was actually pretty hot. The main issue is all the cleaning but if it’s just for that condoms can function as literal gloves so…’ I shrugged, even though I don’t think he could see me.

‘Glove condoms?’

‘…Some people can get a bidet and special anti-bac stuff but all my sexual experiences happened while Adrian and I were squatting. All we had was horror stories from older people and the odd condom we could scrounge from free clinics or cheap drugstores.’ I admitted. ‘And… I was pretty determined to get into butt stuff because Adrian thought I was physically male and letting him touch there kind of gave him the penetrative feeling of being a guy.’

Magnus sat up and hugged me, despite his embarrassment. I stayed quiet for a moment, letting the memories of trying to help with Adrian’s dysphoria, hiding my shapeshifting to not make it worse, slipping up and pushing him over the edge, subside once more.

‘Are you sure _you_ want to do it with me?’ Magnus frowned. ‘You’ve always been flirty and seemed like you did but… Sounds like it’s more complicated than that.’

‘Dude, if I thought it would be a good first time for you, I’d do you right here, right now. I _definitely_ want to… I just know better than most people that for all it _feels_ amazing… Sex fucks with your brain.’ I explained. (He nearly exploded with blushing when I said I’d do him immediately. SO MUCH of my brain wanted to take that as a yes!)

‘So you’d prefer I didn’t? Um… ‘Pitch’ when you’re a guy?’ Magnus gulped.

‘I didn’t say that. I’m probably more inclined to ‘pitch’ myself but it’s more about… leadership than penetration. When I said I’m like that as a girl I don’t mean I want to reverse things, I mean that… Like I’d rather ride than be on my back, take the initiative. …How do you feel about being… led by a girl?’  I was trying to be gentle and considerate.

Magnus, dork that he is, laughed. ‘Al, you always take the lead. If I didn’t like it, I’d be put off long before now.’

‘Well there you go. You don’t buy into the patriarchal bullshit in any other part of your life, why should you be the one to sweep me off my feet because you’re a full time guy? And even if I was just a girl, why shouldn’t I sweep you off your feet?’ I grinned. ‘Don’t get me wrong… Reverse the roles, take a shot Magnus is sexy as hell, I am definitely down for that experiment if the mood strikes you… but mostly, if you’re comfortable with it, I like to be in charge.’

Magnus blushed more. ‘Okay… So I need to ask something about that and I don’t know how to do it in a non-weird way.’

I kissed him, long and hard enough for his tension to melt away and him to look at me with slightly unfocussed eyes. ‘So don’t think about how to ask it and just ask. I know you, you aren’t being a dick whatever it is.’

‘What’s the difference between… Liking to take charge and liking all that… BS&M stuff?’ Magnus looked terrified. I honestly don’t know whether it was the thought of “BS&M” (Oh Maggie…) or just the awkwardness of asking if I was kinky.

‘Okay, so this is _way_ out of my wheelhouse because I’ve never looked into it… Which I think is probably the distinction. I like being the boss but I’ve never wanted to get whips or candles or gimp masks. …Although ironically for someone who’d hate being cuffed, the image of doing _that_ to you turns me on a bit. Maybe it is a little bit of BDSM stuff, but it’s not a big enough thing for me to go looking so I never did… It’s not even a big enough thing that I would’ve brought it up if you hadn’t. I probably would’ve just taken the lead on my own and seen how you felt about it.’ I smoothed his hair.

‘How are you so… calm?’ He asked finally.

‘Honestly? It’s you.’ I flushed myself. ‘I _had_ to learn about sex. My whole life people have tried to use it against me because I’m genderfluid. And I thought a lot of it was just gross. Then when I met Adrian, I realised it can be great too… But that it came with a _lot_ of pressure and expectation about how I should be… When he died, I just thought that would be it for me. I wasn’t expecting to fall for someone else… But I did and you’re just so… you. You’ve always taken everything I throw at you, from being kissed out of the blue, to me not being a girl sometimes, to me needing space and freedom… I’m calm because I feel like I’m not getting forced into anything, so all I need to do is focus on _you_ not getting forced into anything.’

‘I guess… we need to sort some stuff out?’ Magnus mumbled.

‘…Okay, first point I want to make… I want to wait until I’m a girl. There’s less to think about, the plumbing’s naturally designed that way… All we really need is some privacy and some condoms… I don’t know if einherjar _can_ get anything from sex but good hygiene is a good idea anyway.’ Great, now _I_ was rambling.

‘Okay… I don’t want the others to know about it.’ Magnus blushed and winced. ‘You speaking up for me was cool and all but it was really embarrassing having them hear about me being so… immature about this.’

‘Fuck. I didn’t even realise, I’m sorry…’ I hugged him hard.

‘It’s okay I just… I don’t want them knowing and like… giving us space especially. It seems creepy.’ He shuddered.

‘I mean, we can go somewhere else but hotels make me shaky.’ I warned him.

‘We live in a hotel, Alex.’

‘It has dragons and decapitation, Magnus, it’s different enough not to bother me.’

He laughed then. ‘Okay… Um… Timescale?’

‘That’s your bracket. I mean, depending on how you feel about me switching for the event, we could go to a drugstore and do it when we come back. Or we can have this conversation and decide we’re not ready for another thousand years. Anywhere between the two.’ I shrugged.

‘I don’t want you to be forcing yourself to be a girl… I know you can but honestly, I can’t get into you being in that much pain just so we can have sex… But… Well, I’d like to get them so we can… Go for it… When we get an opportunity?’ He blushed more than ever. ‘But I don’t want you to feel like… We’re waiting for it?’

‘Okay… How about this? We get what we need so it’s there… And next time I’m both female and feeling it, I’ll make a move. And if you’re feeling it too, we’ll try some stuff, and if you’re not, no hard feelings?’ I suggested.

‘You kinda seem like you’re bluffing…’ He frowned.

‘You read me annoyingly well… Okay, real talk. My feelings get hurt when I get rejected, that’s just a human thing. When I take a shot and you flinch away, it hurts. But… that doesn’t stop me feeling glad you’re comfortable enough to say no. Because as someone who’s had both, pressured intimacy feels a _lot_ worse than rejection.’ I explained a little, studying him carefully for signs of a self-sacrificing “I won’t reject you then” delusion.

‘Okay… That makes sense.’ He nodded.

‘In the spirit of openly taking shots… We’ve been talking about sex for half an hour, I’ve pictured you naked over a hundred times, if you don’t want to be touched now is the time to say so.’ I started sliding his hoodie up his stomach.

He just lifted his arms to make it easier and grinned at me. It gave me a little thrill… And then something weird happened. I couldn’t stop thinking about his “What’s the difference between… Liking to take charge and liking all that… BS&M stuff?” thing. _Was_ it weird that I was getting turned on by him mutely accepting being stripped and explored by me? Was it weird that I was more into doing than getting? That I kinda wanted him to squirm again? Like… The ideal would be knowing he was into it but him acting all squirmy and embarrassed about it?

‘Al?’ Magnus’ voice cracked nervously. ‘Is that too weird? Should I just take it off?’

‘No, no you’re not weird _querido._ ’ I kissed him softly. ‘I’m getting into my own head.’

‘We don’t… have to make out.’ He assured me, but his shoulders visibly drooped with disappointment. See, even _that_ was tingle worthy. The image of him being secretly all hot and bothered but trying to deal and then maybe he gets all hard and I just- ‘Alex? Are you sure you’re okay?’

‘I think so… But I _really_ need to take care of this so…’

He blushed, smiled and lifted his arms again. I pulled his hoodie and shirt over his head in one go and kissed a trail from jaw to waistband, drinking in the breathy hitches and puffs. I clearly wasn’t the only one trying to hide how turned on I’d been through the whole conversation; just the pressure of my hand groping for the zipper of his jeans had Magnus pressing up so hard his head slipped off the arm of the couch.

‘Awww, calm down Maggie, I’m getting there.’ I teased. He flushed so much it spread down his neck and hid his face again with a groan. ‘Meanie. I happen to _like_ seeing your pretty face.’

‘I always thought it was weird you were relatively quiet when we… y’know.’ Magnus grunted. (Although he did move his arms so I could see his face. I’m calling that a win.)

I tugged down his zipper as I answered. ‘Well, you were so shy, I was focussed on keeping you calm. Now… I figure if we’re committed to moving forward you might as well get used to the fact that I am an incorrigible tease.’

Magnus snorted with laughter. ‘Only you would use the word ‘incorrigible’ while stripping someone.’

‘I have to get it all out of my system before I have a mouthful of cock.’ I winked. Magnus went speechless with surprise, managing only to make what I would call a whimper. He kept moving his hands, patting his own torso, the couch, the air, so once I got his jeans off, I grabbed them in mine and made do with just my head and mouth to get him in there. He’s such a soppy romantic, he’s always way calmer if I hold his hands during.

Luckily, Magnus is pretty rhythmic naturally so its easy enough to read his movements and not get accidentally choked while blowing him. He lasted pretty well, long enough for own need to get kind of critical, so I pulled back. ‘Up for trying something new?’

He nodded, eyes glazed over. I sat up, stripped in about ten seconds, and coaxed him up after me, until we were face to face. I cupped his head with one hand, pushing it forward so I could kiss him and wanked us both with the other. He was delightfully hot and wet and his gasping moans breaking up the make out kind of confirmed he was into it too. I managed to catch up, finishing more or less just after him and had to wipe my hand on my own thigh to hug him properly because he melted against me.

‘You are hot enough to drive me crazy, Magnus Chase.’ I stroked his hair back from his face, admiring his peaceful silvery eyes and the natural pink tinge to his lips.

He smiled goofily, too blissed out to blush. I felt this huge rush of tenderness and ignored the call of the shower for a few more minutes of holding him, letting him come down. I didn’t really get that, I’d always had to snap back to concentration right away in case I shifted… It felt like getting something right, that Magnus’ afterglow response was to relax into it, trusting me to take care of us until he came fully round.

After the first couple of times, he’d developed a little habit I don’t even think he knew he did that always mushed up my heart. When he gets enough blood back in his brain to think clearly and start moving, he always kisses me. Nothing hot or racy, just a slow, sweet, “I love you” kiss.

‘Shower?’ He murmured when he pulled back.

‘Shower.’ I agreed, helping him up.


	29. I can no longer wear white to my wedding (Magnus' POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Definite E warning for the latter half of the chapter

The next two weeks were kind of tense, between waiting for my girlfriend to come onto me and trying to figure out how much I should do for Valentine’s Day and getting fitted for a suit for Annabeth’s wedding.

‘Okay, what’s wrong?’ Sam folded her arms.

‘Why would something be wrong?’ I bluffed.

‘Blitzen just floated the idea of a baby blue cummerbund and you nodded and said ‘sure’. You _hate_ blue, especially baby blue.’ Sam sighed.

‘Okay… Well… I don’t really like suits and stuff, I guess I kind of spaced?’ I tried.

A flash of hurt crossed her face. ‘Look if it’s… hotel only stuff… that’s okay. It was my choice to walk away from all that.’

‘Sam! There is _nothing_ about my einherji life I wouldn’t tell you! It’s just… Look, this will _definitely_ be uncomfortable for you…’ I blushed and prayed she’d cut me off. Sadly, she just folded her arms and looked expectant. ‘I’m… thinking about having sex with your sister and it’s distracting me.’

Sam flushed and ducked her head. ‘Good call. That is uncomfortable.’

‘Well yeah! That’s why I try not to talk to you about stuff like that!’ I babbled.

Sam kind of stiffened then. ‘Okay but… You two don’t really talk to me about it much at all.’

‘My conversation on the topic is basically ‘do you think I’m doing this right’ and I kind of burned you out on that at Christmas. Plus I kind of thought Alex would be making you sick of it, you’re her main confidant.’

‘Not so much. She barely tells me anything, I didn’t even know she was planning your birthday party until a few days before.’ Sam shrugged but I could see she was a bit hurt.

‘I don’t think _Alex_ knew that was happening until a few days before. She’s always telling me she doesn’t know what I want for presents.’ I tried to appease her.

‘I just… I know I’m not exactly the ‘cool’ big sister in Alex’s eyes, but she did use to talk to me more.’ Sam actually sighed at this point.

‘Sounds like you’re jealous of that Nico kid who killed my fern.’ Blitzen made us both jump, having snuck back in with the baby blue cummerbund. _Drat._

‘Who did what now?’

‘Alex didn’t tell you?!’ I gulped. ‘Okay so… My cousin Annabeth has a demigod friend named Nico who Alex hit it off with at Thanksgiving.’

‘I knew _that_ much Magnus.’ Sam frowned.

‘Well… A couple of weeks ago he showed up here after a fight with his boyfriend and Alex has been calling him like three times a week since November and I feel bad now because I was mad at you for not mentioning it to me but I don’t think you knew.’ Great, I was rambling again.

‘No.’ Sam cut me off brusquely. ‘I didn’t.’

‘I’m sorry…’

‘It’s fine. I just… Really thought we were closer than that.’ Sam tapped the bare windowsill. ‘And at least I know what happened to the fern.’

After a few moments, I had to break the silence. ‘Blitz? Please don’t make me wear that.’

A couple of hours later I was relaxing in the library after teaching Jane how to do laundry. I’d picked up a book and I was tucked away in my favourite chair, immersed, until Alex kissed me, right above my top’s collar.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t ready for it and kind of yelped and dropped my book. She laughed and kissed me properly, really blanking out my mind. I barely registered it was over until I felt her breath, all hot on my ear as she whispered. ‘Want to get out of here early?’

_Oh hell yes!_

‘Alex? Can you and I talk… Oh!’

In Sam’s defence, it looked so much worse than it was. The… implications had left a visible impression in my jeans. Not to mention Alex was kind of straddling me again. Worst of all, I’d apparently grabbed her hips while blissed out from the kiss.

Alex, being Alex, burst into uncontrollable giggles. ‘Yes. Yes we can. Just give us a minute.’ She tried to calm down to talk to me but bubbles of laughter kept slipping out. ‘Are you- can we- Sorry!’

‘It’s fine.’ I hugged her tight and tried to ignore the grumpy, thwarted feeling.

‘Why aren’t you and I talking anymore?’ Sam asked, trying not to sound hurt and instead managing to sound angry.

Alex looked taken aback. ‘I call you all the time.’

‘You haven’t called me in three weeks.’ Sam waved her phone as proof.

‘Three weeks?’ Alex checked her own phone, looking shocked. Then she kind of deflated. ‘Wow. I really haven’t.’

 _‘When they said they needed to talk, I thought they’d do it without us se_ _ñor.’_

_Yeah… I kind of thought that too Jack._

_‘Don’t worry by the way. I know the bro code, when you and Alex are getting it on, I’ll leave you in peace.’_

_Thanks Jack, you’re a great wingman._

_‘Hey, it’s all good material for my epic.’_

‘I know I’m not… as much a part of your life now… But I miss you.’ Sam frowned.

Alex hugged her impulsively. ‘I’m sorry. I’ve been kind of… obsessed for a few weeks.’

‘With… with your new friend?’ Sam managed not to sound too jealous.

‘For a few days yeah… When I first met him he seemed unbreakably strong. Now that I know him better… I’m starting to realise he has a _lot_ of baggage. He seriously broke when he fell out with Will. But once that was sorted…’ Alex looked at me and pulled an _I wish you weren’t here_ face. (Hurtful but understandable.) ‘I’ve kind of been obsessing over Magnus.’

_OHMYGODS!_

_‘OW! Se_ _ñor that was my brain!’_

I didn’t really answer Jack, too busy internally screaming.

‘Because of the sex thing?’ Sam was visibly trying _very_ hard to sound casual.

‘Mostly, yeah. It’s a kinda big step and it’s like… After three years of jogging up a casual incline, now we’re scaling an almost vertical rock face. It’s exciting but a little scary.’ Great. Now _I_ was jealous. Alex hadn’t mentioned feeling like we’re going too fast to me once but Sam gets it right away?

_‘Sam is her sister.’_

_I know…_

‘…Look, this is going to sound weird coming from me but… I don’t think it’s such a bad idea.’ Sam sighed.

I could stay silent and pretending not to be here no longer. ‘You don’t? I thought you didn’t believe in premarital sex?’

‘I couldn’t _have_ premarital sex. It doesn’t feel compatible with my faith. But when have I ever expected you to live by my faith?’ Sam pointed out, very reasonably. ‘I’m not comfortable talking about the… details but… well things are different for you two. For one thing, even if you approached the topic of marriage, it’s about an eternity, not a lifetime. For another… yes you’ve only been officially ‘dating’ for just over two months but you’ve also sort of been together for three years. It’s not like you’re sleeping with a virtual stranger or impulsively jumping into bed with a platonic friend…’

Alex’s shoulders visibly sagged with relief. ‘That’s good… I wouldn’t have stopped for it but I wasn’t looking forward to you being disappointed in me.’

Sam hugged her then. ‘Alex… Three months ago you couldn’t even admit you were in love. Now you’re in an exclusive relationship and openly admitting that the step you’re approaching is as much emotional as it is physical… I’m really proud of you.’

Alex screwed up her face then, trying not to cry.

 _Fuck. I don’t think a relative’s told her that since her_ Abuelo _died…_

‘Alex…’

‘Sam!’

_‘Magnus!’_

_Jack? What’s going on, you almost never use my real name!_

_‘…I didn’t want to be left out.’_

When I tuned back in from Jack, they were both hugging. I edged out quietly, not  wanting to disturb them. Alex cam too find me in about an hour.

‘Hey Blondie.’ She quipped, hugging me from behind.

‘Hey Greenie.’ I shot back, relaxing against her.

‘So…’ She fumbled, heart rate picking up. ‘Did I miss my shot.’

‘Are you kidding? Open conflict resolution is _hot_.’ I joked, leaning back to kiss her. ‘Home?’

She smirked. ‘Home.’

It felt absolutely bizarre to be walking home planning to have sex. I kept wittering about the dumbest stuff and worrying that by the time we got there, Alex would be sick of me. We timed it well, getting into my room unchallenged.

‘So…’ I rubbed my neck self consciously. ‘Jack made himself scarce.’

Alex walked over and hugged me suddenly. ‘You sure about this? It’s fine to change your mind.’

‘Thanks… But I’m just ‘never done this’ scared, not ‘don’t wanna do this’ scared.’ I took a deep breath.

‘Okay… But the never done it stuff doesn’t happen right away. First we need some second and third stuff to warm up so that’s actually ‘done this a lot’ easy.’ She kissed me softly and started stripping me. _I can never tell if she just likes doing that or I’m too awkward to watch…_

‘Magnus?’ She hesitated, hands on my waistband. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘I just… I don’t really know how to be sexy!’ I blurted out.

‘ _Ay dios mio.’_ She muttered, which is something I’ve only heard her use about three times. ‘Magnus. You do not need to worry about that. And not in a spiritual love-forgives-all way. In a ‘you are a total natural at sexy and not jumping you has been killing me for ages’ way.’ She traced her hands over my collar bones. ‘You’re athletic without being all bulky and gross…’ Her hands ghosted up my neck, thumbs stroking my jaw. ‘Your face is so soft and expressive and smooth but there are these little flashes of manliness; the strength of your jaw and the line of your brows… You hair is like permanently sunlit and as soon as I touch it I don’t want to stop…’ Our foreheads were together now, which was good because I was so embarrassed and happy I don’t think I could’ve looked her in the eyes and then I’d have missed this: ‘And your eyes… Everything else about you is all peace and warmth but your eyes are so deep and sharp. They can slice a person to ribbons and yet I can just look into them and… I’m home.’

My voice caught in my throat. ‘Alex…’

She froze, colour flooding her face and her eyes widening, making the contrast between them that much clearer. It’s going to sound stupid but… there was no room to doubt her sincerity right now. It was like flying. So exhilarating and terrifying all at once.

I hugged her, pressing our bodies as close as possible. We clung onto each other like that for a while, close enough for me to feel she was a girl physically instead of just by instinct.

Then her hands hooked into my waistband and a soft, breathy voice asked in my ear: ‘Okay?’

‘Gods yes.’ I nodded. She got my trousers and boxers in one motion, kneeling down and pressing light kisses to my thighs as she eased off my shoes and socks too. It was more embarrassing than I thought but strangely hot too.

She straightened up and kissed my mouth. ‘Get comfy on the bed, I’ll be with you in a sec.’

I watched her strip while I was waiting. She was actually pretty reluctant; I caught her hands trembling and a little flinch.

‘Lexie? Do you need to keep your clothes on?’

‘It’s not that. I just… Last time I was dating someone, showing my breasts wasn’t an option.’ Alex wrapped her arms around herself.

‘…If you want a shirt, like when we’re sleeping, that’s alright.’ I said quietly, moving to hold her.

She shook her head. ‘I want to do it like this. Not holding back.’ She looked up, eyes soft. ‘Make sense?’

‘Yeah it does… May I?’

She nodded and I gently unbuttoned her shirt and slid it off to join her jeans, boxers, shoes and socks. The bra followed and contrary to teen fiction the clasp was _really_ simple. She shivered a little, I think mostly from nerves but a little from the cold air, so I hugged her tight, letting my body warmth flood into her.

She laughed shakily. ‘And here I wanted to make sure _you_ had a calm, relaxing time.’

‘I am calm. My beautiful girlfriend is in my arms and I don’t have to worry about getting freaked or over thinking because she’s got my back.’ I kissed her, trying to fill out the gaps I didn’t have words for, show her how much I loved her and how special she made me feel.

She kissed me back. It was tender at first but slowly the pacing shifted. _She says she hasn’t done this a lot so clearly she’s a natural at seduction_.

Alex backed me towards the bed, her hands trailing over my chest, coaxing my blood lower. ‘Girls usually last longer, so you ready to catch me up?’ She purred against my lips, her eyes gleaming. This close, their asymmetry was dizzying.

‘Oh yeah!’

She guided my hand down. (Didn’t actually need it but however vague on the topic she was, she _definitely_ seems to get off on being in charge.) I played with her clit while we made out, loving the feel of her breathing and heart rate accelerating.

‘You ready?’ She murmured, when I was already about to burst.

I couldn’t quite verbalise so I just nodded eagerly. She grabbed the condoms we’d prepared in my bedside drawer and rolled it on, a little clumsily. (From the look of the angle, she was more used to doing it to herself.) It was actually kind of… fluttery, having everything taken care of. I normally would have thought about that more but I was _way_ more interested in the fact that Alex was straddling my hips and holding my cock and it was _actually about to happen._

‘Mags? You sure you want to go through with this?’ She asked, voice higher than usual because she was trying _so freaking hard_ to sound like it wouldn’t be a big deal if I backed out. The fluttery, pampered feeling came back and all I could do was nod again and hope she understood that it _absolutely was_ enthusiastic consent I just _suck_ at the talking thing-

Which apparently she did. Because she lowered herself onto me and flinched slightly.

‘Lexie?’ I managed to sit up. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘First time with someone _else’s_ thing. _Really_ underestimated the size difference.’ She admitted, biting her lip.

‘Fuck, okay, let’s try something else-’ I shifted my weight, trying to help her lift off.

She shot me a defiant look and pushed down fully, a rush of heat and tightness that made the world spin and all the air in my lungs come out with a gasp. ‘I’ve got this Magnus. It was a shock, not a stop sign.’ She cupped my face and kissed me, switching from sharp to tender in the blink of an eye and isn’t that _just so Alex?_ ‘I need a few seconds to adjust but it already feels pretty good, I’m just not used to it.’

I couldn’t even answer. I tried and I just sounded like mating season in the Blue Hills.

Alex giggled then and kissed me more, mapping out my mouth and starting to experimentally shift her hips. Each bob and squeeze caused a slight eye roll until I was genuinely struggling to see straight. All my focus pulled in until all I could sense was _AlexAlexAlex_ , clinging to her with both hands and unsure whether that roaring sound was just in my head.

A couple of soft moans and gasps cut through the noise. I think I must have called out her name because she broke off the kiss to whisper: ‘I’m here querido, you’re doing amazing.’ Which made me go hot all over.

I couldn’t keep still. My hips jerked on their own. I tried to explain this and found my face pressed into Alex’s neck, a soft hand in my hair.

‘I can’t- I’m going to-’

‘Go ahead.’

The world went white in an explosion of sheer ecstasy so strong I could hardly breathe.


	30. My charade is the event of the season (Alex's POV)

It took one of the scariest moments in my life for Magnus to respond. All I could think was _Please don’t let anyone notice he’s died and ask him how at dinner._

Then he sat up, eyes still a little bleary, mumbling my name. I hugged him tight, discreetly taking care of things since it was taking him a while to come to properly.

‘That was bad, wasn’t it?’ Was the first complete sentence he managed.

‘Come on, most guys can’t get a girl off first time. Especially not during.’ I kissed him all over his face, coaxing him until he relaxed against me. ‘It did feel amazing, I just have more stamina for now.’

Magnus stayed quiet a moment or two, his skin taking on that weird goldish shimmer it gets sometimes. I thought he was processing so I didn’t comment until he pulled me into a hot, messy kiss.

‘Wha?’

‘We both need a shower… Want me to make it up to you there?’ He asked, flipping from cute and cuddly to cheeky smirks and glittery silver eyes and _ay dios mio_ was _that_ hot!

‘Deal.’ I managed breathlessly.

For those keeping track, getting eaten out in the shower is _exactly_ as hot as people would have you believe. (And convenient for hygiene.)

A week later, I was on my way to pick up Magnus’ Valentine’s gift. (It was _very_ bad planning for him to be born smack in the middle of Christmas and Valentine’s.) Still, I was confident I’d thought up something both surprising and good; some basketball hoops, balls and outfits for Chase Space. He might not have been great at it (Although I only had his word on that. Magnus says he sucks at a lot of stuff.), but if I knew Magnus he’d just use that as a way to buff the esteem of our visitors and help them relax.

I’m not super sporty. I don’t really go to that kind of shop. And I guess, having been dead for three years, I’d forgotten something kind of important.

I still had living relatives in Boston.

And since Father is the kind of man who walks fast and expects other people to get out of his way, even if their arms are full of basketball gear and they can’t see properly and they’re regretting not asking Halfborn to help them… He walked clean into me. I stumbled, dropped the three balls and swore.

‘What the fuck, _burro torpe_!’ I snapped, blissfully unaware that this particularly clumsy donkey had been the source of countless nightmares.

‘Alex?’ I didn’t recognise his voice at first. It had been three years since I’d heard it and I’d certainly never heard it break like that. To be fair, I probably looked more like the son he’d always wanted than I ever had before. I was actually a guy, carrying a bunch of sports equipment… I was even in a dull plain jeans/black hoodie/hair hidden in a beanie combo because I didn’t want Magnus to notice me when I got closer to Chase Space. (Sam was going to try and keep him uptown at a coffeehouse but you never bet on Magnus staying out in urban socialisation.)

‘Pa- Father.’ My voice was weird too. All gruff and quivery.

‘I thought you were… Your… parent… said…’ He babbled.

 _Loki told them I’m dead without explaining the einherji thing._ It was probably the closest thing I ever felt to affection for Mommy Dearest. The Fierros thinking I was just regular dead explained how easy I’d had things.

‘Come on Father you know this one; Loki lies.’ I spat. I should have run away.

‘Yes…’ He shuffled awkwardly. He looked… different. Smaller and weaker. More tired. _Did he maybe… miss me?_ ‘Look… We shouldn’t have this conversation on the street… Come back to the house. Have some coffee with me.’

I should have run.  Instead I said ‘Sure. But you’re going to have to figure out how to store two basketball hoops.’

Getting the hoops home – back to his home I mean. Hotel Valhalla is my home now – showed he wasn’t entirely different. The careless way he ordered around his chauffer made me twitchy. I almost ran then too but a) he had my hoops and b) …I kinda wanted to see mom. I ended up sitting in the back of a new limo, cradling a basketball on my lap and trying not to puke.

He downed like three glasses of scotch on the car ride. By now, I was pretty aware that coming with him was a mistake but I was still stuck in the car with the hoops and I still hadn’t seen mom and it’s not like I could wipe his memories like Hearth. _Hearth!_

I’d gotten Blitzen and Hearth cellphone contracts so they could stay in contact if one of them was out. I discreetly texted Heath ‘mite need magic back up l8r txt u wen i no’. I usually would have typed it all out properly but I didn’t want Father to notice.

He caught the faint buzz of it vibrating in my pocket when Hearth replied. ‘New friends?’ He asked, eyes narrowing.

‘Well duh. It’s been nearly six years. You think I wouldn’t meet any new people?’ I rolled my eyes.

He frowned. ‘Not suitable people.’

My chest tightened up. I felt cornered, even though that was _nuts_. _He’s a middle-aged human and you’re an eternally prime-of-your-life magically enhanced shapeshifter. If he goes to hit you, just turn into a bear and clobber him!_

Except I still felt shaky.

The limo parked up in front of the old mansion. I ignored Father and helped the chauffer get the hoops and stuff out and stash them in the garage. I thanked him nicely to a backdrop of Father’s impatient tutting.

‘You spend too much time on trivial things.’ He told me as we walked to the front door.

‘You don’t spend enough time on those ‘trivial’ things. It’s why your business is declining every quarter.’ I shot back.

He gave me a weird look. Half furious, half proud.

‘I was homeless, not illiterate Father. I still read the papers.’ I stood my ground, daring him to lash out with my eyes.

‘Well… You’re right. I need to change… Run the business more like Papi did.’ Father sighed. He actually looked a little like he might cry.

‘Do you miss him as much as I do?’ I asked softly, reaching out to touch his arm.

‘Every day. I think… I lost sight of who I was without him… And I know that made you suffer. I’m sorry.’ He took my hand and squeezed it.

It was such a tender beautiful moment that I wanted to throw up. And not in an averse-to-sweetness way, in a terrified way.

 _Father wasn’t that great_ before _Abuelito died. And he’s always said never apologise on anyone’s terms but your own. He also doesn’t just admit he’s in trouble. What’s his angle here._

‘Where’s Mom? She’s joining us, right?’ I pulled my hand away.

It was just a flicker. Anyone less paranoid than me would probably have taken it as a flutter of surprise at my sudden movement. But I know this man. This is my first and greatest opponent. I read his micro-expressions for _years_ to stay safe. It was only for an instant but he was pissed off.

Just like he used to get in business meetings he dragged me too when someone didn’t fall for one of his little tricks.

‘I’ll call her at once, she’ll be dying to see her little boy.’ Father replied smoothly, waving his cellphone and walking off.

Immediately, I ran to check the front door. Locked. Windows; locked. Garage; locked. _Calm down. You’ve broken out of this place before, you can do it again._

Father caught me checking out the updated locks, some weird electronic thing I couldn’t pick. ‘Oh Alex, I forgot… Being locked in makes you antsy. Here.’ He tapped something in on his phone, holding it so I couldn’t see what. The front door swung open. ‘It’s a smart house, cool isn’t it?’

‘Sure. Until it goes all Skynet and tries to murder you.’ I quipped. I debated running out of the door. I was ready to sacrifice the basketball stuff and just earn enough to buy more but I wasn’t ready to leave without seeing Mom. ‘Let me make a call too. Otherwise my colleagues are going to wonder where I am.’

‘Colleagues?... Of course, you don’t look a day over sixteen but you’re almost twenty now.’ Father laughed.

I dialled, my heart beating. _Hey. I don’t pray often and I know demigods usually pray to their godly parent but you’ve met mine, so you know why that’s not an option and it’s your son I want to contact. So Frey, if you’re listening and this fucks up, please try and tell Magnus what’s happening before he gives himself an ulcer worrying about it._

‘Alex?’ Sam sounded surprised.

‘Hey Sam, can you hand me over to the big guy?’ I asked breezily, heart thumping. This was the biggest risk in the plan. If Sam realised I was sounding weird because I couldn’t talk freely, she’d go along, no questions asked. If she thought I was messing around, she might blow my cover.

‘Sure… Let me get him for you.’ Same replied, slightly hesitantly. (Sam’s an incredible liar if she’s prepared for it. Improv, her tone isn’t quite natural.)

‘Alex?’ Magnus’ voice almost broke my composure. For a moment I just wanted to ask him to come over and tell Father to deal with the fact I had a boyfriend. I didn’t though, because I am good at this shit, if nothing else.

‘Hey Chief. I know I’m supposed to be in for a shift soon but you will never guess what happened to me! So, I’ve mentioned my dad, right? Well I just ran into him while shopping! We’re catching up and I really cannot ditch him so can you swap me off? I’ll make it up to you with so much overtime.’  I held my breath.

‘…Sure thing. You need any grenades?’ Magnus’ voice had that coolness it gets which is the only time he ever sounds like Annabeth.

‘Hell yeah, blow the place up!’ I laughed. ‘Got to go big guy.’ I hung up and added to my dad. ‘So, the grenades thing; it involves a meatball sub, some Mexican fireworks and a deaf guy with a face full of marinara sauce.  You got time?’

‘For you? Always.’ Father laughed. _Lie but okay._

I started improvising a story about a sandwich accidentally getting blown up and showering people in the marinara sauce, sparking a running gag about sandwich grenades that eventually got shortened to just grenades. I managed to imply I was in some kind of office job without being clear where or how. I was basically playing for time and waiting for Mom. Or back up.

Mom came first. She was still pretty but in a more plasticky, high strung way. I got up and went to hug her but she flinched back.

‘Mom?’ My voice cracked.

‘Don’t be rude, Darling.’ Father’s voice had an edge to it.

All at once the old smashing feeling came back. I found myself eyeing the fine china on the table and wanting to scream _Stop bullying her and let her feel whatever she wants to feel!_

‘Of course.’ Her voice cracked too and she padded over, hugging me awkwardly. I hugged back lightly, not wanting to stress her out more.

She forced a smile but her eyes were completely empty. I couldn’t take it any more.

‘This was a mistake. I’m forcing it coming back here. I’m sorry, I should go.’ I rambled, pulling away.

‘Sit _down_ Alejandro!’ Father barked.

I stood my ground. ‘I told you not to call me that. It’s Alex!’

‘And yet you’re _so_ proud of our heritage.’ Father shook his head. ‘This is why I didn’t suggest this sooner.’

‘Suggest _what_ sooner?’

‘Suggest you come back home and take over quality control in the business, of course!’ He roared.

‘Of course.’ The was a weird roaring sound in my ears, like I was staring into the Ginnugagap. ‘That’s what it’s always about, isn’t it? You didn’t want to see me. You didn’t want to make amends for every crappy thing that happened. I was just an answer to a problem.’

‘It’s not that… I thought you’d changed… I thought you’d finally grown up and grown out of that nonsense!’ He blustered.

‘I have changed. I’ve changed a lot. Like… I don’t solve my problems by breaking things anymore.’ (Well, not much…) ‘And I have people I trust now. You know, I actually have a boyfriend? One who’s seen me as a man and a woman and even somewhere in between and only ever questioned it in how he can make me more comfortable. And I’m a soldier. Yeah, you can look shocked… I fought in an interdimensional war. I used the Fierro magic to make a clay golem and helped slay a giant. And I met my sister and saved her from an arranged marriage, and I made friends from worlds you will never understand… But the changes _you_ want… Giving up everything that makes me _me_ and becoming just like you…’ And for once, I decided to make stereotypes work for me. I morphed my body, making my breasts large enough to show through the hoodie, my hips curvy enough that the jeans rode up and revealed no room for a cock, my hair longer and curlier and naturally green streaked with pink so it tumbled down my back as I pulled off my beanie. ‘That’s never going to happen, Papa. So goodbye.’ I turned and stalked toward the door.

‘Alex… Alex wait.’ Father shouted. I ignored him.

‘Alex… _querida_ , please!’ Mom called. That time I did stop. That let Father catch up to me, seizing my arm roughly. My mind was already flickering through plans when the door blew off it’s hinges, a rune still sizzling on its wood.

‘Dammit Hearth! No explosions in residential areas!’ Sam complained, signing along.

Hearth shrugged unrepentantly and glared at my dad. _Oh yeah, I texted him because I was worried we might need to modify my dad’s memories…_

Blitzen, thoughtfully, had brought me a snazzy pink and green jacket.

And then there was Magnus. Who took one look at the whole situation and immediately realised who really needed help and went straight to her; Mom.

‘Hi Ma’am.’ He spoke in his most gentle, healer-y voice. ‘I can see you’re in a very unhappy life here… So if you want some help… Now, or any time…’ He touched her arm and a golden rune of Frey briefly glowed before fading. ‘You’ll be able to find us. Unless you want to come with?’

She didn’t. She ran away back into the house. But I didn’t expect her to be brave enough to leave him.

I shook Father off and walked into Magnus’ arms, hugging him tight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a point of clarification here; Alex's "girly transformation for empowerment" should NOT be taken as a female>male message. This is reflective of the fact that, in the canon of this fic, Alex's father wanted Alex to be a cisgendered male not genderfluid and Alex embracing the appearance of femininity is about rejecting that restriction. For normal purposes, Alex will continue as she/he always has - being female when she's a girl, male when he's a boy and androgynous to look at either way. The headcanon about Alex's father is based on corporate American culture and should be considered reflective of the fact that old ideals still exist there, not a comment on any particular group or individual.


	31. I get a lot better with touch stuff (Magnus POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, a little note for anyone keeping track - while I don't know exactly how many chapters it will be, Chasing Iron is scheduled to end on the Percabeth wedding. This will definitely not be my last Riordan-verse fic. It won't even be the last of Crossing Lines - although I'm not planning anything else as massive as this one. I will, however, be trying out some other fandoms and projects once this ends. So to anyone who's read this far, thank you so much. To anyone who reads to the end, I am blessed. And to anyone who reads beyond... I'm truly touched.

Alex didn’t say a word for a full hour after we got out of there. She had put the jacket Blitz brought on, returned to her real body and drank four cups of soda but she didn’t talk at all. I wasn’t sure if I should be giving her space or not so I kind of hovered.

When she finally spoke it was to say the mystifying: ‘Oh fuck me, I ditched the basketball stuff.’

‘Basketball stuff?’ I wondered if this was a code I’d forgotten.

She looked sheepish. ‘I figured, since you love this place so much, you would like something for here more than something for you. So I was going to set up a basketball court in the yard, I figured maybe you could play with them all sometimes.’

‘Lexie…’ I kissed her forehead. ‘I love it… But why is the stuff at your dad’s?’

‘I ran into him after buying it… I forgot he hangs in that part of town.’ She tucked her hair behind her ear. ‘It was stupid. I shouldn’t have gone with him.’

‘You wanted him to do better though.’ I slid my arm around her.

She laughed, voice cracking a little. ‘How have you known me less than a quarter of my life and you know me better than a man who raised me for more than half of it?’ She took a shaky breath. ‘He was happy to see me, you know? I can’t even remember the last time he was happy to see me. Turns out he just wants my powers to save his business and earn him more precious money.’ This close, this keyed up I could kind of feel an echo of Alex’s feelings beneath the surface. So I physically felt the crack when the floodgates opened and she started to cry.

I was counting to time my breaths and stay calm the whole time she cried out so I can tell you exactly how long he made her cry for this time. Seventeen minutes and forty two seconds. When she finally stopped with a stuffy sniffle she rag-dolled against me. I hugged her as tight as I dared and finally realised that Sam was still sitting with us, eyes burning. Her lips moved slightly – I guessed she was praying for control. I don’t know if it’s her god or just Sam herself, but those prayers really do help her when she gets that Loki-rage thing. _I wonder if Alex and Sam know they both do that?_

‘We could go get it.’ I suggested.

‘Do you trust us not to punch him in the face?’ Sam raised an eyebrow.

Alex laughed, still a little ragged. ‘That seems unlikely.’

‘Well, we didn’t want to walk over your exit.’ I explained.

She rubbed her face. ‘Trust me, if we rob the place he’ll just call the cops. Then this place gets investigated… I’ll just get more. I can usually get a good price for anything I concentrate on making.’

Frustration bubbled up inside me. ‘Why should you have to clean up his mess?’

‘Because I got into his car.’ Alex caught the front of my shirt and curled her hand into a fist. ‘Don’t go, okay?’

‘…Okay.’ I hugged her tighter. It still kinda pissed me off but if Alex wanted that to be the end of it… Well, I wasn’t going to be the one who fucked that up.

It wasn’t quite the end though. Word soon spread through the nine worlds that some mortal had sent basketball equipment to Hela, addressing it “to Loki’s daughter”.

‘Do you think he was trying to be respectful?’ I asked Alex.

‘No, I think he remembered I said I had a sister and wants me to think he’s not so bad after all and come back to help him.’ Alex sighed. He was in an odd mood that day; definitely male but dressing overtly feminine. I feel like he maybe wanted someone to get it wrong so he could pick a fight with them.

‘…Well. Hela apparently likes them, so I don’t think we’re getting the stuff back.’ I laughed.

‘Apparently not.’ Alex fidgeted with the hem of his skirt. ‘I wanted it to be a surprise. Stupid father.’

‘I don’t know if mine will be better as a surprise or not.’ I admitted.

‘Yeah?’ Alex studied me. ‘Well… I trust you. So if you want to spring something on me… Well, go ahead. I’ll be weak for you.’ He curled up on my lap, I think to illustrate the point.

Since he was letting me be silly, I squished his cheeks. ‘It’s not fair that cuter than me both ways.’

He grinned through the squish and wriggled suggestively. ‘It’s my special skill.’

‘And here I thought that was bringing things to life, spinning stories, picking presents… You have a few.’ I slid my hands into his hair. I once thought he would bite my hands off if I did something like this to him, but he actually loved being “petted” if it was in private.

He blushed slightly at the compliments and leaned into the touches, eyes fluttering closed. ‘You know you can do me like this, right? I’ve done it before.’

‘You ‘did it’ as a guy with someone in a female body. You’ve never had another guy’s dick do you like this.’ I pointed out, running my nails along his scalp to make him shiver. ‘Besides, with what you were saying, I kind of got the sense you’d rather that equation was reversed.’

Alex’s eyes snapped open, looking slightly crazy because with his pupils this wide, his brown iris blended in, giving the impression the pupils were different sizes. ‘You’d consider that?’

‘I dunno if I’ll be into it.’ I admitted. ‘But yeah, I’ve considered it. It’s kind of something you _have_ to consider when you get kissed by a guy and realise you want him to keep kissing you forever.’

‘You don’t though. _Have_ to consider it. I mean you’re… y’know.’ Alex huffed. ‘Quit the hair thing, I can’t concentrate!’

I stifled a smirk at the great Alex Fierro losing his cool over a head scratch. ‘I’m what? “Straight”? Because I gave up on _that_ a long time ago. And I don’t mean _have_ to as in I think you’d make me try… Just have to at least _think_ about it so I’m not blind-sided if you bring it up.’

‘How much time do you spend thinking about this stuff? Perv.’ Alex joked.

‘I’m forever sixteen, how much do you think?’ I quipped back. I relaxed, going back to playing with his hair.

‘Magnus…’ His voice went all soft and breathy, making my heart beat faster.

‘Yeah?’

‘Can’t I even get a hint?’ He whined, leaning in to brush my lips really lightly.

Sadly, I fixated on the fact that he was curious enough to _try and seduce the information out of me_ and cracked up laughing. This offended Alex so much that he left to play violent video games with TJ.

Getting Sam on board made planning for Valentine’s _way_ easier. (Partly because she’s great with secrets, knows Alex really well and is awesome with organising, partly because she’s not legally dead.)

‘Are you sure you don’t want to save something this big for a birthday?’ Sam asked, frowning.

I flushed. ‘Alex goes big for me, all the time. I just want to return the favour.’

I also figured out that, despite all the teasing _Alex_ is the one who’s pretty easy to distract with sex. We tried out a _lot_ over that couple of weeks in the name of keeping secrets. (Turns out, Alex gets a bit pushy when frustrated. Also turns out, a pushy Alex is a _really hot_ Alex.)

There was one key detail that my whole plan hinged on though; that my big surprise would go off on February _13 th_, not 14th. Why? So Alex wouldn’t be ready for a surprise. I was confirming this with Sam while we baked cookies at Chase Space, when Blitz openly began eavesdropping.

‘So you don’t have plans on Valentine’s itself?’ He asked, very intensely.

‘No… Is that bad?’ I bit my lip.

‘No, actually good.’ Blitz shuffled. ‘For me, anyway.’

Sam and I exchanged grins secretly.

‘Whatever could you mean, Blitzen?’ Sam asked, her eyes glittering with mischief.

‘Well… I was wondering if you kids could run the place for a night.’ Blitz admitted.

I feigned reluctance. ‘I don’t know… I know the surprise _itself_ is on the 13th but I was thinking dinner… Why do you want the night off?’

Blitz shot me a flustered look. ‘Come on kid, that should be pretty obvious!’

‘…Nope, I can’t work it out. Sam? You’re _very_ smart.’ I stifled a snigger.

‘…No. I have no idea Magnus. Blitzen, whatever could you be planning?’ Sam’s lips twitched.

Blitz sighed a long-suffering sigh. ‘Fine. I want to take Hearth on a fancy date because we hardly ever do that romantic stuff and dammit he deserves to be wooed whether he realises it or not!’

‘Awww Blitz… Of course we’ll cover.’ I promised.

‘It can be a triple-date.’ Sam laughed. ‘Magnus and Alex, me and Amir, and Jid and Bibi since I’ll need a chaperone so Alex can switch!’

Blitz finally smiled. ‘Thank you both so much! Now I can really move forward with some plans! I’m going to make that damn elf blush so much he’s permanently pink!’

Sam waited until Blitz was out of ear shot. ‘Aww!’

‘I know… Mom’s taking Dad on a date.’ I laughed.

‘And we babysit the younger ones like good kids.’ Sam laughed, playing into the metaphor.

‘Well sure, someone has to take care of the house.’ I paused. ‘So _you_ don’t have Valentine’s plans?’

Sam blushed. ‘We always exchange gifts and cards and his are _always_ perfect because he’s the most thoughtful man alive-.’ She stopped abruptly, realising she was gushing, and cleared her throat. ‘But we don’t have special plans together, since that would involve being alone.’

‘Makes sense.’ I nodded. ‘What did you pick this year?’

‘I saved up some tutoring money and bought him some new moulds and trays… He says he wants to experiment with oven baking for the shop.’ Sam coloured up. ‘It’s lame, I know.’

‘I dunno… I kinda like how you guys have this running theme of trying to expand each other’s horizons with your gifts. It’s like… You have this bridge and you keep running over to each others’ sides to make a new spoke.’ I rambled.

Sam smiled and murmured (I think to herself) ‘Yeah, he really does.’

I pulled another tray of cookies from the oven and swiped two cooling ones. ‘I’m going to rope Alex into our babysitting date.’

‘You don’t think it’ll ruin your surprise?’ Sam arched her eyebrows at me.

‘Nah… I’ll tell her I’ve hidden it here because of that and she’ll drive herself nuts looking for clues.’ I grinned.

‘Sometimes I wonder if you’re getting her back for messing you around so long.’ Sam shook her head.

‘That’s not it… She’s just fun to tease.’ I ran off.

I found Alex in the library, teaching Sasha and Jane how to fold origami. Sasha was surprisingly deft, easily racing through shapes, while Jane was getting really annoyed with the basic bunny shape.

‘We’re going to have to half the cookies.’ I commented.

Sasha jumped up and ran over, bouncing on the spot. ‘We’re making cards! For you and Micah and Alex!’

‘Alex?’ I repeated, briefly confused.

‘Because Alex is my favourite, duh.’ Sasha rolled her eyes.

 ‘Ahhh.’ I grinned and offered her a cookie. ‘Go share this with Alex then.’ I snapped my other one in half and gave one piece to Jane. She smiled weakly up at me.

‘Think I’ll finish in my room.’ She gathered up paper, card and cookie and hurried out.

‘So…’ Alex nibbled daintily at her cookie. ‘Gimme a hint?’

‘It’s happening here.’ I told her.

‘Here?!’ Her eyes swivelled. I could see her calculating. ‘How have you hidden it?’

‘It’s not happening until later on, Blitz and Hearth are bringing it back from _their_ date.’ I invented.

‘Their date?’ She looked at me doubtfully.

‘Go ask them.’ I shook my head. ‘Your too suspicious for _me_ to talk sense into.’ To be honest, I think she knew she was being hoodwinked a little but she went along with it, pulling Sasha with her as her “Watson”.


	32. If anyone's keeping track, I would totally kill for Magnus. (Alex's POV)

‘So, you lovebirds got any big plans for Valentine’s?’ I had my phone on speaker, trying out different outfits since I was pretty sure part of Magnus’ surprise was that he would spring it early. (I know him _way_ too well for these games.)

‘Valentine’s is lame and cringy and my boyfriend is a massive drama queen so I don’t have a choice.’ Nico concluded, laughing. ‘We’re going for a drive upstate and hopefully a star-gazing camp out with minimal near death experiences.’

‘You just want to show off your motorcycle.’ I teased, settling on the reversible sequin sweater I’d worn to Thanksgiving.

‘Not true. I also want minimal audience when I inevitably get serenaded.’ Nico shot back. ‘Plus not to have to be quiet for once.’

‘How can you complain when you’re one of the only people with your own cabin to sneak a lover into? You could be stuck hiding in the woods.’ I pointed out.

‘Some kid in Cabin Nine made a pop-up tent with sound-proofing and camouflage. Except Chiron can’t ban it because he hasn’t been able to prove it exist.’

‘Your friends make cool things. Although I have that topped for cute; Blitz made Hearth a ring that shivers when someone says his name so he doesn’t have to worry about people calling out to him anymore.’ I tried out a couple of poses in the mirror, deciding on jeans with better ass cling.

‘Okay, Blitzen won Valentine’s Day.’ Nico agreed.

‘Nah, the timing was accidentally close to Valentine’s Day, he’s been working on it for ages, he just finally finished it.’ I lined my eyes in emerald green. ‘Well, I am officially all dolled up for my surprise.’

‘What if you hate it? Have you practiced smiling?’

‘If I hate it, I’m screwed. Magnus reads me way too easily.’ I tried not to sound obviously dazzled by that. Predictably, dead on midnight there was a knock on my door and a little card slid underneath it. ‘Got to go, the fun begins.’

‘I’ll talk to you next week.’

‘Record your serenade, I want to hear this famous son-of-Apollo voice!’

‘No, you’ll fall in love with him.’ Nico hung up, which is just as well because at _that_ ludicrous sentiment I laughed so hard I teared up and couldn’t read my card. It was business card sized, and hand-written in a sloping, curly script I didn’t recognise.

_‘If you seek the son of Frey,  
Take yourself to Dorchester Bay.’_

Awww, he’s playing Riddler. I tied one of his hoodies around my waist to hide my hunting knives and garotte, and headed out. By the time I reached the bay, I’d established one thing: I _really_ should have worn something warmer.

Boston Harbor is still a pretty major port but in the middle of the night it was pretty dead. I weaved my way through crates and cranes, searching for anything that resembled a clue. Finally, I spotted it; the twinned snakes I had tattooed on the back of my neck, spray-painted in magenta on the side of a shipping container. ( _Never guessed Magnus would graffiti something in the name of a surprise.)_ Sure enough, there was an envelope taped beneath the symbol, containing the second card.

 _‘Our ironclad champion takes the bait!_  
This clue is second out of eight.  
To complete the next leg of your quest,  
Head to where the Bruins test.’

Test… That could be where they hold try outs or where they hold games… So far, these clues weren’t too cryptic, so I decided to head down to TD Gardens. ( _This neighbourhood’s pretty dicey… Kind of glad I brought my weapons…)_

I scoured TD Garden and found nothing. I was about to look up the training ground of the Bruins instead but I saw a man shambling up to me in a trenchcoat and a hat. _(Oh great… Perv alert.)_ I started moving away, tracking the distance between us.  I was carefully manoeuvring into open space so I could shift and fly away when he spoke.

‘Alex Fierro? You _are_ Alex Fierro, right?’

‘How do you know my name?’ I demanded, slipping my hand under the hoodie to grab my knife.

‘The guy told me to give you this… Blond feller.’ He slurred.

 _(What the fuck Magnus?!_ ). I approached the dude warily. He held out another card, less pristine than the others. He grinned at me when I got close, breath reeking of alcohol.

‘Thanks.’ I snatched the card.

‘Y’know… I wouldn’t make a pretty miss like you run all over the city at night.’ He cackled.

‘Sure you wouldn’t.’ I turned and sprinted. He cat-called after me. I’d fended off enough creeps to know he wasn’t geared up enough to bother following but I still turned nine corners before stopping to read.

 _‘I see you met my little friend!_  
Now, just around the river bend,  
A place where magic holds no sway  
and you spent your sixth birthday.’

_My sixth birthday… The science museum? Except… I don’t think I told Magnus that…_

Starting to get freaked out, I called Magnus. _Pick up, pick up, pick up!_

He didn’t. Clearly because he’s ‘kidnapped’ according to this stupid game. I called Sam instead.

‘Alex?’ She yawned. ‘It’s three thirty in the morning!’

‘No lies, right now! Did you know about the science museum or the perv or the graffiti or _anything else_ in this stupid scavenger hunt!’ I snapped.

‘Scavenger hunt?’ She repeated sleepily.

‘Yes! The stupid, fake kidnapping scavenger hunt Magnus is doing for Valentine’s Day!’ I yelled. I knew where it was going. I just didn’t want to know.

‘No… Magnus’ surprise was you two going water-skiing together… He was worried about it because he’s never seen you in swimwear and he thought it might be a trigger.’ Sam’s voice was clearer now, worry waking her. ‘You called him first, right?’

‘Yes… he’s not picking up…’ Panic swam in my belly. ‘Sam… I’ll call you back… I need to check something.’ I hung up and called TJ.

‘Alex? I thought the phones were for emergencies?’ He sounded way too manic. Clearly one of his video game all nighters.

‘TJ, I need you to go into Magnus’ room and put him on the phone right NOW!’ I almost screamed. TJ didn’t question further. The longest eight minutes of my life followed, with TJ checking every room in Hall Nineteen and going to check with Hundig.

‘Magnus isn’t in the hotel Alex…’ TJ finally confirmed.

‘…Call Sam and get everyone to the Science Museum, ASAP!’ I snapped. I hung up again and started running, crossing the Charles river. I circled the building three time and gave up, scaling it. The envelope was lying next to a spay painted magic circle with the entwined snakes in the centre. I picked it up and opened it with trembling hands.

 _‘I expect by now you’ve called for aid;_  
Tut tut! That’s not how this game is played!  
So step within my painted door,  
Or the blood of Chase will spill once more.’

 _It’s most likely a bluff. Going alone would be seriously reckless._ My logical self intoned quietly.

 _IF IT’S NOT A BLUFF MAGNUS IS DEAD!_ My emotional self screamed. By the time my brain made the choice, my feet had already taken the five steps into the circle. There was a pulse of turquoise light and I was hit by a staggering wave of cold.

 _Jotunheim…_ I hugged myself and looked around, spotting another card almost immediately. This one was bright pink, and pinned to a tree. Thanks to the deceptive scale of Jotunheim, this turned out to be a thirty minute stagger through the snow. At least it gave me time to strategize.

 _My enemy is most likely a giant. In other words, I can barely trust my senses but my instincts are better. If I can get there and stall help_ will _come and Magnus is no fool. He’ll be fighting to find his own way of escape. All I need to do is find where he is and then I can move freely._

The card was massive. I had to read it like a cinema screen.

 _‘Love has made you brave, my kin._  
My home is near, so welcome in!  
We’re quite alike, you and I,  
So find your answers in your eyes.’

 _My kin… Going after Magnus… Predicting how I would behave and using it to manipulate me… The two snakes… And now calling me kin… It can’t be…_ Fear tightened my throat and made my whole body tremble. _Come on… I already had to deal with my Father, now Mommy Dearest?_

It wasn’t even a good fucking clue! _Okay… Calm down… The first and third lines are probably just to rattle me… There was something about home being near and using my eyes so I can probably see the entrance from where I am… Look around for something… Green or pink or with the snake symbol…_

I turned slow circles, examining everything in the most minute details. Nothing that reminded me of a house or myself or even Loki. _Come on… The answer’s supposed to be in sight or something…_ I reread the line. ‘in your eyes’… It was pretty weird phrasing. _I don’t have a mirror, I can’t just look into my own eyes._ The cold was starting to seep into my bones now. As usual I reached out for something to hold on to, to keep my mind steady, and all I found was Magnus. Magnus at the dinner table, laughing so hard he choked on his drink. Magnus at Chase Space, a tenderness in face and voice as he tended to a visitor. Magnus shifting to make space on the armchair, always preferring to squash up together if I would. Magnus’ lips, warm and soft and sweet, and his hands on my face murmuring about the beauty of my mis-matched eyes.

 _Mis-match. Brown and Amber!_ I looked up and down the trunk of the tree, and the tree next to it, and next to that. Finally I found one with two knot-holes side by side; one deep brown and one shining amber. I peered into them and saw a tiny house like a fairy tale. The amber came from the light of a fireplace in a sweet little kitchen and the dark brown was an unlit bedroom, with a message glittering on the back wall.

 _‘I hope you tracked me pretty quick,_  
I’d hate the cold to make you sick!  
The door’s unlocked but out of sight,   
So reach out your hand to the right.’ 

I felt like I was walking into a trap… But sometimes you have to walk in knowing it’s going to end in disaster. I put my hand out and hit an invisible door, groping along its surface until I found a handle. Sure enough, the handle turned easily and I was able to step into a weird little vestibule. It was stuffed with coats of every colour and pattern and fabric. It was also pleasantly warm. I shut the door behind me, turned into a spider and crept along the wall. I ended up in hallway, with another envelope sitting on the floor but I didn’t approach it.

A door swung open and what appeared to be a thirteen year old boy hurried out. He had black hair tied in a long plait down his back, a collection of Japanese kanji tattooed down his bare arms and stopped to inspect the note with a sigh.

‘Looks like he isn’t here yet… I hope he doesn’t freeze…’ He muttered before shuffling back toward the door. I followed, creeping silently across the ceiling and slipping through the crack between door and frame.

_Magnus!_

He was sitting on a stool by the fire, tensely clutching the edges of it, his face drawn with worry, Jack bobbing at his side. There was no-one else in the room. This was my best shot.

I crawled until I was directly above the weird kid, dropped, transforming in mid-air, pulled out my garotte, caught his neck in the loop and landed on him as it tightened, knocking him to the ground and choking the life out him.

‘ALEX!’


	33. Live action "Sword in the Stone" (Magnus' POV)

When I woke up in a strange room, my first instinct was to check if Jack was still there.

_‘Thank goodness Se_ _ñor! I’ve been trying to bust out of here for an hour! We’ve been snatched!’_

_Snatched… By someone who can block you transforming?_

_‘Not exactly… I’m out of juice.’_

_Out of juice?_

_‘I told you! I need your help sometimes!’_

_Okay, okay! What do you know about the ‘snatcher’?_

_‘He’s definitely giant… I’d say Jotun.’_

_‘And?’_

_‘He seems young but he’s a Jotun. Anything else I notice is pretty debateable.’_

_…Fair point._

Rather than solely depending on Jack, I decided to trust my own eyes. I used a trick Halfborn taught me for being caught by enemies while unconscious and peered through my lashes. I was in a small, bright room full of fancy wooden furniture.  Someone had laid me on a sofa, I didn’t seem to be bound but there was something about the room that just seemed… _off_.

‘Oh good! You’re awake!’ A surprisingly high, light voice chirped.

I took a good look at the owner. Jack was right; he did look young. He had jet black hair, that he’d tied into a clumsy long plait, a tank-top bearing the silhouette of that spiky haired guy from the hero school anime, and Japanese symbols tattooed on his arm.

 _Just_ one time _could I meet someone from the Nine Realms who_ isn’t _a total eccentric?!_

_‘You like that cartoon stuff too!’_

_At least it’s from_ my realm _._

 _‘Hey! You Midgardians listen to Taylor Swift_ all the time _!’_

The Jotun otaku was starting to look worried. He thought for a moment and then tried stuttered sign language, speaking along.

Out loud, he said: ‘Hi…. Magnus… I’m glad you’re awake. Don’t worry, I’m a friend.’ He finger spelled each word laboriously and a little clumsily.

‘I’m not deaf.’ I said eventually.

‘Oh. Because you use that a lot.’ He frowned.

‘Yeah, I do.’  I chose not to elaborate.

He stood, looking expectantly at me. I stared him down, falling back into my old hard stare.

_‘Ahhh, your wolf eyes.’_

_Don’t call them that Jack._

Looking at his face this directly, I realised with a jolt that he had very familiar features. There was an intense burn to his eyes, a finesse to his cheekbones and jawline, even a habit of running his tongue over his canines while waiting to speak that I’d seen in three people. Alex Fierro, Samirah Al-Abbas and Loki.

‘I expect you’d like to know why I brought you here.’ He finally spoke.

‘Alex, Sam or both?’ I shot back.

He started, jerking back and hesitating. He cleared his throat and straightened up, speaking a little stiffly.

‘I’m hoping to connect with both of them eventually… But today I’d like to get to know Alex. She’s a little… friendlier.’ His hands twitched and his eyes darted around the room.

_Jack… Be ready._

_‘Always Se_ _ñor.’_ Jack proved his seriousness by quietly singing ‘This is War’ in my head.

‘Why snatch me if you want to ‘connect’? Or are you using Loki’s definition of the word?’ I snapped.

He pouted at me. ‘That’s not very nice. You don’t get angry at the other two because of my dad. Is it because I’m not pretty? Because I can’t help that.’

‘No, it’s because neither of them have ever kidnapped me!’ I folded my arms.

‘Sam _sort_ of kidnapped you. She took your soul.’ He pointed out.

‘ _That_ is _true, Se_ _ñor.’_

_Your input is appreciated Jack._

‘Not the same thing.’ I retorted.

‘…Fine. I want to impress her okay!’ He wailed.

‘…What?’ I stared.

‘Alex. I want her to think I’m cool. So I’ve left tons of cool puzzles to lead her here only she ignored my last try so I’m using you as bait.’ He elaborated.

Horror seeped into me. ‘So… You’re thinking that Alex will be _impressed_ with all this.’

‘Yep.’ He grinned. ‘You know she likes games.’

‘Yes Alex _does_ like games… But not so much kidnapping or being forced to play by strangers!’ I groaned. ‘Listen… Whatever your name is?-’

‘Agnar.’ He looked gloomy. ‘Agnar Lokison for now. I want them to start calling me Agnar the Clever or maybe Agnar the Carpenter.’

Jack picked this moment to appear. ‘Or Agnar the Geeky!’ He suggested gleefully.

Agnar the Geeky looked off put by this briefly but then considered it. ‘Better than Lokison.’ He concluded.

‘I’m sure it is… But Agnar, listen to me. This will _not_ make Alex feel friendly toward you. You’ll be lucky if Alex doesn’t _kill_ you over this!’ I spread my hands. ‘You’ve got to let me go!’

‘I can’t! If you go now then Alex won’t take the circle and then I might catch another druggie!’ Agnar wailed.

‘What does your… other parent think about this?’ I asked, mostly trying to figure out the likelihood of a less naïve, full grown Jotun getting involved. (Assuming that Agnar the Bad Planner was actually a teenaged otaku on a family reunion kick, not a trained assassin trying to confuse me into something.)

‘My mom’s dead.’ Agnar’s shoulders sagged. Whatever else was real, I felt a genuine surge of pain from him, an injury in his mind that would never fully heal.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay. She wasn’t one of the ones you killed.’ He replied, matter-of-factly. ‘But you know… I’m not asking you to stay for free.’

‘I’m telling you, you shouldn’t be “asking” me to stay at _all_. Alex is seriously going to kill you for this, he’s not going to laugh over the clever clues.’ I sat down on a stool, so I could look him in the eyes. ‘Agnar, this is a _bad plan_.’

‘It’ll be fine. I explain the ruse in the seventh poem.’ Agnar replied confidently.

‘You’re talking to him through _poems_.’ I groaned.

‘Yes! And I’m showing off how well I know her and how alike we are.’ Agnar beamed.

 _He._ I thought, about to correct him. My stomach dropped. I only know whether Alex is a guy or a girl when we’re close. _Alex is in Jotunheim. He’s in Jotunheim and he thinks I’m in danger and he’s probably freezing and tired…_ I got up. ‘I’m going.’

‘No!’ Agnar’s hands shot out and everything in the room quaked slightly. ‘No, if you go now you’ll ruin _everything!_ ’ The more upset he got, the more the room quaked. Now that it was continuous, I got see that although the stone floor, ceiling, walls and hearth were warping slightly, the wooden furniture was fine. _That’s why he likes it. He doesn’t break it by mistake._

I sat on the stool. ‘Okay. _Okay_ Agnar. I won’t go _right_ now.’

The room still quaked. He was gasping now, his arms flapping erratically.

‘Agnar… Breathe. Come on, with me now: _In_ … Two… Three… Four…’

After a few deep breaths, he calmed down and the room stopped shaking. ‘…How did you do that? Is that your neutralising power?’ He stared at me with wonder.

‘It’s not a power, it’s a breathing exercise… It calms you down, gives you back control.’ I took another deep breath for myself. ‘Listen… I’m worried about Alex. He’s impulsive when he’s pissed off. He might… Arrive in Jotunheim and decide to choke the information out of Big Boy.’

‘I hadn’t thought of that… I better see if he’s arrived.’ Agnar scurried out of the room.

‘I like him.’ Jack announced.

‘Uh-huh.’ I squeezed the edges of my stool. ‘I’d like him more if he wasn’t putting Alex’s life at risk.’

Agnar the Temperamental chose this moment to walk back in, looking dejected. He opened his mouth, presumably to tell me that Alex wasn’t here yet when a spider on the ceiling turned into Alex and dropped like a pouncing snow leopard, neatly snagging his throat with the garotte and pinning him down to choke the life out of him.

‘ALEX!’ I sprang up. ‘Look! I’m fine! No need to murder your little brother!’

Alex narrowed his eyes up at me.  ‘If you aren’t captured, what the _hell_ are you playing at?’ He snarled.

I held up my hands. ‘I mean… I _was_ kind of captured but he didn’t ever intend to hurt me, I think…’

‘He did nearly kill us with earth magic.’ Jack mused.

Alex’s eyes flashed and he tightened the wire. The room began to tremble.

‘Alex! He’s not doing it on purpose, you’re scaring him!’ I yelled.

‘ _I’m_ scaring _him_?’ Alex’s eyes blazed. It was like gazing into a portal to Muspelheim. ‘Do you know what the last few hours have been? At first I thought… I thought you were playing a game. And then the clues didn’t seem like they were from you so I called Sam. And TJ. And found out you were missing. And then I found a magic circle that took me to _Jotunheim_ and a note I thought meant my _mother_ had you and this _peque_ _ña mierda_ was responsible and you’re concerned that _I’m_ scaring _him_?!’ Alex dropped the garotte, sprang to his feet and grabbed me, yanking me into a mind-wiping kiss.

‘Wha?’ I gasped when he finally pulled back.

Alex gripped the front on my pyjama top. ‘…Still think he’s not a threat?’

‘Yes, provided you stop scaring him. His earth magic’s a bit… emotional trigger happy.’ I explained, still a little light-headed.

‘Like Natsu but rocks.’ Agnar broke in, unhelpfully.

‘…Fine. That should have snapped you out any mind magic so you’re clearly not hypnotised.’ Alex muttered, turning to glare at Agnar. ‘You have ten seconds to explain yourself or we find out if I can decapitate you faster than you can crush us.’

‘I WANT TO BE FRIENDS!’ Agnar screamed, which given his track record was probably his best shot at strategy yet. Clear, straight to the point… If he hadn’t screamed at a very skittish, keyed up shape-shifter, all probably would have been well.

As it was, he turned into an elephant and trunk slapped Agnar back onto the floor. Agnar also panicked and shrank into a mouse. Alex pounced on him as an ocelot, so Agnar tried to escape by growing into a hippopotamus. Apparently this was some kind of shape-shifting duel faux pas because Alex puffed up, hissing more like a house cat and turned into a giant (as in six foot) army ant and flipped him. Agnar, maybe inspired by his beached turtling, shrank into a large tortoise and retreated into his shell.

Alex apparently decided to pull out the big guns. He turned into a grizzly bear and began pounding on the shell with his massive paws.

‘…Jack. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but if there was ever a time to sing the first thing that pops into your head, it’s now.’ I muttered.

Jack took me at my word and began belting out his personal rendition of Toxic. It actually worked. Grizzly and Tortoise looked up in surprise.

‘If everyone could stop yelling and trying to kill each other… Al, why don’t we call home, hear Agnar out and _then_ make shell smashing decisions?’

The bear turned back into my boyfriend and stalked over, grabbing my waist. ‘Fine. Soft-hearted idiot.’ He kissed my cheek, pulled out his phone and started texting Sam.

The tortoise grew into a visibly bruised and beaming Agnar. ‘That was so cool! Is Sam coming too?’

Alex glared at him. ‘No thanks to your little threat!’

‘I just wanted you to take the game seriously… I did explain in the one in the hall.’ Agnar looked dejected.

‘I didn’t read that one.’ Alex rolled his eyes and frowned at my face. ‘Mags, you’re pale as a ghost, haven’t you eaten?’

‘Can you really say that when you’re half-frozen, haven’t slept in over twenty hours, eaten or drank in eight and just fought a few animals?’ I raised my eyebrows.

‘Don’t flip this on me, I’m not the one who got kidnapped!’ Alex delved into his pockets and produced a Mars Bar, which he snapped in half. My stomach gurgled gratefully and Alex finally smiled.

I ate the chocolate. Sometimes you need to cling on to the things you know for sure in life, especially when your boyfriend’s acting weird, you’ve been semi-kidnapped by an emotional, shape-shifting teenaged otaku and your sword has moved on to the packing song from Sword in the Stone. And right now, I knew for sure that chocolate tasted good and I was seriously hungry.


	34. I decide to be less like my father (Alex's POV)

[ _FFS Magnus made friends w/his kidnapper! >:/ _] I texted to Sam.

[ _Is he ok?! Where are you two?!_ ] She texted back.

[ _In Jotunheim. We have a psycho little brother. It’s a whole thing._ ] I glared at the kid, Aggie-wotsit.

Magnus, despite his insistence that the kid hadn’t done anything bad, was pale and bleary-eyed, his hair so tousled from constant ruffling that he looked like a shonen hero. I pulled him tighter to my side. His head flopped against me, eyes fluttering slightly.

[ _WHY DIDN’T YOU WAIT FOR BACK UP?!]_

[ _Because the little shit threatened Magnus is I did! I trusted you guys would find a way to track me and played along to buy time!_ ]

[ _You need to get out of there!]_

_[I know!!!!]_

‘Yeah, Sam can’t make it. Let’s get out of here Mags.’ I tried to steer him out but he dug his heels in. Literally.

‘Come on Al, at least talk to him.’ He hissed.

‘ _No!_ ’ I was, by now, burning up with anger. ‘I don’t give in to bullies! He doesn’t get to manipulate me and threaten me and put you at risk and _then_ get what he wants! Give me _one fucking reason_ why I should give him a chance.’

‘Because his mom’s dead and apart from his siblings _your_ mom’s the only family he’s got!’ Magnus snapped. ‘You know that kids who don’t have anyone act out more!’

_Oh great. He’s fallen for a sob story._

‘I’m not naïve!’ Magnus glared at me. ‘I _know_ giants are liars but he truly is hurting _bad_ over something! Does it matter if he can’t tell us what?’

‘YES! It matters to me because this is the second time in three months somethings attacked you and I wasn’t there to help!’ The words burst out before I could help them. ‘And, typical Magnus, you’re acting like it’s not a big deal! Well newsflash to you and every other death-seeking  moron out there, it might not matter to _you_ if you get yourself killed but it matters to other people! Last time it was an ice goddess, this time its an ice giant, so at this point I’m just waiting for Frosty the snowman to fucking impale you! You are such a-’

I didn’t get to finish my point because Magnus suddenly kissed me.

‘I’m not going to hang back and let myself get killed. I screwed up with the Khione thing, big time, but I was _never_ blasé about this. I checked I had Jack first thing and I’m pressing you to keep things calm because I know how quickly it gets intense if Agnar loses it.’ He rested our foreheads together. ‘I don’t know him well enough to say he deserves help. But he really, _really_ needs it. I can’t just walk away from that, and I think if you do, you’ll regret it once you’re calmer.’ 

I took a few deep breaths, staring into his eyes. Then I turned to Agnar. ‘Okay. He’s right; I should give you a chance… But you put us in a risky spot. So I’m asking you… to come to Midgard with us. You can meet our sister, we’ll get something to eat…. We’ll see if we click. And if we do… Let’s take it from there.’

Agnar was staring raptly. ‘Wow! That was so dramatic! You were like… BOOOM and he was like _swoosh_ and then it was all awwww…!’

‘… _Magnus_!’

‘…If you still let him come, I’ll let you dress me as fancy as you like for Annabeth’s wedding.’

‘…Deal!’

Sam punched Agnar as soon as she met him. Magnus had to grab her to stop her going for him properly and Mallory, Halfborn, TJ, Blitz and Hearth all had weapons at the ready.

‘Hi! I’m Agnar Lokison, but you can call me Agnar the Clever!’ Agnar announced brightly from the floor.

‘Or Agnar the Geeky.’ Jack chimed in.

‘ _Jack!_ ’ Magnus snapped.

‘Okay, how about Agnar the Tease? Because he never did tell us how he meant to pay you back for staying.’

‘I didn’t get a chance!’ Agnar broke in indignantly. ‘He just started going on about how Alex was going to try and kill me.’

 _‘To be fair, judging by those marks on your neck, he did try.’_ Hearth signed.

‘Oh!... Hi… I… am… Agnar…’ Agnar spelled out laboriously.

 _‘Tell him I can read lips.’_ Hearth suggested.

‘Hearth reads lips fluently. As long as you don’t look away or anything, he’ll know what you’re saying.’

‘Oh… Okay.’ Agnar deflated.

‘So… What _were_ you planning to give Magnus?’ I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

‘Information! About Bragi!’ Agnar explained eagerly.

‘What?!’

‘The fuck?’

‘You’re kidding!’

‘How did you?’

_‘Impossible!’_

Everyone’s reactions burst out at once, causing Agnar to jump back and make the sidewalk tremble. ‘I do, honest… My great-great-great-and-then-some-grandfather was friends with Bragi when he disappeared and Bragi left a clue in the form of a riddle rhyme… It’s how I got interested in them!’

‘Yay! I’m finally going to get my epic!’ Jack cheered.

‘Wait… let me get something to write it down!’ Magnus patted his pyjama pants three times before realising he definitely wouldn’t have a notebook or pen on him. Sam produced both and handed them over, shaking her head.

‘Okay… It goes like this:  
 _First into the rising sun,  
To island nations three,  
Then we go, down below,  
Find the land of dreams_’ Agnar chanted like a nursery rhyme.

‘Well… Thank you… But can we go get breakfast now?’ Magnus suggested.

‘Not until you get dressed Magnus.’ Sam shook her head.

‘Here… I have spare clothes.’ Blitzen handed him a bag.

I tried to get to know Agnar while Magnus was changing. He rambled constantly, unable to stick to one conversation. Trying to follow was a constant reminder of how exhausted I was, not to mention he had _awful_ taste in manga. It’s like… there are more magazines than JUMP!

Sam, surprisingly, stuck around even though she had even less in common with the little shit than I did. She was unbelievably patient.

‘Blitz… Do I really _need_ the bow tie?’ Magnus asked in despair.

‘You watch a whole show about how cool bow ties are!’

‘There’s more to Doctor Who than bowties!’

‘Gimme a minute kid.’ I peeled away from Agnar to check out Magnus in a bow tie. ‘Awww… You look like a cartoon ice prince.’

‘Thanks Al.’ He pulled a face.

‘A very cute one.’ I promised, pulling him close. ‘And a very warm one.’

‘Can we _please_ go get something to eat? I seem to have lost my hunger tolerance.’ He rubbed his eyes.

 _‘It’s shock.’_ Hearth frowned. _‘You’re too pale and clammy, you’re breathing too rapidly and you keep staggering.’_

‘…I’m really sorry Hearth, I didn’t follow that…’ Magnus bit his lip.

‘…I think he’s right.’ I looped my arms around him. ‘Never mind going out for breakfast, let’s get you home and eat there.’

‘Okay.’ Magnus just sagged against me, I think he was too tired to consider trying to argue.

‘Let me help; I can carry him easier than you.’ Halfborn suggested.

I shot him a disdainful look and grew to his height and muscle mass, just to show that I could.

‘THAT IS SO COOL!’ Agnar raced over. ‘Will you teach me?!’

‘Maybe on a day when my boyfriend _isn’t_ in shock thanks to you.’ I snapped.

He hung his head, looking disappointed. It was like a punch in the gut; snapping me back to all the times I’d tried to find ways to connect with my dad, only to be brushed off.

I took a deep breath. ‘I’m sorry Agnar… It’s just hard for me to relax when I can see he’s not well… Magnus is really important to me.’

Agnar bit his lip. ‘I didn’t think you could hurt someone with a surprise.’

‘…No. I don’t think you did.’ I returned to my usual form, too tired to keep up a false one.

‘You _sure_ you don’t want help? Because I’m not sure Magnus would survive being dropped under a car.’ Halfborn frowned.

‘…I see what you’re saying but I can’t actually let go right now.’ I admitted.

‘So clingy.’ Mallory teased.

‘Yep.’ I took a worried look at Magnus. He seemed conscious but he hadn’t responded to the whole conversation. ‘We need to go.’

We were debating how to best treat the shock on the way back to the hotel.

‘For the last fucking time, Mack, we’re not just killing him so he can resurrect!’ I snapped.

‘It’s easier than faffing around!’ She grumbled. ‘Besides, you could hang with your little brother while you wait.’

‘Mmm.’ I fudged, knowing full well I wasn’t going to be able to relax if Magnus so much as nipped to the bathroom, let alone leaving him to die and come back to life.

In the end, we had an awkward brunch in Magnus’ room. I sat on the bed with his head in my lap and everyone else picnicked in the atrium. Agnar made sure he was by an open window and kept checking his exits nervously, even though outwardly he was all smiles and bubbly chatter.

‘Okay.’ I whispered into Magnus’ hair while he slept. ‘You were right as usual… I might not want him, but he needs us.’ I swear he smiled in his freaking sleep. (Actually, if that was just from hearing my voice, that’s really sweet…)

‘So… What are we going to do from here, oh Agnar the Menace?’ I asked, when it was approaching evening and Magnus was fully awake again.

‘Maybe… I could come hang out… Like once a week?’ He looked hopeful.

‘I guess… We could swing that.’ I admitted.

‘Sounds good to me.’ Sam agreed. ‘Like a… sibling support group.’

‘Just as long as Fenny-boy stays on his island.’ I added, making them both laugh.

When they all finally left, I dragged Magnus across the hall with me so I could change.

‘Um… I should confess something.’ Magnus sounded so worried I immediately considered plagues, floods and Agnar being 80. ‘…The outing WAS supposed to be my present to you… I don’t have anything ready…’

‘ _Ay dios mio._ ’ I grabbed him by the bow tie and dragged him to the bed. ‘Listen up, dorkus maximus.’ I pushed him so his knees hit the bed and he fell down. ‘All I wanted from today was to be sure you were alive and safe. That’s more important than some dumb Roman tradition that doesn’t even _apply_ to us because I’m pretty sure Saint Valentine wouldn’t have condoned marriage to a genderfluid shape-shifter.’ 

‘But I thought-’

‘I just like spoiling you, you moron… And I want to mark these dumb little human traditions while we’re still normal enough to care… I don’t trust myself to commit to anything forever, so before I fuck it up royally I want to enjoy every minute I have you… And that means taking this silly excuse to show off that I can get you thoughtful gifts and have semi-respectable mushy time.’ I yanked my sweater over my head and wriggled out of my jeans and boxers, enjoying the widening of his eyes and the slackness of his jaw. ‘I’m ecstatic that you tried so hard to surprise me and let me try something new… but today I spent over an hour genuinely not knowing if I’d ever see you again. So trust me, I don’t care if I missed out on a billion presents, getting you back was better. Now, get your hot ass out of those clothes so I can screw you already!’

‘…You’re really sexy when you get bossy.’ He murmured breathily.

‘I know _querido_ , it’s my unfiltered personality.’ I kissed him hard. ‘Chop chop.’


	35. Moving on (Magnus' POV) (Final Chapter)

It took me about a month to figure out what was wrong with the riddle; I was taking North America as my starting point.

I got hold of a European world map, started in old Norse territory and traced eastward (looping the globe until I realised I had to go a little South, because in some seasons the sun rises in the south-east) until I hit an island nation; Japan. From there southward I hit Indonesia (two island nations) and Papua New Guinea (three island nations)… And then Australia. A land called “Down Under” with a mythology around dreams.

 _‘We’re going to get my epic!’_ Jack cheered.

‘Hang on!’ I muttered aloud. ‘I can’t just take off to _Australia_ with no warning!’

_‘But it’ll be fun! We haven’t had a good quest in years!’_

_‘We’ve also put down roots in those years…’_ I hesitated, reluctant to admit I’d always thought when I went looking for Braggi I wouldn’t be alone. Blitz, Hearth, Sam, Alex… They all had responsibilities here in Boston. _I_ had responsibilities here in Boston.

 _‘So… no epic?’_ Jack tried to sound calm but I could hear the bitterness creeping in, the old hurt _my_ dad caused ripping open.

 _‘Yes epic… I just need to figure out how I’m going to go so far away…’_ I sighed.

 _‘You could convince your cousin to go to Australia for her honeymoon and tag along.’_ Jack suggested brightly.

I laughed out loud at the prospect. ‘Well, you are right that I need to wait until after the wedding… That’s plenty of time to figure things out.’

Annabeth and Percy had prepared for their wedding with the assumption that nothing short of an apocalypse was plausible. Despite all of that it was… normal. The biggest crisis was that the rings went missing half an hour before the ceremony, only to be found on Estelle’s fingers as she serenely twirled in front of a mirror in her bridesmaid’s dress.

Annabeth’s dress and Percy’s suit were both designed to become combat ready at the drop of a hat. Thanks to Blitzen, they – along with the rest of the wedding party outfits, mine included – were also fancy and elegant.

I grabbed Alex’s hand when Annabeth appeared in the doorway, linking arms with Uncle Frederick. She looked so _happy_ , lit from within. Percy froze, looking up at her, and had to drag a sleeve across his eyes. A satyr I’d been introduced to as the Best Man; Grover, patted his back but he was also a bit tearful.

The ceremony was performed by a centaur, who towered above us. The CD player shorted out and a divinely beautiful rendition of a song I couldn’t recognise but which left _me_ in tears floated down from above. (I distinctly heard Nico mutter to Will ‘ _Your bloody dad!’_ )

‘I hear you prepared your own vows?’ Chiron the centaur asked.

‘Yep.’ Percy chuckled, wiping his eyes again. ‘Annabeth… You’ve been the best thing in my life for a long time… We’ve faced so many end-of-the-worlds and last-breaths… But none of them are frightening if you’re by my side. I would face an eternity in Punishment or Tartarus or suburban Iowa if it meant being with you. You’re the smartest, bravest, most heroic person I’ve ever met and I don’t think anyone in this room would still be alive without you.’ He kissed her hand impulsively, despite this _not_ being the kissing portion of the ceremony. ‘I love you, Wise Girl… And I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together.’

Annabeth, for once in her life, seemed speechless. She glanced up at the sky and I realised that this close, she was so conditioned to expect this to be the moment that things went wrong she’d frozen. I tensed, ready to move, and I saw Uncle Frederick do the same… But neither of us got a chance because Percy said her name softly and Annabeth snapped out of her funk.

‘For someone who never shuts up with the wise cracks… Thank you for keeping that short and sweet, Seaweed Brain.’ This elicited a chuckle from most of the guests. ‘I had… A long traditional list of promises I probably can’t guarantee I’ll keep because I wanted my vows to be vows… But if there’s one thing I learned being with you its that plans change and being flexible is the path to success. So… I’ll only make one. I vow on the River Styx that I will never abandon you Perseus Jackson; whatever force parts us I will fight it with everything I have until we’re together again… because regardless of what else is happening – yes it’s regardless not _ir_ regardless – if we’re together, I know we can handle it.’

Chiron pronounced them husband and wife, and Percy released all his pent up humour causing the water in thirty or so buckets he’d concealed around the alter to swirl around them as they kissed.

‘Ugh. First these two, then Sam and Amir… if this spreads, these things may be our life for the next few years Magnus.’ Alex whispered. I let the snark slide, holding her to my side, because she was obviously uncomfortable and I appreciated her coming with me.

We watched their first dance, then Percy with his mom and sister, Annabeth with her dad and brothers. Couples and pairs started heading up to the dance floor for the _weirdest_ assortment of music I had ever heard. There was some dramatic classical waltz immediately followed by “Under the Sea” from Little Mermaid.

Annabeth sidled over after half an hour and held out her hand. ‘Magnus?’

I hesitated, battling down the instinct to flee.

‘He’d love to.’ Alex rolled her eyes and pushed me forward.

I didn’t really know how to dance so I just kinda held Annabeth’s hands and swayed a bit.

She laughed. ‘You’re bad at this.’

‘I never learned how! I forgot this was part of weddings!’ I protested.

‘How do you forget people dance at weddings?’

‘Well the only wedding I’ve ever been to was a fake wedding for a world ending plot! That didn’t end with dancing, it ended with murder!’ I looked around, suddenly nervous.

‘…Are you okay? You’ve been keyed up all day…’ Annabeth frowned.

I flushed guiltily; I never meant to upset her today of all days. ‘Just got some stuff coming up… I’ll tell you soon. When you get back from… you know, you never _did_ tell me about your honeymoon.’

Annabeth blushed too. ‘Ah… I’ll tell you about _that_ when we get back. Deal?’

‘…Deal.’ I agreed.

When the song ended, I headed back to our table but Alex had gone. A quick check on Nico and Piper (both on the dance floor) confirmed that she wasn’t with either of them and I slipped out onto the balcony. Sure enough, there was a climbable looking wall ivy and scrambling up revealed Alex, spacing out on the roof.

‘Hey you.’ I called softly, not wanting to disturb her peace.

She smiled and patted the space next to her, so I climbed up, offering an arm to shelter from the warmth. She leaned into me and relaxed.

‘You hate weddings, don’t you?’ I checked.

‘Yep. I hate the fact that the commitment usually means nothing, I hate how aggressively heteronormative the culture is, I hate how its rooted in a concept of ownership and I hate the notion of one party giving up their name.’ She sighed deeply. ‘Which I probably shouldn’t have said without asking; did you ever think about getting married as a kid?’

‘Not really. My parents never were so it wasn’t just a given part of growing up for me… And I never met anyone I wanted to.’ I paused, there was a pretty obvious direction for this conversation to go and I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about it.

 _Do I want to marry_ Alex _? Or think that I might want to some day?_

I studied her, trying to comprehend it. What would it even mean? It’s not like we’d live more closely together than we already do. We’d never be having kids. We wouldn’t change our names… And as Einherji we’d already passed the whole “til death do you part” thing.

‘I wanted to.’ Alex replied, surprisingly. ‘I really wanted to. The first marriage I learned about was my _Abuelo_ and _Abuela_. They were supremely happy together, partners and equals in every way… But then I learned about marriages like my parents’, not to mention all the ownership and aggressive gendering… It just seemed like yet another basic, human thing I’m too _inhuman_ to have.’ She turned her body, pressing into me.

I held her tighter. ‘For the record… There are a lot of reasons I don’t want to get married but you being the spouse isn’t one of them.’

She laughed and untensed a little. ‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah… I think, maybe if we were alive I’d want to… Some day.’ I admitted, feeling my face burn.

‘…I think I might’ve been okay with it if it was with you. I think we’d have found a way of doing it that suits us both.’ Alex kissed my warm cheek and wrapped her arms around my neck.

A wave of pain swept through me. _What is wrong with me? We’ve only been close like this five months, how can I already be thinking ‘How will I cope without her?’?..._

‘Magnus?’ Her mismatched eyes softened, imploring me to tell her with a gentleness her words never allowed her.

‘Lexie… I figured out Agnar’s riddle.’ I blurted.

‘Huh?! I didn’t think you even believed him, the little oddball.’ She shook her head, smiling slightly.

‘I do… You know as well as I do, he’s only weird, not dumb… And the answer makes sense; we don’t have any feelers in Australia.’ I froze, not meaning to let the location slip with so little preparation.

‘Australia? _Ohhh_ if you start from the old Viking territory… yeah that makes sen-’ I felt the moment she realised. I felt her whole body tense.

I had a whole speech planned; about how I believed we’d manage being apart, how this was something I had to do that shouldn’t upend her life, about how sorry I was. I’d spent a month making it as non-threatening and open-ended as possible.

Instead, when I opened my mouth all that came out was: ‘Come with me. Please?’

‘I’m sorry, why am I the practical, sensible one here? We have Chase Space and training and a family!’ She pulled back sharply and I braced myself for a wolf, a bolt, or an explosion, all her tried and tested coping mechanisms. Instead, she moved back close and forced me to look right at her. ‘When?’

‘I don’t want to treat Jack like shit so… soon. Within a month.’ I admitted.

‘Wow. Big ask, Magnus.’ She flopped next to me once more.

‘I almost didn’t ask. It’s like you said… we have lives in Boston and I’m the one who made that promise.’ I sighed. ‘I probably should have said sooner but…’

‘We’re in a weird spot like that. We’re kind of at the point where we owe the other person part of the decision but also at the point where we need space to sort out our own feelings first.’ She summarised, like we were tuned in to the same frequency. ( _Skittish FM_ )

‘Yeah.’ I hugged my knees.

‘…Let me think too, okay?’ Alex squeezed my hand.

**One month later – Alex’s POV**

I gave in, of course. I mean, on the one hand I could stay to be cautious and responsible… But going meant adventure and new experiences and Magnus.

Saying goodbye to Sasha was the hardest part. If she hadn’t gotten so much closer with Blitz and Hearth, I might have backed down and stayed.

Everyone else… Well, if we can avert Ragnarok with a week, I was pretty sure we could track down Braggi in a month or two.

We’d managed to get hold of plane tickets. We had a ridiculous mob seeing us off, Einherjar, demigods, dwarves, elves and Amir, who bless him was coping VERY well with meeting Grover and Grover’s horns for the first time.

‘Can’t believe Agnar didn’t bother to come see us off.’ I grumbled as we took our seats.

‘Probably too shy.’ Magnus took my hand. ‘Have I mentioned how happy I am that you’re coming?’

‘Only like a thousand times.’ I grinned at him. ‘Have I mentioned how much I love you?’

‘Only like twice.’ Magnus joked, leaning over to kiss me.

We buckled up and the engine began to whir, preparing to take us to a brand new world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the end of Chasing Iron. I considered spinning this out over another chapter or two but to be honest this was all I really wanted to say on the topic. 
> 
> Massive thank yous to anyone who took the time to read all 35 chapters. It's a massive undertaking! 
> 
> I do hope to write more fics set in the Crossing Lines continuity, but possibly not right away... And not necessarily focused on Alex and Magnus. Hopefully, some of you will still read them when they come out. ^_^ 
> 
> Thank you all again


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